Supporting my husband

Hi Yoyo

What a lovely post. There’ll be lots of people that will pop along that have supported a loved one. 
I am the patient with an Ileostomy and my husband was my rock. He wasn’t phased by any of the consultation, stoma or the operation and how in my case it was six months recovery. 
We found that I could eat fish finger sandwiches with mayo as diet to begin with is beige with an Ileostomy. He actually said he liked them. I’ve been married a life time and he’s never eaten fish fingers before. Those little things just mean so much 

Others will give you lots of advice. Just putting this up shows that you will do whatever is needed to help him through. It’s the two of you going through this. Stay strong 

If it helps to chat here . You can click on peoples names to read their bio 

Before the op my hubby bought me protein drinks. I couldn’t eat much. The drinks did give me the boost I needed to do the exercises that they asked me to do we tried to get me as healthy as possible for the operation  

Hello Yoyo

So much depends on your husband's personality and, for want of a better word, abilities.  Is he handy or will the 'mechanical' side of things trouble him?  (In other words can he put a shelf up?)  If he IS handy try not to fuss him - he'll soon call for help if he needs it.  If he isn't ask what he'd like help with.  But do give him room to come to terms with his new circumstances.  I'm glad I had no time to dwell on the operation; a pouch is something I'd always dreaded and I would have got myself into a right old lather if I'd had to think about it and decide in the way your husband has.  If he's like me he'll be hacked off and, yes, embarrassed that he can't do as much as before (my wife has just this moment gone outside to do the watering we used to share, and I'm feeling a bit bad about it).  I asked my wife to look over this and she added that, if it's appropriate, you be clear with him that you have no issue with him, for example, coming into bed with his pouch.

Cheers, Roy 

Thank you so much Roy. My husband is very practical and independent. Thank you for taking the time. Your message has reminded me to water- thank you! 

You're welcome - and your husband will get on just fine, I'm sure.  He'll know what I mean when I say you look at one of these things and say to yourself - ah, like that are you? This is how we'll deal with you!  But in fact they've been playing about with them for donkeys' years and they are easy to deal with and very reliable.

Hi Roy 

I wanted to thank you also as I’ve read a few of your posts and found them supportive. When you get the chance please can you put your bio up on your profile. It will be beneficial for others with the same. 
Only if you get the chance. 
take care 

Done!  I hope it's what people have in mind.  Constructive criticism welcome.  :-)

Thanks Bagpuss the third. 
No criticism just in awe of how you’re dealing with everything that’s happened to you. 
take care 

Thanks Artsie, but I think we are all in awe of each other in a way.  I can't imagine coping with two stomas or having to worry about what I choose or am given to eat.  I wouldn't go away other than by car for a night or two.  Others here do all that.

At my age the terminal nature is two-sided.  My father dropped dead at 59 with complex work in progress and no chance to say goodbye.  I've long since had my 'three-score years and ten' so personal mortality is on the radar and I count myself lucky that it has come to me in a way that allows me to plan, prepare, manage expectations and generally make the most of my time.

Thanks again for your many helpful and informal posts; it's easy to see from the responses how much you're appreciated.

Best wishes, BPIII   ;-)

Hi BP

Thank you so much I agree with you that there are many here that inspire. I was anxious about flying with an Ileostomy and others long haul with twos stoma’s

. I’m 67 and accept with age I will have challenges to my health. You have a great attitude to your challenges. 
Hope you have a lovely weekend. 

Thanks Artsie, you too.