Hi, I tried posting this as a new topic the other day and it has disappeared somewhere! I'm not sure how to start a new thread so hope you don't mind me adding to this one....

My 71 year old dad was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer in july 08. Surgery wasn't an option because of the position of his tumour, so he started what ended up as 6 months 5FU chemotherapy (stop start due to complications such as shingles and a DVT caused by HIS picc line). He had a scan in march this year when his chemo ended and he was told that the tumour was stable (it had shrunk previosuly from its original size) and his liver etc was clear, although he had 2 gastric nodes. He was told go home and enjoy the next 7-10 years of your life. Approx 4 weeks ago he started feeling full all the time, lost his appetite, was nauseous, vomiting, horrible retching/hiccupping, constipation, back pain, jaundiced. GP diagnosed SWINE FLU (!!) over the phone and he was rushed into the local Medical Assessment Unit on Tuesday. They ruled out swine flu, found he was seriously dehydrated. He hasn't eaten in weeks and since being in hospital was on saline drip and existing on 1/2 fresubin drinks per day. He had CT scan yesterday and was told today the cancer has spread to his liver and lungs and he has approx 3 months.
Shocked is not the word. I don't understand how in 3 months it could have spread so much. I visited him this afternoon with my 13 year old daughter and my step-mum, we sat in stunned silence, then all cried then all felt guilty for upsetting each other. None of us knows how to react. He is having a procedure monday to fit a drain and stent (??) into his liver, but thats all they can do. Just a case of go home and enjoy your last few weeks. He has already agreed to a DNR if anything happens during the procedure.
I don't know how to react or feel, I have spent all day crying and feel I will never stop. He has said he wants to go into a hospice as he saw my mum die of cancer years ago and doesn't want to put any of us through it if he was to be at home. We have tried to tell him to be positive and the doctors can't say you have exactly so many weeks/months, his reply is whats the point of wanting extra weeks when I am going to be suffering. It is too awful, I can't imagine that he won't be here in a few months, he looks so well, he is completely lucid and just 'dad'.
I don't know what to do, where to turn, what to think, Jo