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Hello LilyoftheValley

So sorry to hear about your dad's illness. Its horrible isn't it, the shock? I suspect you are correct in thinking that your dad perhaps wont be able to overcome it this time, but Its very difficult to know whether he will be able to come out of hospital at this stage. If he does, it may be possible for him to go into a nursing home. If you and He want him to be cared for at home, there is a lot of help available. Make sure he is assigned a Macmillan nurse, and he/she will be able to guide through all the relevant paths to get equipment, nursing care and any finacial help available.
Try and take it one day at a time, and spend as much time as you can with your dad.
Big Hugs Barb x x

Andy,

I have looked at your profile and read your message and am so terribly sorry for your situation and your wife's diagnosis. I notice that no-one has responded on this thread so far, which is a kind of introductory thread for new ones.

If you have not yet found a thread on here which you can relate to, I suggest you start your own new thread. If you can include your wife's diagnosis and the fact you have children in a brief title, it may attract the attention of those who can best help you.
Most of us on here, Men included have found that it really helps to talk to others in similar situations, who can understand the pressures we are all under.
I hope you are able to find friendship and support and comfort, in your difficulties. If you have specific questions you need help with, please post them. I'm sure there are many that will try and help.
Love & Hugs x x

Hi Silkstone, Paul

Welcome to the site, but sorry for the reason you need to be here. There are a number of threads already going on Prostate cancer, so if you do a search on Tags using "Prostate" you should be able to locate them. If you find one that you can relate to, I suggest you post a reply on there, and you will come into contact with others in a similar situation. There are a number on here suffering the same thing. You dont actually say where yours ha spread to.

May I suggest you fill in a profile and brief biography and open it to view? This isn't compulsory, but it may mean more people will respond to you, and it may save you keep answering questions and repeating yourself, if people can view your profile. Have a look at others to get the idea. It can be long or short, its up to you.
There are some great people on here, the majority are very helpful, friendly and supportive, and I hope you will be able to find friends & comfort. It really does help to talk to others.
Its very understandable, that you are feeling down at the moment. Who wouldn't? However there is such a great spirit on here, and so many people with a fantastic sense of humour, I am sure you will soon be feeling better.
Love & Hugs x x

Hi J (lilyofthevalley)

(Sorry your profile isn't open so dont know your name)
Very glad to hear that your dad is more cheerful, and that there is at least the possiblity of him getting home. Have you talked to the Mac nurse about the care package you will need in order to look after him? Very often they can get you nursing care, if neccessary. Things like a hospital bed, commode, laundry, oxygen etc whatever is neccessary for him to be comfortable at home, and for you to be able to manage. Just be sure it is all in place before he gets home.
Keep posting on here, if you find it helps. Its good to talk to others in similar situations. Try searching through some of the threads to find one you can relate to, or start your own.

Wishing you all the best for you and your dad, and sending ((hugs)) x x

Barb X

Hello to all

This is my first go at this so bear with me. My mum was diagnosed with terminal stage 3b lung cancer at the end of August. She had been ill for some time prior to diagnosis with lots of different niggly things. However since the cancer was confirmed things have got much worse and she has probably only had 3 weeks were she has had any quality time. She has suffered terribly with nausea vomiting pain and dreadful gut wrenching wretching. They tried to give her some chemo but had to stop after one cycle. They then gave her 10 days of radiotherapy which ended up taking nearly 4 weeks to do as she was so poorly and had to stop half way through. She has not really eaten anything for almost 4 weeks and is even struggling with ensure drinks the weight is dropping off her and she is only slim to start with. Her symtoms are currently better controlled and this was achieved by putting her on a syringe driver. She has good medical care via hospice macmillan GP and district nurse teams but as one of her carers am finding this all so difficult to watch. the GP has said he will be very surprised if she makes it to xmas and this has just filled me with such dread and fear. I have a young family and cannot motivate myself to do any of the things i should be doing to prepare for xmas. I am spending every possible moment with her and we all remain positive and attempt to make our time together as good as it can be . My mum however has not talked once about her prognosis in fact she has never once discussed her feelings or thoughts about the cancer and only thinks about what will happen next with regards to treatment. I know they are not likely to do anything else as i have attended every appointment with her and have seen her choose to only hear the bits she wants to hear. I am struggling with this as i have the burden of knowledge and understanding but have to still put a smile on my face and play things the way my mum wants to. I dont know whether i am doing the right thing for her but beleive that every person is entitled to manage their cancer in the way that works best for them. This however is so difficult as there is so much i would like to say and do for her but dont feel able. She is such a brave determined woman and has always taken the attitude throughout her life that you just have to get on with whatever is thrown at you i am just so worried that she bearing this terrible illness in a lonely and frightened way and just wanto do the best for her. I watched my sister in law suffer and die from a brain tumour 3 years ago and feel that i should be better prepared to cope with this but to my regret find that i am not. Any information from anyone in this situation would be appreciated especially if you have experience of lung cancer

Meg

My heart goes out to you. What a very difficult situation you are in. I have no experience of lung cancer I'm afraid. Perhaps if you search on Tags for Lung, you will find someone you can relate to better. You can copy and paste your post as a reply on one of the lung cancer threads, to save you retyping it all.

Do you have anyone at home to share your burden with? I understand that you want to do this the way your mum wants to play it, but do you think it is worth just asking her if there is anything she wants to talk about, in case she does but is afraid to bring up the subject? Its a very difficult one isn't it? I really feel for you in this situation, and its terrible that you already went through this only a few years ago with your sister in law.
I really wish I could offer you some comfort, but feel totally inadequate to do so. You sound as if you are already doing a great job in caring for your mum. I wish it could be easier for you, I wish it wasn't this time of year, I wish I could help you, but wishes are no good, and all I can do is send you love & hugs, and hope you find the strength to get through this awful time. You will be in my thoughts & prayers, as will your mum. x x x