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FormerMember over 16 years ago

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Whether you’re here to talk to others, join a group, ask questions or just listen, everyone is here to offer emotional and practical support to help you with your cancer journey.

We know it can sometimes be confusing when you first arrive, with lots of forums and groups to choose from. So this thread is to welcome you, make friends and help you find your way around the site. Whether you are a patient, family member, friend or a carer, feel free to post any thoughts or questions here and other Share users will be happy to help you navigate around the site and find what you are looking for.

FormerMember over 16 years ago

Hello Meg, I have read your post and Henrietta's lovely reply to you. I just do not know what to suggest to you in your situation but I can tell you that my dear Mum died of lung cancer six months ago. When Mum's GP told us Mum had weeks to live rather than months, we felt the way you do now - we could not bear the thought of it. But Mum did die just 17 days after her GP said that.Thankfully, she died peacefully in her sleep. I really hope your Mum will still be with you at Christmas, but sadly that is something none of us can predict. Like you, we played things the way Mum wanted us to in every way we could. Sometimes she said, " I need quiet now" and we sat with her in silence, sometimes for several hours.I am sure that the love and companionship you are giving your Mum means the whole world to her.
My thoughts are with you, your Mum and your family at this distressing time.
love and prayers
Christine

FormerMember over 16 years ago

Yecart

I am so sorry for the situation you are in here. Alzheimers disease is difficult to deal with on its own, and so is cancer, but the combination of the two is horrendous. You have oviously had a very stressful time, and many heartaches in your life and my heart goes out to you. You also seem to have suffered with communication problems with the health service to top it all.

I think you will find it helpful to talk to others on here, who understand some of what you are coping with. I suggest you first of all copy and past your message into your profile. (you will my find Profile in blue on lefthand side of page) If you then open your profile to view, people will see all that info without you having to keep answering questions or repeating yourself. That isn't compulsory of course, but it may help in the long run.
Do you have any other family members or close friends who can help. An Aunt or Uncle perhaps?
Also have a look at the Get Support tab at the top of this page, which may help with more information.
You have my sincere sympathy in all this, but that isn't a lot of use, when you need practical help. I do hope you manage to get your dad in the cancer care hospital that you want. If not, is there a local hospice he can get in?

I hope you have now established good links with the hospital, so they have all your phone numbers etc and know to inform you of any change in your dad's condition. Has he been assigned a Macmillan nurse yet? Why would you have to travel to a centre? I understand them not coming to see him if he is not in pain, but surely they can still come out and see you and go through his care plan with you.
I hope you get some real, practical help and quickly
Love & Hugs x x

FormerMember over 16 years ago

HenriettaB

Many thanks for your reply and suggestions. I've opened my profile and added a biography. I'll search for other people in a similar state and hope that a problem shared is a problem halved.

Paul

FormerMember over 16 years ago

Just thought I'd introduce myself. I'm Joanne and I lost my mum to cancer of the gullet on 6th November. Despite myself and my kids having bereavement counselling whilst my mum was poorly its a whole different "ball game" since we lost my mum. I know its perfectly normal to feel a mixture of emotions but I dont feel I'm coping very well at the moment. My kids are brilliant, my little rocks! I just feel that other members of my family have "abandoned me" since my mum's funeral last Monday. My family are all going through the grieving process I know but they havent included me in a lot of things, which makes me feel its because I have a step father, 2 half brothers and I'm now the black sheep! I really do feel like Im going through this on my own. If anyone out there can tell me to pull myself together it would be much appreciated! Take care all x x x

FormerMember over 16 years ago

Joanne , love you cant pull yourself together, we are what we are and this feels just awful

stop beating yourself up, I promise on this site you can be what you are and feel

from one bereaved daughter, to another

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

FormerMember over 15 years ago

hi all,
don't know where to start, i am looking after my aunt 85 y o . with bowel cancer , just lost my 1st cousen with the same. i am a man of 61 and it has come a a shock to see how quick , people deterate .
duncan

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hi Duncan,

Have answered you somewhere else, but now can't find it!! Think it was on another thread. Please feel free to post on Carers group, as I have accepted you.

Hugs Barb x

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hello everyone I am new to this forum and I am not familiar with computor speak please forgive an errors I hope to improve with time.my husband has only six weeks ago been diagnosed with mesothelioma he is 64yrs. to say it has not hit us yet is an understatement. We have excellant support from our GP`s and hospital staff . We are awaiting results from a VAT`s procedure to determind the cell type so we can find out which type of cheamo he will need, also we will the be told a prognisis. Is it normal to feel as if we are looking through a window as if this is all happening to someone else? We are very concerned about our gorgous grandchildren as they are devoted to their grandad and how they will understand this news.Their ages are five, seven, and eleven. Everything so far has been done at break neck speed regarding c.t. scans etc. he had 4 litres of fluid drained off his lung 2days after being to the 1st hospital app. We both try to stay optomistic and find something to laugh about every day. I spent many hours on the internet whilst my husband was in hospital this last week reading all your sad although inspiring letters, I feel as if I have found somewhere I can share with other people going through the same thing. My thoughts are with each one of you.

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hello LizBrad
sorry you are here but welcome anyway.
Yes it is very normal to have the feelings you mention, I dare say as time passes there will be even more emotional challenges.
When my husband was 1st diagnosed I was so very angry,then I went into denial, followed by such strong feelings of dread and panic. I am now a lot calmer and apart from heartbreaking sadness I am doing ok.
I have found so much love and support here, it's a truly marvelous place full of good caring people and through talking about our problems we help each other along this dark bumpy road.

Keep the laughter if you can,it's a positive emotion and very powerful

Thinking of you
Allyson x

FormerMember over 15 years ago

hi,im new too.here goes....(ill apologise now for any future ramblings)
mum had a lumpectomy and radiotherapy 10 years ago,partner had a testicle removed 3 years ago and had one dose of chemo.3 months ago we got engaged,3 days later he was told the cancer was back but this time in a lymph node beside his liver.he had a picc line inserted but thats given him blood clots so now he has to get daily injections in his stomach.hes in hospital just now for 5 days for whats supposed to be the last bout of bep chemo.he just phoned me in tears because his veins have collapsed again and hes like a human pincushion.theyve been trying to get a vein for 2 hours now as hes mid chemo and they have to give him more saline.obviously another picc lines out of the question as theyre scared of more blood clots.hes had just about every side effect there is and its not getting any better.so looks like im up all night waiting to see whats happening.im sick with worry.also my mums just had another lumpectomy.shes to get chemo,radiotherapy and herceptin.her first chemo starts next week and the whole things going to take 18 months.we're going wig shopping tomorrow before visiting my fiance.im finding it very hard to be normal.im 28,i dont work as i suffer from clinical depression and an underactive thyroid and i feel completely useless.im so tired i cant function but i have to be there for both of them as i dont have a job therefore i have free time to do stuff like that apparently.my house is a mess,im a mess and i have no idea what i should be doing.
ok moan over... :o)

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