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Hi Harry

Thanks so much for that kind message. For the first time in this situation it was really nice to be heard, so much so it made me feel like crying!!!!!
Thanks for the information link too,it is up and working.
Nat.xx

Hello - another newbie!

A good friend of mine told me of your site - and I'm so glad she did as right now I don't feel like I could talk to anyone without going to pieces. My mum, who even at 75 is my absolute rock, has recently been diagnosed with secondary liver cancer - the primary being in her bowel. She's spent the last 35 years fighting an illness called Lupus (or SLE) & has put up such a huge fight and now this has hit her. I've watched her over the years deal with osteoporosis due to the high level of steroids she's had to take, complete immune system failure due to the lupus, and so much more & yet she's dealt with it all with such grit determination. But now she's lost her fight as she knows there is nothing that can be done anymore. She's the most inspirational person I know & it's horrible for her to see herself gradually fading away. Even now all she's worrying about is my dad - making sure that he'll be ok when she's gone, and sorting out her business affairs so that myself & my brother wont have to sort them out in her absence. We've never been a very demonstrative family but I so want to tell my mum how much I love her & thank her for what she has given me & taught me over the years, but it's just not something that I'd ever be able to do as she shies away from "that sort of thing". I just want her to know that I love her so much & will miss her beyond belief when she's gone but I don't know how.

Hello, Ruth and welcome to this supportive site, though of course we are all so very sorry you have need of it, and sorry about your loved Mum, what a long illness she has had over the years. If you would find it all too much to say how very much you love her and will miss her, how about writing her a letter, and giving it to her together with some flowers that you know she'll love? i sometimes think a hand written note is just so sweet and thoughtful, and she will always be able to read it over and over again, in privacy. do keep posting, a ((((((((((hug)))))))) specially for you.....

Lisa, welcome to you too, you must still be reeling from the shock, our Mums have been there for us all our lives and somehow we expect them always to be there, too, even though we know that probably won't be so!

Just be there for your Mum, tell her how much you love her, as you are so young, not sure if you yourself are married, have a partner, or have a family, but think about starting a memory box with her help, for the next generation to open and read her memories, and see photos and special trinkets or keepsakes.

love and a(((((((hug))))))) for you too, keep posting and allow the help that this site is good at......

hi harry x
thanks so much for your advise, and yes it is devastating 2know that my mum cant be cured from this disease...
since i last posted emotions have reached fever pitch and being the eldest of four daughters i have been trying to keep everyone informed and under control but it is hard...very hard...at one point i even requested a meeting with mums oncologist but cancelled at the very very last minute...Am i really ready for hearing statistics that come as guildelines that may or maynot even happen...????

As a family my sisters and i have decided to wait until the results of mums scan on 29th may to ask all the questions tumbling about our heads and cross each bridge as it comes.The sad thing though is that mum thinks that once the cancer is reduced..(and i have to be positive that it will!) that it may never attack again...which we have been told by her lung nurse and macmillan nurse that eventually it will.
Because mum is so positive at the moment, that is what will get her through this treatment, so i have no intentions of telling her sad reality as it may not keep her focused.

she returns tomorrow for another treatment, only tablet form of chemo tomorrow and were told by her lovely nurses at clatterbridge that maybe tomoro's side effects will be a little worse than last week ...have people found this to be true??...and that about two weeks into the treatment (eatser weekend) she may be feeling at her lowest...
but she is tough cookie, and wont be going anywhere without a fight!!
xxxx

p.s.
read ur profile harry saw some similiarities...my mum has been going up and down to her g.p. now for the passed 11 months with 'classic signs'...yet an xray came back 'clear' so her gp sed he could do nothing more apart from send her to e.n.t. clinic, chest clinic etc..after fighting tooth and nail for a t.b. test thinking it may be that...the tb doc looked back on mums last xray and saw the shadow right away!!!....on the 'clear' xray...and after investigating it the rest is history so they say...that xray was given last september and nothing was done about it til feb of this year...all i can say is that t.b. test has saved her life x

I'm new, my mum has just been diagnosed with secondary liver cancer, after fighting off breast and skin cancer some years ago.
She started chemo immediately and we're waiting to see how it responds. I'm finding the 'wait and see' bit very testing.

Didn't have this kind of thing when my mum first went through cancer, this would have been very useful back then. Sometimes you can feel very alone and this website reminds you that you aren't alone, and there are others going through the same thing.

Thanks HarryBarb, I'll show my mum the website, good idea xx

Thanks harry xxx

Hi Im new,

My sister has been diagnosed with uncurable cancer which started in her breast and spread to her bones and liver. The tumour on her liver had shrunk dramatically and we thought we had been given a miracle. Yesterday my sister got results that told us it is back in her liver with several other tumours around the big one. I have searched the internet and tried to get more information. My sister starts oral treatment today she was on herceptin but it damaged her heart. My sister is my hero and insperation she lives in Scotland and im in England but go home regularly. Does anyone know about these cancers we have already lost my mum and nephew to cancer the thought of losing my sister is to hard. Sorry for rambling

Heather xx