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Hi there, 4wks ago my mum was diagnosed with nsclc which had spread to the lymphnodes in the central chest, after an mri scan last week we found out the cancer had spread to the spine.now her treatment is of palliative intent rather than radical and she has just started on her 1st course of four chemotherapy sessions with a review after 3....who moved the goal-posts on us!..we knew her aim of chemo was to reduce and bring under control...but why not even TRY and cure...just dont get it. after a long discussion with her lung nurse i was told time would NOT be on her side had she not had her cancer discovered! just how serious is this...we are fearing the worse...can this even be reduced...how long b4 it attacks again....how long will she live????????? question question questions...all going around in my head .
whats devastating is that mum has been complaining to her doctor since last march..weight loss, constant cough, feeling unwell...yet he said her xray was clear...in january of this year we fought like mad for her to have a t.b. test thinking as a final option that it could be this...and only then did the tb doctor see the shadow that had been on her chest xray since the september before-that had come back clear!!!....and the rest is history...any comments, advise....???

Hello. My wife has been in hospital for the last few months as she has a brain tumour in an inoperable poition which has spread (seeded) down her spine. After some treatment it has been decided that all she will receive now is palliative care but, due to her nursing needs, we can't arrange for her to come home for the remaining time that she has.
Almost without exception the medical staff at the various hospitals have been great.
Her tumour is an ependymoma.

Hi, I am totally new to this site, therefore I apologise in advance if the type of advice I am looking for has been posted before. My friend has been diagnosed with cancer for the 2nd time. She had skin cancer originally and now it has travelled and was in her lymph nodes. She is currently undergoing chemo She is 31 and I am 29. We don't live near each other. The problem is that I am currently finishing my degree and after this plan on moving away abroad to teach. This causes a number of problems. As a student, I don't have money to do things, like go away for weekends or take holidays and any money I have this Summer I was trying to keep to fly out to interviews or leave at impromtu notice; these are the realtiites of this kind of job, I have never had a career before I am finally looking forward to doing something that I have worked hard for. All of these expenses will have to be put on my credit card as I have no money. We (my friends) are trying to organise a weekend when we can all get together, I have offered dates that I am free. However, to cut a very long story short, I am being made to feel guilty that I cannot cram my degree work into weekday evenings (which I do) and make myself free on the weekends (I work the days I am not in uni and the weekends I study for 12 hours each day). My friend is obviously very emotional, and undersatndably so and I have apologised a million times for having to do my degree and have explained that if it was a short course I would give it up, but I have been studying for it for the past 10 years and to be honest, feel angry that I am almost being asked to compromise on it; not only by my friend, but by other friends too. By not compromising on my degree and my forthcoming job, I feel I am being questioned about the sincerity of my friendship.

I consider myself to be a good friend. I have take time off uni and work to stay with my friend and assist her when she has come home from hospital. I am the friend she calls when she is lonely and cries down the phone. I don't do this begrudgingly, I do it because I want to, but I just wish that a moments notice could be taken of where I currently am.

I feel angry at the entire situation, the cancer, the guilt and now the arguing that appears to be going on amongst my group of friends and I feel like I am being made a kind of scapegoat. That I am apparently being selfish as I need to do my degree and sort my job. Nobody else seems to be selfish when they've been going on holidays or busy with work.

I do not even know if this email makes sense, as there are three million things going around in my head and I feel like just changing my name and phone number and cutting myself off from it all. Of course I am not going to be that selfish. I am just finding it difficult to cope with it all. I am sorry for sounding angry. I saw the Macmillan advert on TV this morning and just hoped that someone might understand.

Padster

I am terribly sorry to hear about your wife's illness, made even worse for you no doubt because she can't come home. There are several threads on Brain tumours if you look through the General Board, or you can click on tags at side and search for Brain. The two most popular are "we talk brain tumours" and Glioblastoma, Why why why?
They are both extremely long, so no chance of reading right through, but go to end then Post reply with your message and I am sure someone will be along to talk to you very soon
Love HarryBarb x

Hi Nat

Unfortunately somtimes you can never do enough. You have been a very good friend and I dont think you should feel anyway guilty. harrybarb is right, send her a card and explain how you feel, I wish you good luck, friends like you are very hard to find.

I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in September 2007 and our son contacted my sister, who I had not seen for 14 years, rang me after our son sent her an email. She is in Australia and it was lovely to speak to her after so lon. I rang her every week, she never rang me. Well twelve months on and I have left several messages on her answerphone and she has never replied. This was in December 2008 and here we are in March, so she has made it plain she wants no more to do with me. I dont know what I have done!

So called friends tend to think that after a year, well your still here so you must be ok.

I have been very lucky to have such fantastic husband, he has been there every step of the way with me. Even our sons and daughter in laws dont visit the way they did and we hardly see them. I know everyone has a busy life, but when you are first diagnosed with any Cancer, do people think you are not going to get over it and die and so make their peace with you.

Sorry for the rant, but it does get you mad at times.

Many many are true survivors as we all know.

God bless you you really deserve to get on in life.

Best wishes

Carol xxx

Hi Everybody,

I hope I am using the forum correctly.....sorry if not.

I dont really want to go into my story too much yet but (in a nutshell) last week my mum found out she had a brain tumor and as a consequence of further tests the doctors found cancer in her liver and kidney as well. It came from nowhere.

I have very little family and have never dealt with anything like this before. I am in my late twenties and feel like an insignificant child again and have no idea where to turn, what to say ir how to deal with it all. More importantly, I have no idea how to hold it all together and "stay strong" for my lovely, wonderful mum - the one who is really in pain.

Everone in my life either doesnt know what to say or has everything to say and to be honest, all i feel is empty. At the moment, my mind is allowing me to think positively and NOT cry. But every now and then it is like an imaginary person hits me over the head with a plank of wood and says "Your mums got cancer" and I fall apart again.

I suppose it is just nice to put the way I am feeling into words. If anyone has any advice on how to move on from the inital shock and "keep it together" I would be so greatful.

Wishing you all a lovely evening and thank you for reading.