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FormerMember over 16 years ago

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Whether you’re here to talk to others, join a group, ask questions or just listen, everyone is here to offer emotional and practical support to help you with your cancer journey.

We know it can sometimes be confusing when you first arrive, with lots of forums and groups to choose from. So this thread is to welcome you, make friends and help you find your way around the site. Whether you are a patient, family member, friend or a carer, feel free to post any thoughts or questions here and other Share users will be happy to help you navigate around the site and find what you are looking for.

FormerMember over 16 years ago

Hi I am actually living in Cyprus and there is not much support for cancer patients or families here so your site is a great help to me
my mum was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer 5 months ago she has just finished her course of chemo and we have had had good results the tumour has shrunk by 70 %. the doctors cant give her any more chemo so we have to hope for he best now and surgery is also not possible. She also has cancer in the kidney which can be removed. this is just so hard on me as an only child my mum means the world to me and also to her only grandson she has always been there for us and i cant bear to think of life without her i just cant be strong for my dad and son its always been my mum. why her she was so healthy never smoked. It feels as if I am living for the day when she will pass away maybe its my way of trying to cope with this and I feel just so depressed that I want to just enjoy watever time I have left with her however long that may be but these thoughts stop me. It has been 5 months since I saw her she is returning to Cyprus from UK next week and I am so scared of seeing her first to see her so weak bald and in pain I just dont know how to cope.
I will be grateful for any help or suggestions

FormerMember over 16 years ago

dear maria-geo, im so sorry to hear about your mum, i know its hard, but just try to be there for your mum, make the most of her visit to you,just take each step as it comes. theres nothing more you can do. stay positive and try to stay strong, jackie xx my best wishes to all your family. hugs xxx

FormerMember over 16 years ago

nice to know there is support

FormerMember over 16 years ago

Dear Maria-geo, I feel your pain and heart ache, I am in a similar position to you, my mum has stage 4 ovarian cancer, shes had chemo, and its not made no difference, she hasnt lost all her hair, but most of it, mums a young 67, and like you say mums always been there, I don't know how i'm going to cope with losing her,shes in hospital now, the cancer has blocked her bowel, and there's not much more they can do for her.........I cry everyday...and I feel for my 2brothers and my little sister and my dad,,,,,my dad just will not be able to cope!!! and I feel my world will end...be strong I am trying also....enjoy being with your mum and tell her how much you love her and enjoy every minute of your time together...because this is what we are doing.......god bless xx

FormerMember over 16 years ago

Maria,

I feel for you, and am so sorry about your mum. It is great news that the tumour in her lung has shrunk so well. She will now be ready for some warm sun and to be with you again, so give her a big hug and a warm welcome, and if you cry...Dont Worry. She's your mum she will understand that you are worried about her and that you care. Sometimes we have to have that good cry before we can start to be strong. Like you once my husband was diagnosed, I felt like I was just waiting for the end. But you have to get past that, and live for the present. Enjoy every moment you have with your mum, have some good times and make some good memories. Live for Now, not tomorrow. Remember that none of us knows what will happen tomorrow, not even to ourselves. Keep posting it always helps to talk with others in a similar situation, because they understand,
Big Hugs x x

FormerMember over 16 years ago

Bigsis,

I'm sorry that the chemo hasn't worked in your mum's case. Its understandable that you cry because you are grieving already. I was the same with my mum (a very long time ago) Its horrible isn't it? I don't know how old your little sis is, but my youngest sister was 10 when my mum died, and I did worry about her.Your sis will need lots of hugs & reassurance, and company and so will your dad, (although dads dont always admit it!)
Dont forget to look after yourself too and take time out for yourself, you will need it. No-one can be strong all the time, we all need the help and comfort of others. I hope you find coming on site will help you
Big Hugs x x

FormerMember over 16 years ago

thanks for your replies it does help but as i havent talked to any doctors and i dont really trust mum as she may not want to tell me the truth Stage 3b cancer which is advanced and no surgery can be performed does this mean that chemo only prelongs what i think it does does it only buy my mum more time? I need to know what I am facing i have read the statistics and they dont seem good i dont like to think but do I have only months with her?

FormerMember over 16 years ago

Maria,

I am so sorry, but it does appear from your posts that your mum's cancer will not be cureable. How long she has I can't tell you. The oncologist who has treated her is the one you need to speak to, but even he can only give you a rough estimate as everyone reacts differently. Maybe when you see your mum she will be honest with you, but she probably prefers to see you face to face.

Just enjoy what time you have however long or short it is. Live for now, not tomorrow.

Big hugs

FormerMember over 16 years ago

Hi All
I have been referring to this site for some time now and have finally plucked up the courage to sit here and type and cry my eyes out at the same time! My Dad has lung cancer and secondary brain cancer and liver cancer. He has gone through one set of chemo on his lungs but it came back with a vengeance within 3 months of the chemo and radiotherapy finishing. We are waiting for tarcevo to be released to try that to reduce the lung cancer and hopefully sort the liver cancer out too. It has spread to his voice box so he can hardly talk and hardly breathe because of the lung cancer. I live 250 miles away from him and not being able to have a conversation with him is so so hard and upsetting. I am going down to see him next week for a few days and I am so scared that it will be the last time and I just don't know what to say or do. We have been told that if he has no treatment or the tarcevo doesn't work he won't be here by Easter ...
I feel that I have just rambled but I feel like a pressure cooker just about to go off ....
Thank you for reading thisx
Big hugs to everyone else, my thoughts are with you all.

FormerMember over 16 years ago

I found out this afternoon that my Mum has ovarian cancer. Im numb and terrified. Ive been posting messages on the 'coping with loss' site since Sunday (My mistake. Id plucked up the courage to venture on to the site then didnt realise what on earth I was doing). I got back many replies telling me to remain positive and I did try but now I dont know what to do. Dad says she has vowed to fight and will begin chemo next week but he was very vague as to her prognosis. Sunday will be her 61st birthday and I know Im going to fall to pieces. Can anyone offer any help as to what I should expect in the coming weeks. Im terrified and cant imagine what my darling Mum is going through. Please help.

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