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FormerMember over 16 years ago

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Whether you’re here to talk to others, join a group, ask questions or just listen, everyone is here to offer emotional and practical support to help you with your cancer journey.

We know it can sometimes be confusing when you first arrive, with lots of forums and groups to choose from. So this thread is to welcome you, make friends and help you find your way around the site. Whether you are a patient, family member, friend or a carer, feel free to post any thoughts or questions here and other Share users will be happy to help you navigate around the site and find what you are looking for.

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hi Christine,

How true your words are, mum and i are constantly saying one day at a time and we are now down to one hour at a time. Dad is receiving great support and treatment from the hosiptal, the doctors and nurses are truely angels on earth. my son is back at school today they can bounce back so quickly at that age. Thank you again for you support you are helping to maintain my santiy!

god bless and thank you for the hug.
love MarcieX

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hi Jilly sorry to hear about your story, life can and is so unfair at times. Like you I have lost friends through this illness. My father has prostrate cancer for 9yrs now he is one of the lucky ones, he gets injections into his stomach every so many weeks and so far it has kept it at bay. He is 87yrs. My husband was diagnoised with mesothelioma (cancer of the pleura lining of lung) there is no cure at all for this type of cancer only pallitive chemo. Life does indeed suck and is`nt fair. He is 64ys. we have our 8th wedding ann. 24th Jan. We try to stay positive some days I manage to do that some days I don`t. Just take each day as it comes with your treatments and it is good that you can have a reconstruction soon. Anything that makes you feel better is what is right for you. A neighbour i knew a few years ago had the same problem as you had both her breasts removed, chose not to have reconstruction and was happy with that decision, you see her out running every day. She has made a brilliant recovery so it`s all about staying positive. Having said that you are allowed to feel sorry for yourself if you need to, it`s you going through this, none of use knows what it`s like to go through cancer as a patient unless we actually have been through it. We go the journey with our partners, loved ones etc. we see their suffering but do we ever know how it feels from there point of view. I am a great believer in the phrase walking a mile in someone else`s shoes.. Keep posting and you will receive losts of support on this site. even is people don`t reply to you personnaly the encouragement is always in the other posts and you can draw from that. I will request you as a friend so I can keep in touch with you if that is ok. with you. Love lizbrad.

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hello Marcie,
It is so good to hear that your Dad is getting such good support and treatment from the hospital - and that your son has bounced back again after his tummy upset! There are so many ups and downs - I am glad you have had some ups today!
I am sure your Mum and Dad are really thankful that they have such a loving daughter.
God bless
Christine
xx

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hi,
I'm Sam and I'm glad to have found this site. My dad has cancer and I struggle to know how to talk to him about it. He and his wife are ultra positive, which is good I know, but it makes it difficult for me to know what's actually going on. I have mental health issues and I think they both want to protect me, but I am stronger than they think. Dad had his kidney removed three months ago, and they found an aggressive tumour in it, plus an infected lymph node. However, it isn't kidney cancer, but something called transitional carcinoma of the renal pelvis? Think I've got that right. Dad has recovered really well from the operation, but he's due to have his first post op scan this week, and then see the consultant. He's already been told to expect chemo.
I'm afraid that I'm very pessimistic. Mum died of bowel cancer over 20 years ago, when I was in my teens. All I can remember of back then was the endless scans, operations, chemo, followed by all clears, then a relapse months later. I know treatment has probably moved on since then but I just see Dad going through the same and it terrifies me. I don't let him know how scared I am because I want to support him, so forgive me for offloading here instead. He's my only remaining family member, other than my stepmum. I feel at the moment as though we are all putting on cheerful faces and lying to each other. He and his wife acting like cancer is no more than a bout of flu, and me telling them I'm absolutely fine when I'm struggling with my own ongoing mental illness. Obviously I'm not going to inflict that on them at this time. I feel so guilty for having depression when they are fighting cancer.
Sorry to rant on. I'm just dreading the phone call after they see the consultant. I keep imagining the worst.

sam

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hi Sam

Welcome to the site, but sorry for the reason. Having just had a quick read about TCC, it is apparently rarer than renal cell carcinoma and more treatable, so at least that is a bit of good news. Yes I am sure there will be scans, treatment, lots of hospital visits, but it doesn't mean that it follow the same course, or have the same end result as that of your mum. Though I can certainly relate to your feelings and worries. My mum also died of cancer, and as soon as my husband was diagnosed, all the past with my mum came flooding back. I think that is inevitable.
If you are not well yourself, please dont keep silent about it. You also need help and support, and if you dont feel it is the right time to talk about your problems with your dad & stepmum at least make sure you talk to someone. A friend, sibling or professional as the need arises, because this will be a stressful period for you as well. Talk on here by all means. Sometimes just writing things down helps us to get things in perspective and deal with them.

Find a thread you like and join in, request someone as friend, or start a new thread, but keep posting, and do let us know how you all get on.

Love & hugs HarryB x x

FormerMember over 15 years ago

thanks for replying Harry,
Yes, from what I've read on the net, Dad's is quite a rare type of cancer. Fortunately for a man in his seventies he's remarkably fit and active, which should help a lot. I've been reading some of the other threads and already there are so many feelings I can relate to. Writing things down does help a lot. I felt like I'd unburdened myself a bit today.
thanks again.
sam

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hello, very nervouse never used this web support page.I feel devistated my poor dear Mum having had several months of investigations found she has a Tumour in her Lung and the Cancer cells have spread to her Lymph nodes in her chest.Operation is not an option and have told us Chemo would not be suitable for her.Mum has gone off savorary food loves her puddings! and the odd choclate bar! bless her.Feel lost to what to do or expect and to how long I will have her with me. I am encouraging her to go out with friends and I try where ever possible to talk about all the good times we shared together and try to be very positive about the future, but I dont know what lays ahead for us ,want to be prepared to care for her,not sure what to expect. Lavender

moomy over 15 years ago

Hello, Lavender, welcome to this site, you have found a good place for support, but of course it would be better if you didn't need it! I haven't too much knowledge about your mum's cancer, but she is still the same person even if she is unwell, so do try to chat to her as you always did, make good memories for you and your children if you have them, or your future children if you don't.....as you haven't shown a profile i'm not sure.....Is there treatment available for your Mum at all? or is it just palliative? I do hope she has a Macmillan nurse to help, they are there for the whole family so should be able to give you some guidance too. My best wishes...

Moomy

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hi Lavender

And welcome to the site. I think for many of us this is the first time we have used such a forum. Sorry for the reason you need to be here. Has your mum been offered any treatment? If surgery and chemo are not an option, is she having radiotherapy? I know you feel unsure how things will go, but it is difficult to tell you, because everyone reacts differently, and everyone's cancer is different too. As Moomy says, just chat to your mum as you have always done. Take it one day at a time, but try to make the most of that time. Say all the things you want to say, spend as much time together as you can and make some good memories. Have the doctors given you any sort of prognosis?
Use this site, to rant, shout, laugh , cry or ask for advice. Share your fears and worries with others and find support through this difficult time. Remember, a worry shared is a worry halved. A joy shared, is a joy multiplied.
Love HarryB x x

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hi, I'm new!! My mum was diagnosed with breast and ovarian cancer nearly 2 years ago and still undergoing treatment now. Just thought I'd like to talk to some people who were going through similar situations.

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