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Hi, im new to all this and was just hoping for a bit of advise and to talk to people who know what im going through. my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer 2years ago and since then she has battled it moving to her lungs, her bones and finally her brain. the docs have given her 2-9 months. she started off really positively determined it wasnt going to beat her until the end but just recently she has stopped eating and pretty much given up. i come from a biggish family 3 brothers and 1 sister but were not close and i feel like i cant really talk to them much. im the baby of them and they still see me as that. it breaks my heart to see my poor mum like this. im strong for her and promised i would never cry infront of her which i havent but ive found myself putting off going to see her because it scares me so much. just writing this all down has helped me and im sure there are loads of people in the same situation. x

Thanks HenriettaB, It was nice to see a reply on here so soon after I posted it made me feel a little better. My mum was rushed to hospital Monday of last week but thankfully things have calmed down and she should be discharged tomorrow. It has meant that a Mcmillian nurse has finally got involved and she's very sweet and reassuring. Im sure she'll be a great help. It seems that things change on a daily bases. Before mum went into hospital this time she was hobbling around with a zimmer but this hospital stint resulted in her legs becoming paralysed from the nerve damage so her life will be quite different now. We are getting a hospital bed delivered and are going to be having nurses coming in every day to hoist her in and out of bed and help with her care.
I get so sad thinking about how much of my mum's life she has spent either being ill or grieving. She has had serious illnesses in the past starting when I was born when she had Hodgkins disease, so that was her first one on one encounter with cancer. She's also had a brain heamorage, blood clots on her lungs, phneumonia, and a couple of years ago her lungs collapsed for no apparent reason and she was in a coma for a month. We lost Dad aswell and I cant help feeling that life has just been so unfair for her. She is obviously very happy and proud that she got to meet and marry my Dad and have us three children in her life time but I feel the majority of her life has been so hard. She's now got this hanging over her head. I just want to make it the best and happiest I can for her but because it has all happened so quickly I never really know what I can do to make her feel like she's still having some kind of life. Everything is working as it should in her mind so its frustrating for her to not be able to go to work, go out with her friends and just do general normal boring stuff like pop to the shops and than its frustrating for me that I can't do anything to help her do the things she'd like to do. Sometimes she admits to feeling jealous of her friends as they can still do the things she use to do with them and she feels they're moving on without her.

Hi Niffer
ive just read your posts and im so sorry to hear about your dad and your poor mum. my mum has also been diagnosd with terminal cancer and im only 23. its hard when your so young to think of life without your mum isnt it? i have older brothers and sisters and they have had so much more time with my mum than i have (although she often tells me im her secret favourite lol). if you ever want to chat im here. im just as new to this as you but maybe we can help each other xxxxx

Hi All. This is my first time using this site. I've just found out that my lovely, kind Dad has metastatic lung cancer and has a few months. He's a "young" 65 year old and it's all come out of the blue to me and Mum - they were on holiday when he first got ill. It hasn't quite sunk in yet - kind of feels like it's happening in a soap opera or something and it's not real, either that or I believe that they've made a terrible mistake and the Doctors are going to tell us that it's all going to be OK. Anyway, I came on here because I wanted a bit of company and someone to talk to about it - it's some comfort to know that others are going through the same thing.

Dear stepharoo Im sorry that you find yourself here, but welcome to the site, there are lots of people here, that can help you, either with info, or just to comfort you with kind words, you are welcome to read my profile i dont know much about you, How old are you? etc, but if you click on the cancer type tags on the left hand side of the page, you will find others in the same situation that you can chat to. im so sorry, this diease is horrendous, i wish i had a magic wand for everyone, good luck in your search, just by moving around site, you will find all the info hugs jackie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Jackie, thanks for the reply and the hugs. Everyone around me has been so kind, I have a great boyfriend and really supportive friends so I consider myself very lucky but they don't know how i feel, not really, and that's my reason for comng here. About me...I've just turned 30, living with my boyfriend (we're hoping to get married before Dad leaves us) and was so happy with life before this. Now I feel like I've been hit by a bus. We're going over to see Dad today and see how Mum's coping now he's back. I've decided the best thing that I can do is keep my chin up (as much as I can), go and see Dad as often as possible and generally make the next few months as good and as comfortable for him as I can. It just feels very unfair right now. I keep thinking why him? Steph xxx

Dear stepharoo steph, thanks for your reply, you say you want to get married before anything happens with your dad, bring the wedding forward, if you can? it will take your dads mind off things, and yours a little, your dad will feel very proud to give you away, and it will be lovely for all of you, i know how you feel, when were told news like this it is absolutely devastating, and yes its like you have been hit by a bus, my kids are 24,22 and 21, they are coping better now than in the begining, not to say their not upset or affected by it, now because they are, just make the most of everything to do with dad, its very precous, and cannot ever be replaced, my thoughts are with you, at this awful time in your life, im always here if you want to talk, jackie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Another Newbie unfortunately. I live in Brussels and last weekend my wife of just 1 year was admitted to hospital after I took her to A&E on Sunday. The diagnosis on Monday afternoon was leukemia, the further diagnosis on Tuesday was Acute Myeloid leukemia and chemoterapy started on Tuesday evening. We are both stunned with the speed of this. She was working last week and although tired she was pretty much herself and we were looking forward to heading back to the UK for Christmas with freinds and family. Now we are facing weeks of treatment in a foreign hospital..... I am ashamed of my ignorance of the disease and sense of helplessness . This site and the backup site have given me the first ideas of what we are up against but just now it feels like our world has been torn apart and stomped on. This time last year we were on honeymoon..... how things can change !