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FormerMember over 16 years ago

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Whether you’re here to talk to others, join a group, ask questions or just listen, everyone is here to offer emotional and practical support to help you with your cancer journey.

We know it can sometimes be confusing when you first arrive, with lots of forums and groups to choose from. So this thread is to welcome you, make friends and help you find your way around the site. Whether you are a patient, family member, friend or a carer, feel free to post any thoughts or questions here and other Share users will be happy to help you navigate around the site and find what you are looking for.

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hi Fran

Its probably best to stay away from your mum if you have a bad cold. Her immune system will be quite low at the moment. Also if she is being sick, it sounds like they need to work out some meds for her, particularly anti-sickness.

I'm not amazing..really. I'm just another person going through this, but I have had a bit longer than you to get used to it all, and I am considerably older, and have been here before with my mum.

If you really want to know your mum's prognosis, you can make an appointment to see the doc, separately from your mum. I dont know whether that is neccessarily a good thing or not. I find it so much better to just take things one day at a time, and try not to think too far ahead. When my husband was first diagnozed, I looked at everything on the internet, and imagined just about every eventuality and nearly drove myself insane! Now, I have got a grip and try not to think too much about the future or what might happen, because our fears and anxieties are nearly always much worse than the realities. And we end up going through things 100 times instead of once. CraaaaaZZZY!
If you ever talk to Graeme on here you will see he has the right attitude "no worries".
Hope things even out soon and you can get your mum home
Love & hUgs x x HarryB x x

moomy over 15 years ago

Fran, like Harry I have been reading your posts, but as yet haven't replied, but felt that I should. you are going through such a lot, becoming the main carer for both your parents! We think when we are young that as our parents have been there all our lives, that they will always be there, but of course as we grow we realise that cannot be true, and it hurts!

Your Dad sounds as though he has had PD for some time, I know how difficult that can be to manage at home (was an OT before retiring) so with your Mum's cancer too, you have a tough time. Harry is right, your cold will of course be easy for your Mum to catch and hard for her to throw off as her immune system will be weaker.

you have my sympathy, Fran, love and hugs on your journey.....

Moomy

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Thanks Rose, and HenriettaB for the input , have now filled in my profile if you or indeed anyone else is interested. I feel it is a message of hope.

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Read your profile Bazza. It is indeed a message of hope & joy. Its fantastic and only goes to show that the experts are not always right. I read a book recently that said, that sometimes what is left after chemotherapy, or other treatment isn't always a small amount of tumour, but is just scar tissue. Maybe that is what your was. Whatever...its fantastic news!
All the best for the future
Love HarryB x x

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hello, i've just joined today but have been popping on every so often to see what it's all about.
My mum was diagnosed with Ovarian and Bowel cancer in March 07. She underwent a course of chemo but it didn't touch the tumours so they said there was nothing more they could do for her. In October 2007 (1 week after my husband and I returned from honeymoon) the doctors told her she had several weeks to a couple of months to live. Well, she's still with us 14 months later and has been so strong and positive this whole time but over the last few weeks she has become quite ill. She's very weak and can't really get about now. She's got really depressed and says she's frightened. My dad (who has been amazing) and I are there for her and do what we can but i just feel so helpless, i can sit and hold her but i feel i should be doing more.
I'm not really looking forward to Christmas as i know this will be our last with her. She's knows it to which upsets her.
Thanks for reading my post.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

moomy over 15 years ago

Hello, Keeley, I am so sorry you have the need to be here, and that your Mum is so ill. It all seems so unkind as she made such a good start, you must have thought, 'they got it wrong'. I hope she has a Macmillan nurse? I know you say she has all of you, her family, to support, but often someone outside, qualified, can see the right way to help alleviate problems for your Mum, anything like medication if she is depressed, extra gadgets to help in the house, all sorts of things, and will be supportive for you and your Dad too. Keep talking, make good memories together, keep well yourself too, it can be a tough ride! My love and hugs to you, do keep posting, the site is great for support!

Moomy

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hi, Im completely new to this and find the whole idea a little daunting. My Dad passed away 4 years ago and 6 months ago my mum was diagnosed with turminal lung cancer which has spread through her liver, pancreas and her spine paralysing her legs. Alot of people have suggested it might be a good idea to talk to someone but the idea of a councilor seems a bit heavy. The thing is when my Dad passed away I spent most of my time propping up my mum and now that my mum is ill Im doing the same.

I was travelling when my mum was diagnosed and got on a plane the next day to come home and be her full time carer. At 24 I still feel like a kid and although I've tried not to cry infront of anyone (one because I dont want to upset people and two because Im worried If I start I'll never stop) sometimes I feel that this whole thing is just too much. Evevrything just seems so much bigger than I can emotionally deal with. The physical side of caring for mum is ok as I just get on with it but its so scary to think that one day mum will be gone and I will be all on my own. I will have to give up my home and lose my life as I know it.
I do have a brother but he lives an hour away and has just opened a restaurant so is very busy but does come over when he can. I also have a sister but she lives in America.

It would be good to hear from some others who are going through something similar.
x

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Niffer,

I am so sorry to hear of your dad's death and your mum's terminal illness. You are right, you are very young to have to deal with this. I was 23 when my mum died, but my dad was there to do most of the caring, so I really feel for you.

Has your mum been assigned a Macmillan nurse? If not, please ask her GP about it. They can help with so many things, but particularly pain relief and arranging personal care for your mum. She may not need it right now, but she possibly will eventually.

You may find it useful to search the tags (lefthand side of page) for lung cancer, as this can give you threads & post made by people in similar situations, who you can then contact.
It is good to talk to people, especially people who understand the problems you face, so do keep posting. I am sure you will find friendship and support on here, and sometimes simply writing it down and putting it into words can actually help too.
Love & hugs HarryB x x

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Hi Everyone
My sister has a brain tumor and is on a morphine driver being cared for at home. SHe is receiving home care for which she pays, and the District Nurse comes in daily but she has not had any visits from Macmillan nurses. She did receive visits from Ellinor Hospice at Home but these mysteriously stopped. My eldest sister died of cancer at home and she was supported by Macmillan nurses and they were a great help. Does anyone know how I could get in contact with Macmillan nurses and, more importantly whether or not they would come to see hemy sister?
Sorry about typos. My eyes are not too good and this is a very small type face. Best of luck to everyone.
Tony

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Tony - you need to ask your sister's GP about a Macmillan nurse.Would it be possible for you to ask Ellinor Hospice if the visits could be renewed?
I hope you and your sister with find peace and strength at this time.
Christine

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