Andrew, who began this thread, sadly died in September 2008, but his friends wished that his thread remain open in his memory, particularly to promote Andrew's idea of 'dancing away cancer' each Friday at 3pm. Please feel free to post your dance tunes every Friday in his memory.
Macmillan admin
Hello everyone,
this is my topic to start and its a question that has been burning around the back of my mind for the last few days.
I always thought that having a small group of very close friends was enough for anyone, ok you always have work colleagues and other acquaintances but the main group of my friends has remained within a steady little group of five people for nigh on the last twenty years. We have shared almost, if not all, of what life can show you over that period and nothing has every served to tear us very far apart for long.
There have always times when partners/other friends/own family have been more important to us and always been times when we are more important to each other and perhaps have taken some of this for granted and assumed that it will always be thus. I have reached the opinion that I have for certain.
Then you get cancer! Things change I suppose but I have cancer and all of a sudden things are important to me that weren't before and they have an impact on others which were not anticipated.
First I need to say that my friends have been great through this initial part of my illness and there is nothing to say that this position is going to change immediately - rather its me that seems to be changing and not them. I am having doubts about my ability to cope with what is happening to me and what may happen in the immediate future, I am doubting my friends willingness to hear what I have to say when they ask that questions each day "How are you?", I don't want to say "OK thanks" each time when I am not OK,
I want to say "it bloody hurts" and "I don't feel well at all" and "I think its really unfair that I have this disease and you don't" (that one really stings in your head and even if its not at all true, sometimes you can't help yourself thinking it even fleetingly).
Then after that I get guilty about having the disease and having those bad thoughts that seem to go along with it all. I keep thinking that I am asking too much of them now in terms of emotional and physical help and what if their well runs dry later when I need them even more than I do now and they have nothing left to give me. Then I think that that is a really selfish "me, me me" attitude to have and that gets me really down - can you be guilty about a guilty thought which in itself is only a selfish thought about feeling guilty - just how big a knot is that one to unravel.
Anyway before I drive all away completely with this "hymn to the depressed" that brings around the original thought I had;
- can you use up and wear out your friends and family with this thing before you need them most?
Thanks for reading (if you managed to get through the dirge without laughing too much) and any thoughts are appreciated.
Cheers
Andrew
Good morning everyone, I hope your all fine this morning.
Liz........I hope your Gym goes well today. Dont overdo it to quickly, it can be very off putting when you pull a muscle.
Sue. I hear your doing well with your excercises as well...........WELL DONE.
I've lost a few pounds, but unfortunately only because I'm putting food in one end and it is going straight through and out the other end before it has a chance to turn to fat in my body. I'm betting that I gain the weight again once I'm better......which should be soon, as I had my morning porridge half an hour ago, and it hasn't come out yet.......lol. 
Paul has lost one of my 2Gb camera memory cards.......... 
so I'm missing loads of holiday picks. I'll have to post some that Paul took........His are probably better than mine anyway as he has a better camera, and is a better photographer than me
Yesterday was spent doing bits of tidying and washing, so today has to be loads of ironing. If I get it all done I'll be very pleased with myself...............I'm very easily pleased.....ROLF.
I hope everyones day goes well.
Love
Christine
Hi there,
Liz is training for the 2012 Olympics............... 
.
Spent all day on the net researching the advantages and disadvantages of having Zoledronate treatment, this a once a year infusion of a
zoledronic acid, a type of bisphosphonate which is supposed to help repair bones and prevent further lose of calcium in Oesteoporosis.
My GP wants me to have this. After much thought I have decided that the side effects are to dibilitating and would probably lower my quaulity of life so I have just phoned my GP and said "NO". I will wait for 6 months to a year and try some herbal and excercise solutions.....and a lot of mind over matter, which always helps, and then have another bone scan to see what is happening. (Assuming I'm still here in a year). When I asked my GP what the outcome would be if I did'nt have his treatment, he said I stand a 15% chance of a serious break to the spine within 10 year............................10 YEARS..............WHAT A LAUGH!. It doesn't take a genius to work out that those odds are excellent as far as I'm concerned.
Whoops sorry, I think this is turning into a bit of a nag. I've got to see my oncologist tomorrow morning but then I might also go and see my Chinese medical centre and see what they suggest.
Hope you all have a good evening.
Christine
x
