hi susan and amanda, been having problems posting on the other post so thought i would carry on here and see if it works!! how has your weekend been? susan do things feel a little easier for you this year or not really? i feel so sorry for you having all those people around you last year when i bet all you wanted to do was run didnt you? its awful with christmas coming isnt it i even go shopping online as to not have to go shopping with all the xmas things about. i feel so selfish and bitter at the moment and dont want to, i can hear my mum saying come on karen dont be like that but its hard isnt it. i feel so lonely tonight i just want to talk and have a cuddle and a kiss with my mum, sometimes it really hits even harder doesnt it? speak to you both soon, and hope you are bearing up. we all need each other dont we? my love and thoughts are with you love karen xxxxx
hope you are ok today after what happened yesterday, it must have made you feel awful, a few months ago my sister laid a little cherub on my nan and grandads grave, when she went back up again someone had stolen it, she was so upset, how can people be so nasty?,
anyway did you go out for your meal with your friends? i suppose you are getting ready for work tomorrow, hope you have a good day, speak very soon, lots of love and hugs karen xxx
How has your weekend been? Good I hope. I see one of my work colleagues (and friend) has sussed out my secret place here. I’ll have to be careful what I say!!! Diane and all the others at work have been so supportive but I don’t really talk any more as I expect they think (just like me!!!!) that I should be “over it” by now. Speaking to you people here is so much easier for me, probably because we’ve all experienced similar situations and can really identify with each other.
I was shocked to hear about your Macmillan nurse. I cannot imagine how awful that was for you all. You have really been through the mill, Susan, haven’t you? Do you think you’ve become a stronger person because of everything you’ve had to cope with? I know having a supportive family, as you have, must have helped but you have done brilliantly, Susan. I continually think of what you’ve been through and I’m sure I would have disintegrated completely. Because my mum was only at home for a fortnight our Mac nurse only came to the house twice. Once Mum went into the hospice I thought that was the last we’d see of her as I presumed it was only Mum she was there for. However, I completely “lost it” one day while visiting Mum and the ward nurse who had taken me under her wing disappeared and arrived back with the Macmillan nurse. I saw her every week after that-first at the hospice and after Mum died she came to the house. She even used to phone my GP to tell him about our meetings. I still really miss her.
I’ve been quite up and down this weekend-don’t know why-but I did go out with my friends and their kids. We had a lovely meal but not much to drink-driving as usual! I still longed for the time to be able to come home to my own secure, familiar surroundings though.(definitely mad!!!) It’s just reinforced that I shouldn’t even contemplate moving house at the moment.
Good old Man U won-well done! They were always my Mum and Dad’s “2nd team”. Mum was continually shouting at the TV. I would love to go there some day just to savour the atmosphere. I think Pittodrie holds around 23,000 and only when Celtic and Rangers play is it anywhere near capacity.
Thanks again for being there, Susan. Although I live at the opposite end of the country from you all, it sometimes feels as if you live round the corner. It’s so good to have you all as friends now.
Take good care of yourself
Lots of love
Louise
xxxx
PS Still can't find the "paste" icons. Can you? I'm just using the right hand mouse button just now.
I’m so pleased you were feeling a bit better yesterday. Not so good today though? I bet you slept on Saturday after all that shopping. Money is what boys of that age like, isn’t it? I don’t think you would have been able to spend all day in the shops here unless you were to visit them many times over!!!
What about counselling this week-are you going, Karen? Mine is fortnightly so I’ll get a break this week. I do have the doctor again though.
Yes I’m getting ready for work again. Do your boys have homework at the weekends or are they kept free? I don’t fancy trying to help a 14 or 16 year old with school work. I think I’ve forgotten everything I learnt at that age!!
I hope your week goes OK. Take Taz out lots of walks!!
Take good care of yourself, Karen. Thinking of you loads and as I said to Susan, thanks so much for being there for me. We’re really becoming good friends now.
I don’t mind you taking a peep at the web site at all, although I know it’s pretty basic and boring. As I said to Susan, I’m learning a lot from doing it and hopefully it will be a bit more exciting soon.
We are about two miles from the sea here and Benji and I go there often. He loves just lying in the water-mad in this weather!! We sometimes go to a beach slightly further along and the dunes there seem to go on for ever-it’s like the desert!! I live on the outskirts of Aberdeen and am two minutes from the countryside. I’m a country girl at heart so it’s good to be able to see some green fields and not only blocks of flats etc.
That was terrible asking for more money for your dad’s plot, wasn’t it? I can see why your mum wanted to be in the garden. I know I’m lucky at being able to spend time at the cemetery and I do “enjoy” going there.
Well, I’d better go and get my preparation done or it will be Monday morning again.
Hope you are OK and having a good weekend. I keep saying it, but what an interesting job you have. What made you decide on a job like that? My one sounds so boring. Would you believe August 15th is a significant date for me too. It was the day I found my mum after she had suffered a stroke. I thought we’d lost her that day too. I called an ambulance and it was about 10 weeks later before cancer was diagnosed. She had less than 10 more weeks after that.
I’m sure you’ll get comfort from going back to the hospice. As I said we only got invited to the carol service but because Mum was in for quite a long time compared to many, they remembered me well. It was good to see everyone again but like you we had to pass Mum’s room and images started flooding back into my mind.
Take care Liz. Speak soon.
Love Louise xxxx
PS I too have a memory box which I ventured to open for the first time last week. There is a cardigan and I can not only smell her perfume on it but I can also just smell "Mum".
My dad a couple of days before he died was very disorientated and he fell.We then had to admit him to a hospice and we did – but we still did not see the Macmillan nurses.They were wonderful at the hospice, I cared for my dad and just being there was just what we all needed as a family.I could not speak highly enough of them.
However, as you, my experience with my mum at the hospital was awfully distressing, her care was less than optimal and I moved in to look after her after she suffered a stroke while having a central venous line inserted for chemotherapy.I am certain the hospital were at fault and then guess what she contracted MRSA and died.Although she had ovarian cancer with secondaries everywhere,the main cause of death on her certificate was MRSA.It was just a nightmare and yet none f my family felt able to take the case further, we agreed that mum had suffered enough and we could not subject her to a post mortem, however, without a doubt her sudden death was attributable to the hospital. It was all so distressing and also so maddening – so the “punch in the hole” would be very familiar!!
I imagine the visit may be both scary and yet reassuring and I think that you taking the photograph of your mum is a great idea – I’m sure they would love to meet your mum when she was not so sick.The thought of going will be quite challenging but I would think that the outcome will be positive – but you’ll need to be strong – especially if you’re going on your own.
Hope thing settle down at work for you this week!Thanks for listening Liz!
I think Chesil beach is about 30 mins away, I live in Hampshire so it is just down the road!My husband is still being cared for by the Marsden, he goes every 3 months and so far so good – but you never know and we can never be complacent.My son is 11 and he has been fantastic, he was very close to my mum and he has missed her very much but he has also shown so much maturity and insight into my loss.He just seems to know when I need that extra hug and he seems to accept that even now I am so easily upset!!
As I said I do not know what I would have done without both I them, we do need people around who will still love us and accept us even when we are mad, unreasonable and really just off the wall!
Yes another week over and back to work tomorrow, how would you say your week has been?I think you are very lucky Jayne to be surrounded by all your mum’s belongings so enjoy everything all around you, I’m sure she’s enjoying watching over you in familiar surroundings.She would be so proud of you.
