my beautiful mum has gone page 2

Hi Jayne
I lost my Mum on August 15th last year. She was given the bad news that her breast cancer had spread to her head on the day after the Tsunami happened.

She had a masectomy in 1985, so had been in the clear til 2000 when she found a small lump in her chest. Then she was given the all clear again but found another lump in 2004 in the back of her head and this time it wouldn't go away. This is when she started to get really sick from all the treatment and we fought it for 2 years.

It spread to her spine, hips, liver, femur, which she broke  (thats another story to tell you all one day)! and eventually her brain. She got an infection in one of her many admissions into hospital (septiciemia?) perhaps from all the chemo, in August 06 and just couldn't fight anymore. I would have done anything to prevent all of the things my mum went through, given my right arm, leg, whatever! But through it all she was smiling, (she only cried once for a few seconds), saying don't worry about me and 'I can't really complain' !!! The priest at her funeral said that my mum had 'taught us how to die', I'm so proud of her.

It sounds lovely that ceremony you had at the hospice, very moving the way you described it.

Yes, I'm often set off crying when I find something of mums, I have a large box of her things in my bedroom. I have a lovely blue jumper of hers and I can still smell her perfume on it.

Anyway take care Jane, I hope it's a good week ahead for you. I have to pop into the church again in the morning because the fire alarm keeps going off - it's never ending! I'm about 40 mins away by tube, so not too bad.

Love from Liz xx

Hi Susan,

How near are you to Chesil Beach?  I’m a long way from there (Northampton).  We go about 3 times a year, our first hol this year is the last week in April, can't wait.  But yes, you bring the bread and cheese and we’ll have a ‘bit of a do’. 

I’m so glad your husband is doing well.  How often does he have to have check ups?  It must be on both his and your minds a lot?  How old is your son?  It sounds as though they keep you from getting too down, that’s good.  My husband is good too, he never gets down or angry about anything.  (except when his team lose).  I don’t know what I would have done without him this last year. 

Well, its Sunday again, the weeks come and go too quick don’t they.  I’m still sitting about doing nothing.  I think when I do get a job its going to be a real shock to the system!   Actually I haven’t checked my lottery yet, so fingers crossed, I might not need to go back to work. 

Speak later.  Love Jayne x  

Morning Liz,

Thanks for telling me about your lovely Mum, she was so brave and went through so much.  It must have been awful to be given the all clear twice and then have it all taken away from you.  My Mum only cried once as well, and like yours, it wasn’t for long.  How can they be so brave when the world around you is falling apart watching them go through these terrible things.  August 15^th is a very bad date, it was August 15^th 2005 that my Mum was diagnosed.  Its all gone by so fast, it just feels like last year. 

I have lots of mums things too, although its probably easier for me because I've left a lot of her things untouched.  Her ornaments are still on the shelf, just as she liked them and I have some of her jumpers (which I wear).  I still have her wash bag in the bedroom from when we bought it home from the hospice.  I have emptied it over and over again, but all I do is sit and stare at it, then put it all back again!  A lot of the things in the kitchen and bathroom are just as she left them too.  I’m still using her shower and bath stuff that was in the cabinet and also her perfume and face creams.  She had beautiful skin.  I feel like she's everywhere, all around me, its lovely.

 

So you’re at work again?  What is wrong with the blummin fire alarm?  You sound so in control, its great.  Have a good day, speak soon.  Love Jayne x