hi susan and amanda, been having problems posting on the other post so thought i would carry on here and see if it works!! how has your weekend been? susan do things feel a little easier for you this year or not really? i feel so sorry for you having all those people around you last year when i bet all you wanted to do was run didnt you? its awful with christmas coming isnt it i even go shopping online as to not have to go shopping with all the xmas things about. i feel so selfish and bitter at the moment and dont want to, i can hear my mum saying come on karen dont be like that but its hard isnt it. i feel so lonely tonight i just want to talk and have a cuddle and a kiss with my mum, sometimes it really hits even harder doesnt it? speak to you both soon, and hope you are bearing up. we all need each other dont we? my love and thoughts are with you love karen xxxxx
hi susan, louise, amanda, alex, jayne, liz and joy (sorry if i have forgotten anyone)
hope you are all doing ok, and having a good week, well as good as possible! sorry i am being lazy and writing one message, will write individually soon.
my counselling was supposed to be on tuesday but i cancelled, it was just one of those days and i didnt feel like going, never mind i will go next week.
hope work has been ok susan and louise, and that your son and hubby are ok susan.
great to hear from you again amanda and hope all is well with your children and hubby.
alex hope you are feeling a bit better, and little alex is ok.
liz and jayne hope all is well with you both.
joy i am sorry to hear about your mum i am thinking about you.
i started weightwatchers 2 weeks ago, so at least have started to do something again even though its only going there, i have lost 6 Ib in 2 weeks so at least its working. have just taken my dog for a nice walk so at least have been getting out a bit, i sound rediculous saying all these little things i am doing but for me its quite good as since mum passed away havent done anything really.
i do hope you are all having a not too bad week, and think of you all loads, i dont know where id be if i didnt have you all here, even though i havent been on for a few days, sometimes your just in a world of your own arent you?
will go now the boys have just come in from school, look forward to speaking to you all soon, take care, lots of love and hugs karen xxxxxxxx
You must have been exhausted yesterday, you really do need to look after yourself on these days, not eating and getting cold – now I’m sure your mum would have something to say about that!!
It sounds as if it was a good idea to take the pictures in, perhaps then to the counsellor, it all became so much more real, when she could actually see the people involved. You must have been very touched by her reaction and how reassuring for you to see that your situation can have that affect on someone. If it can have that affect on a relative stranger then it’s not difficult to see how much that will have impacted on your life and your whole persona.
I need to think about the second year and come back to that.Funnily enough I was talking to my sister and she was saying that even now she always says our mum died last year – I also do that. I think that is to do with how recent it still is. In some ways, having been through the first year there is not the same trepidation and anxiety about how to cope with the anniversaries but there is still the sadness. I’ll come back to this though when I’ve had a think!
I’m pleased that the session seemed to go well and that she has reinforced that you’re making good progress – hopefully you can keep building on that!
Hope you had a good day and your evening goes well, keep snug!
Good to see you!I was wondering if you have any little bulbs peeping up in the garden?
Now back to your message, hey, no need to feel “ashamed” at not coming back, goodness you had far more important things to tend you and your mum needed you.I think the site is here for people as and when they need it and for me one of the greatest things about it, is the flexibility it offers. We can come when and if we choose and again if sometimes we just want to read and reflect that’s great and at other times we can respond and chat. It’s so less “formal” than a counselling session, no pre-nerves or worries and no need to feel anxious as you really are among friends. I too considered counselling last year (my husband and friends suggested it) and then I found the site (thanks Mum!!) and I have been feeling so much better.I do think that I am able to express my own feelings with others who I feel do have an understanding and insight and it’s very good for the soul!
Your GP sounds a gem!A real one-off, you’re very lucky to have him and he does sound as if he appreciates how losing your mum has been for you – has he known your family long?
As for the job, I’m sure that when the time is right for you, you’ll know and until then I would just accept that this is the right thing for you to be doing. Your job now is to nurture yourself and your husband and that certainly is not a “useless endeavour” – in fact it sounds very appealing!
Hope to see you soon and let me know about the garden!
How are you feeling?Not quite so good this week? Actually I don’t think you should feel as if you need to go to counseling and I agree that if you don’t feel like going then stay home! That’s the good thing about coming here, you can come when and if you feel like it and you know that someone will always be around to listen. I know what you mean about thinking about everyone, I often sit just wondering what you’re up to, it’s comforting to know that we are all thinking about each other – hope these positive thoughts get transmitted!!
Hey what good news abut your weight loss, you must be delighted 6lb in 2 weeks, that really is a great achievement. That does demonstrate that you are getting out and about meeting new people and still putting yourself up for challenges!It is all progress Karen and you are right in recognizing that these are all so positive - actually they’re not small things either! It’s all so hard is’nt it Karen, but your mum and dad will be so proud of you.
Great to hear from you. I love getting your messages. I do feel that sometimes I’m relying too heavily on you for support now, just as I did with the Macmillan nurse. Hope you’re going to be around for a while yet!!!!
How’s your day been? Do work longer some days than others, Susan? It’s Burns Day today and so I bought Irn Bru and shortbread as a treat for my wee ones. I didn’t think haggis would go down too well!! They then had great fun dancing around to some Scottish music. I expect by tomorrow they’ll have forgotten whom Robert Burns was-never mind it was good to see them enjoying themselves.
I’m hoping that I’ll feel the same as you during this second year. I’m sure, as you say, it must be easier, knowing what to expect and that you will get through it. It’s actually over two years since my dad died but I know now that I didn’t deal with his death at all (just blanked everything out) and the 2nd anniversary of his death felt like the first to me. Like you, I just didn’t know what to do with myself and was so emotional whereas the 1st one passed me by in a haze. It was also his birthday the day after so everything was very strange. To me it has felt as if I lost both my parents on the same day. The mind plays funny tricks doesn’t it?
I have made another appointment for counselling but as we keep saying, being here amongst friends is just as good-in fact better. If it hadn’t been that my GP had arranged it all I’m not sure if I’d still be there. Hopefully there will be some long- term gain though.
I’m just sitting here listening to James Morrison yet again while trying to work. We have plans to be handed in for Monday. Mine are usually in long before the given date but at the rate I’m going I’ll be lucky to have them finished for Monday-a busy weekend ahead I fear!!
Hope everything’s well with you and your family, Susan.
Speak soon
Love Louise xxx
PS Have you pressed the submit button twice???
PPS Have the "paste" icons disappeared here? I wrote this in Word first and have had dificulty pasting it.
How are you doing? I totally agree with Susan, you were right not to go to counselling if you didn’t feel like it. It’s such a draining experience sometimes that you may have made yourself feel worse by going. As you say-maybe next week.
And can I say a big well done too- xxxx- you’ve lost a lot haven’t you? My sister in law has tried all these clubs but nothing seems to work for her. You’re making a real effort to get out and about Karen. Apart from going back and forth to work, I’m not doing very much – For some reason I don’t really want to just now. I am going out for a meal with friends and their families this weekend so hopefully when the time comes, I’ll be able to go and enjoy myself.
How are you today? I have been thinking of you in that garden hacking that big bush down. Do you enjoy gardening, Jayne? I have a little garden but I do enjoy looking after it. It wasn’t until my dad died that I realised how much he had taught me. He had a big greenhouse and a huge polytunnel in the back garden. In the spring all his plants used to come outside to “harden off” and poor Mum could hardly put her washing out some days-I’m talking about 5000 summer bedding plants.
Your doctor sounds lovely. Mine is too and he also looked after my mum so he has a real understanding of what we’ve been through. I hadn’t been to a doctor in years but have seen him every 2-3 weeks for over a year now and have to go back next week.
thanks for your reply, hope your ok. i dont know how i feel really which is strange, one minute your up then your down arent you? how do you feel susan as its still early days for you too isnt it? you just have to try and carry on as best you can for your family dont you?
your positive thoughts definately do come through to us, you have such a lovely way with words. your mum and dad will be so proud of you too.
hope you have a relaxing evening and a good day at work tomorrow.
