hi susan and amanda, been having problems posting on the other post so thought i would carry on here and see if it works!! how has your weekend been? susan do things feel a little easier for you this year or not really? i feel so sorry for you having all those people around you last year when i bet all you wanted to do was run didnt you? its awful with christmas coming isnt it i even go shopping online as to not have to go shopping with all the xmas things about. i feel so selfish and bitter at the moment and dont want to, i can hear my mum saying come on karen dont be like that but its hard isnt it. i feel so lonely tonight i just want to talk and have a cuddle and a kiss with my mum, sometimes it really hits even harder doesnt it? speak to you both soon, and hope you are bearing up. we all need each other dont we? my love and thoughts are with you love karen xxxxx
Just wanted to send you a quick message to apologise for sounding so full of self-pity last night. I did know about your husband’s illness but after reading your message this morning, I realise just how much you have gone through. How on earth did you cope? I’ve sobbed my heart out whilst walking the dog this morning and wished so much that I had your strength. I haven’t had half as much to cope with as you. I know I come across as feeling sorry for myself sometimes but I’m not. All I want is to be able to get back on an even keel again and be able to look to the future. I know it will happen but as I keep saying, it’s just taking me so long and I get so frustrated with myself. I miss them so much still.
I can’t believe I’ve met another football crazy woman. They’re few and far between. I’ll sit engrossed in any game. I deliberately didn’t get Sky TV as I would never be off the sports channel. I had a season ticket for Aberdeen for years and went to games with my dad. That was our time together. They are a very second rate team but do occasionally beat Celtic and Rangers. I still enjoyed the atmosphere there though. I couldn’t face renewing my ticket after he died so my brother and his father in law have taken over our seats. I do go on the odd occasion when my brother is working and I may just renew my ticket next season. At the moment I prefer watching the English Premiership games.
How is the weather with you today? I’ve been watching GMTV and it sounds horrendous. It is frosty here today but very calm. Maybe it’s heading our way.
Thought I’d just stop by while I have my lunch! Gosh you were up and about early and yes you’re right the weather down here in the South is awful – not cold just windy and miserable.
I feel I must apologise for my message, I did want to upset you, I wanted to say that even with all the things that have happened to my family, I still do not always make the most of each day. I know that we’re lucky now that my husband is well and I know I should be grateful, but even so it’s very hard. During his illness I was always able to talk to my mum and she was a great support, all of those times made us even closer.
Goodness Louise, you have also been through a great deal and I have never thought your messages full of self-pity at all. I think you are doing your very best and I cannot imagine how difficult t must be to live on your own, especially when you were so close to your parents. I have been so fortunate to have my son, who has been a godsend throughout it all; as he is growing up he is the one who just seems to know when a hug is needed or a special word. He was very close to mum and they were the best of friends but he reminds me often how sick she was and how much she only wanted to be with granddad.
Please try to be patient with yourself, there will be no sudden improvement in the way you feel, it’s a much more gradual process and I don’t know what can make it quicker or easier – other than time and the knowledge that step by step you’re getting there and you will!
Now as for football!My parents were members of Man Utd and we all used to go to Old Trafford to watch them play. Since they died I have not been able to fact that and have let our membership lapse – as you say it’s just would never be the same without them. However, football is always on and we do have Sky (!) so we all enjoy watching anything that’s on! My son also plays for the local academy so we do get to travel around to his matches which is great fun and as for my husband well he tries to play :)
Thanks for the message. So we have something else in common-Alex Ferguson! My dad often worked at Pittodrie Stadium and got to know him quite well during his reign here. I hope you’re not one of the rowdy mums standing on the touchline during your son’s games! Some of the parents here take these school games so seriously.
Please don't think your message upset me. You were so supportive and comforting, just as always-it was my own post. After reading it again it just made me think how badly I must have come across. I don’t have a real flair for words and perhaps I don’t always express myself in a way I would like-especially just now when I can become so confused and emotional.
Anyway, I hope your day went well Susan. Mine was OK until I got to the till in Tesco about half an hour ago and noticed around my neck I still had a whistle and some huge wooden beads which a child had adorned me with this morning. My top and hands were covered in blue paint. The cashier must have thought I’d escaped from somewhere!
What’s the weather like with you? I hope you haven’t been blown away! We seemed to have escaped it all. There’s snow in the south of Scotland and the forecast doesn’t look too good for Sunday here.
I have written three hour long messages and lost every single one!! Â Even when I copied it and then just tried to paste it !! Â I dont think I can write it all out again, I had written a message to you all (individual ones too!) I can not understand it! Â I really want to chat again and miss you all so Hi I am here but guess small message will have to do for now! Love Amanda
Sorry to hear about your messages, how frustrating for you (and us!). I'm so pleased to see you, I have been thinking about you and wondering how you are doing.
I hope you're ok and you had a good time with your friend, I imagine it's down to earth with a bit of a bang now. Well welcome back, we've missed you too and it's good to see you.
Wish I could have seen you in Tesco – bet that brought a smile to many faces!! and as for escaping well I’m sure that’s how you see it some time!
I hope you’re feeling ok, from here, it would seem that this week has been a bit better – what do you think?I know that not all days have been so good but maybe at some point?I think that this weekend is perhaps going to be challenging for you and I just wanted to say that I’ll be looking out for you and if you feel like a chat at any time I’ll be here and if you’re not up to that, then I will be thinking of you and wishing you some extra strength and comfort.I’m sure you’ll be at the cemetery, it’s going to be cold, so keep warm and I hope Benji snuggles up.
I’ll see you later as I have to start at 9am and all the prep needs sorting!
Love Susan
PS Yes we’re on first name terms with Alex in our home (not that he knows it!!)
PPS Yes sometimes I MAY be one of those rowdy mums – especially if anyone comes anywhere near my son!!
Good to see you, I'm sorry to hear about your mum and how difficult you are finding life without her. Well, you're in good company here and I hope that you will feel able to join us and share your feelings. It's such early days for you although I'm sure it must seem like a long time.
