hi susan and amanda, been having problems posting on the other post so thought i would carry on here and see if it works!! how has your weekend been? susan do things feel a little easier for you this year or not really? i feel so sorry for you having all those people around you last year when i bet all you wanted to do was run didnt you? its awful with christmas coming isnt it i even go shopping online as to not have to go shopping with all the xmas things about. i feel so selfish and bitter at the moment and dont want to, i can hear my mum saying come on karen dont be like that but its hard isnt it. i feel so lonely tonight i just want to talk and have a cuddle and a kiss with my mum, sometimes it really hits even harder doesnt it? speak to you both soon, and hope you are bearing up. we all need each other dont we? my love and thoughts are with you love karen xxxxx
i lost my beautiful mum to brain cancer in november. we had her for just 10 months before she passed away. Anyway. if you would like to talk, i think i would understand.
Good to see you and I'm sorry you have had such a terrible time, you must be feeling awful. Look after yourself and things can only hopefully start to improve for you soon.
If there is anything I can do, please let me know. In the meantime I'm sending you a big hug (())
First of all you did not and you are not losing it, you are doing ok – you just need to make yourself believe it!I wonder if you feel you were coping better a few months ago because you were trying not to face up to how you were really feeling and the whole new situation which you have to adapt to?That happened to me – hence the feeling of going one step forward and ten (!) backwardsIt’s so awful but I do think as it all starts to really sink in, for methere was the realisation,that this is how it is now and no matter how much it hurts and how cross I felt, there is nothing I or anyone else could do to change the situation.To get to that point is I suppose so individual and it must depend on not only our own personality but the relationships we had/have.
For me, I had to acknowledge that everyone does cope differently and so I would like to suggest that you should not measure your “progress” or the way you are feeling against anyone else – that’s not being fair to yourself.I’m sure your parents are very proud of you and they, more than anyone would understand your feelings and sense of loss.They would never have wanted you to be concerned or worried about how you are feeling now nor how you are coping.
As I have said my mum died quite a while before yours, so I have had longer to try to come to terms with the situation, but even so, there still are days when it is so difficult to imagine that I will never see them again and the loss is always with me.
I wish there was something I could do to reassure you that you are doing great and you will get there – you just need to believe it for yourself (otherwise I’ll just have to keep nagging!!)
you are such a wonderful, caring person, your messages are always so comforting and always make me feel better, i admire you how you help people even though you too are dealing with the terrible losses of your mum and dad.
the doctor said she didnt want me to have any tablets really as its better to grieve and let everything out, she said its early days and to grieve so deeply is showing how much you love that person/people, she was very nice and comforting. she said to stick at the counselling as it is very good.
i hope you have a good weekend susan, and i hope your family are all ok. speak soon, lots of love karen xxx
my heart goes out to you losing your mum, i know how hard it is. i lost my mum on the 20th sept and things dont seem to be getting any easier, please know we are all here for you, take care, love and hugs karen xxx
you sound like you need a hug as well, hope you are feeling bit better today.
how was the bear factory?
the doc said she doesnt want to put me on any tablets as its best to let everything out without them, but she said to stick with the counselling, i hope you manage to go back and see yours, it is very difficult though isnt it? going over and over everything.
speak soon, take care, hope your weekend goes ok, lots of love and hugs karen xxx
I’m really pleased that your doctor was so understanding and as she says, we all need to go through the grieving process. It’s so hard though, isn’t it? I too have a very supportive doctor. He only gave me medication because of the profound reaction I suffered. I was becoming quite ill and even passed out in his surgery one day-very embarrassing!!! I don’t know if they’ve done much good but he says as long as I’m not having any major side effects to stick with them a while longer. My heart goes out to you, Karen. and I wish there was something i could do to ease your pain. I can see that you had such a special relationship with your parents and their loss has left you hurting so deeply. I’m sure that once you start your counselling sessions proper she’ll be able to help you begin to come to terms with your grief.
I hope you manage to have a relaxing weekend with your family Karen. How old are your boys?
Had a bit more sleep last night so hopefully I will be able to cope a little better today. Thank you so much again for you words of encouragement. I really think deeply about what you say and I hope you realise just how much I appreciate your support. Although I’ve never met you, both you and Karen are becoming firm friends.
xxTHANK YOU BOTHxx
The Bear Factory went well thanks. It 's quite a responsibily taking young children out and about. I'm always counting heads etc.The majority of them fell asleep on the fifteen minute bus journey back to school, such was the excitement. I’m responsible for the school web site. I have just started using a new program. I’m not very computer literate so it’s very basic at the moment but it’s giving me a focus. (it's about the only thing I can concentrate on) I’m hoping to try and put some photos of our trip and perhaps a blog on the web. Watch this space, you may be able to see their smiling faces yet!!
I was going to be heading off on my weekly pilgrimage to the cemetery this morning but it’s raining here just now. Hopefully I’ll manage later or maybe tomorrow. Since we sold the house I’m quite obsessed with going there. I think that is the only connection I have left now with my parents and I have a great need to be with them. However, I used to go twice a week and since the time changed I only go at weekends so maybe things have moved on!!
I hope you have a lovely weekend with your family Susan. Any plans? If I can muster up some energy and enthusiasm, I am supposed to be going to visit friends tonight-I’ll see.
I have just read about you and the loss of your uncles. I feel so so sorry for you. I wish I could give you a big hug but I can't so I will send you one through the web. Hang in there dear lots of love Sharon
