Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
MHM, am sending you more love and hugs, they are always coming, but every now and then it's good to be reminded of them.....and am thinking of you, sweet, and Daz too....take every good moment and bind it in your mind together with the love you have for each other, and remember them.....come on here and rant, we know you, know that you are going through your own hell on earth and can try to help comfort you.......my shoulder is here for you to lean on, my hand to hold yours, and a big box of tissues in case you want a hefty cry......
hey all my chickies sorry so late iv'e had a rather bad worrying day. Daz is bad. Doesn't seem to be getting better. Infact, he is worse today. The worst i have ever seen him. It's scarey and worrying. I thought he would feel a bit better today. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking? I went to see him and he has real trouble breathing. He can't get out of bed at all now, not even to the bathroom. He has a nebuliser and oxygen on nearly all the time. The drs had to come back to see him this eve as his breathing was so bad. He can't get his breath and really struggling to breath. They said they are gonna put him on stronger meds and have taken a sputem sample to test for infections. One good thing is that he had a CT planning scan this morning then started Radio this eve. I'm truly hoping this will help with his breathing. I rang him this eve to see if he felt better than when i saw him today and he couldn't even talk to me. I feel like crying but have to be strong for Daz. He don't need to see me upset i need him to get strong and fight this again. It's hearbreaking to see him so ill and not being able to do anything to help him.
I just want to thank each and every one of you for all your support, well wishes, kind thoughts and for holding our hands we just need to keep holding on for just a bit longer. May you all be sleeping well and you and your loved ones are always in my thoughts too. Much love and big hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Am so sorry to hear that Daz is still poorly,all crossed that the stronger meds and RT will help him improve over the next few days...thinking of you all and you know where I am night or day, please send him my love and love to you, Daley and Kirsty Many ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) and love Teresa xxxxxxxx
hey my little chickie rooster charles Thanks sweet means alot to me i hope you and little Oscar are well and that you are still having nice times together. Love and hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey my chickie teresa So ggod to hear from you. Thanks for your kind message it helps to know people are there Hope our baby chick and you are ok? love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
