Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Dear Kate...how he's behaving is awful towards you and DB's memory (whether 12 weeks or 12 months!!) do you think it's his way of grieving and not wanting to be on his own, more so with you going away (not that any of that's an excuse) have you spoke to her about it since the other day?? xxxxx
good to see ya!! hope your ok babe and hope our baby chick doing well bless her our poor man u eh?? mind its early days eh.............lol, we'll be laughing soon............lol......xxxxx
hi shell
great news hunni, how r u today? and hows that nasty ex lodger now, r u going to sort things out at school tomoz?
Oh mates, you know I kept thinking is this just in my head but it wasnt it was so blateant, DBs buddy has been on her own a long time and although I dont think she is interested in him she was enjoying the attention and flirting he was giving it was sickening to watch Im heartbroken
Hi Shell, hope you enjoyed your day out today xx Tereasa ,did you go to roost last night? lol ,hope you get to see the little fox cubs xx Glad for your news shelley,hope you get on ok at school tomorrow xx Kate certainly seems like you dad giving you lots of emotional blackmail,was he round this womans the other night? xx
I type 1 post and miss 5!! you're either all too quick or I'm slow lol!! like you said Karen...there's still time yet eh? and then we'll be smiling (or wiping the smile off our faces lol) baby chick not bad, been very tired but only has 5 days left of tablet chemo (6th month) then scans and moulding for radiotherapy next tues/wed, fingers crossed all will go well...she's gone back to college for 7 hrs a week, think that's taking it out of her but it's getting her confidence back and making me an even prouder 'mummy'!! have to stop now else I'll start crying...emotional and silly cow am I...no replies!! xxxxxxx
Dads not too bad,thanx Karen, parents been over today,not long gone,so that cheered me,had a whisky with him ! is he supposed to do that? whatever!! xx
