Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
God some people just don’t seem to have any feeling for others, it as if they have to be the centre of attention all the time. I have finally gone to see the in-laws tonight, first time since Jeffs funeral, was just so angry with them but that another story, I could have hit his dad, he said that no on knew how much he was hurting and that there was no one hurting as much as him.
Im sure Kate hes doing to get your attention but I could be wrong hun, no one knows him like you do hun.
hi kate just want to say hun i feel so sorry for you it must of been hurting you me i would of had to have said something to both of them love n hugs xxx hi to everyone else xxxxxxx
bless ya no wonder you felt so mad hun, of course your father in law devastated but no more than you are, i think when were grieving we think no-one else feels it as bad as us dont we? hopefully he didnt mean it the way it came out hunni, luv n hugs xxxx
Heather,i remember you saying about probs with in-laws,why do people do this to each other at a time wen they should all b pulling together and supporting each other? i no its a bit different,but my uncles still haven,t visited my parents,after promising they would put past behind them and go see them,its just prompted me to phone them tomorrow and kick thier asses xx Tereasa ,much love xx
Right got to take the mutt out, then I think this cat needs her bed. Will leave you all with this. Hope you don’t mind
Believe in your heart that something wonderful is about to happen. Love your life. Believe in your own powers, and your own potential, and in your own innate goodness. Wake every morning with the awe of just being alive. Discover each day the magnificent, awesome beauty in the world. Explore and embrace life in yourself and in everyone you see each day. Reach within to find your own specialness. Amaze yourself and rouse those around you to the potential of each new day. Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect; this is the essence of your humanity. Let those who love you help you. Trust enough to be able to take. Look with hope to the horizon of today, for today is all we truly have. Live this day well. Let a little sun out as well as in. Create your own rainbows. Be open to all your possibilities; all possibilities and Miracles.
Shelliey...its not me it's this bloody laptop, that's my excuse anyway (though only missed 3 this time lol!!) xxxx no change that as just looked back and I think it's 5 again!!
Hi Shell2...hope you've had a good weekend and are feeling ok xx
Hi Heather, hope all is well and you've had a good weekend (you might not get this message for an hour) but I mean well lol!! xx
Dear Karen... am soooo proud of her it makes me cry!! her hair has started to grow back as well, though she losing her eyelashes and brows again but we'll get them back and get there in time...much love from your fellow MUS (as MHM would say ha ha!!) xxxx
