Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
thanks u all its just been such a long week not had much rest and a hate hossy but love all ov you your great realy helps some times to let it out I dont realy speak about any of this to my freinds or family they are already hurting enough and Iv always been the one they come to for advice and help I will go to maggies when am off got more paperwork need help with can only go on a thursday so not easy juggling work and other stuff will make appointment for the shrink he he he thanks again for your support all of you out there sorry for takin it down tonight xxxxxxxxxxxxpaul3mel
thanks guys an dolls mabe al have a better second half ha ha ha a few days off will help me get back up there and all of your help its great to just get it out thanks xxxxxxxpaul3mel
Just thinking about the sandwich board, maybe one of those ones at the seaside where you stick your head through for your mate to take your picture. I reckon you'd look good in a Red Polka dot '50's swimsuit and matching turban with big red rosy cheeks ....................
and 'Cock a doodle do ? should that be 'any cock'll do......................(ROFL).............
HOWLING!! slap coming your way, they don't howl they sing lol :-) ..glad your dog's doing ok (what's his name?)
As for the 'any cock'll do' not fussy when down ole Kings Cross cos any cock'll do!!, though don't suit red, me get on better in yellow or blue!!?? though come October I think dark colours and leg warmers :-) xxxx
