Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Not long home from visiting my parents, its my dad whos i,ll, but he quite settled today, so now i feel ok. Think we have spoke before wen i was lookin for names for my chickens,and decided to call them after people on this site as you all called chickies!! xx
Near one stop? we've been ok today, went to Matalan with mum and today's been the 1st day that Michaela's not spent it all in bed!! went for a nice walk this eve (though took us 40mins) but at least it's exercise for her and seems to be strengthening her muscles, how ya doing hun? xx
Yeah thats right! glad u ok.Funny how we get joy out of seeing our loved ones doin something normal that we usually take for granted! Im ok as dad seemed ok today,hoping to get him over again nxt weekend,so he can play with the dog,or should that b the dog will play with him?!! xx
Hey you...am still about for a while, got stuck into a film Walk the Line about Johnny Cash, was quite good. Never had a meal in the Shapla but had plenty of takeaways from there, nice one's as well, you're not that far from Wymondham then? When we were out this eve I said to Michaela again about getting a dog, as where we walked would have been so much nicer with a little lab or springer spaniel and would give her an incentive to go out more xx
