Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Welcome back, you've been missed!! glad you had a good break with DB and dad and bless her bopping to the Mandela concert, hope you ok, love n hugs T xxxxx
Kate.. sounded just like joey from friends..lol How You doin? hee hee Fingers and toes are crossed MHM.. tightly!
I'm ok.. Sunday I might be a bit 'iffy'... it will be my dads 64th Birthday.. or should have been :( but I'm sure I will do ok... I cant get that Beatles song out my head... "when I'm 64"..lol Dad would have had a good giggle about that with me..
hey chickie Teresa!!! Long time no hear!!! lol Hows you and our baby chick Michaela today? Hope you're both ok and that you have had a good week love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Mamma Mel i seeing right thru you, you are worried bout our Daz and quite rightly so, In the morning get banging on to his mac nurse ok, you also need careing for right now xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Hey chickie lisa, Do you ever sleep gal? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey chickie Lisa Thanks hun and will keep you all informed. I'm sorry sunday is gonna be a hard day for you sweet but we will all be here thinking of you and holding your hand. The anniversary dates are so hard arn't they? I hope you manage to try to have a nice day though as i'm sure you're dad would like that. You take care sweet hear for you always love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey chickie Kate!! hahahah you got that looking glass out again!!!! lol i am ringing the chemo nurse in the morn if daz still the same and temp any higher. I would have rang them today but daz has begged me not to as he don't wanna go into hospital again but i have said i will leave it till the morn then but no longer and if his temp has gone to 38c or above he's definately going into hospital!!! Got to get my bossy head on sometimes eh? lol Love and hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxxx
sleep? sleep?... I hate sleeping.. I used to love it and could do it all day... but now i hate going to bed .. I dunno ..somehow see it as a bit of a waste of time..lol
aww Thanks MHM... yep anniversaries... christmas.. all bad times really.. but I will be ok... i can now think of him and smile between the tears..
Hey MHM guess who?.............................. read your message and it made me feel a lot better today so thank you hope you are all ok i am sitting here trying to eat popadom and mint sauce had chicken tikka but thrown that lol hope Daz is ok you keep your chin upo as always love and mega hugs chickie sue butty mophead madwomanxxxxxxxxxxxx Hey Kate Great to have you back how are you all? been thinking about you lots aswell me been hit with a juggernaut yep hun then hit with a run away train straight after lol mt i should have been looking where i was going :)Love and loads hugs chickie sue butty mophead madwomanxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Dear Teresa hows you sorry havent been in touch hope you and little michaela is ok you both pop in to my head often aswell hugs and love chickie sue butty mophead madwomanxxxxxxxxx
hey chickie Lisa Well i too lost my dad 19 years ago so i do understand how things can be hard especially at anniversary times but i will be thinking of you and holding your hand for sure sweet so no worries there!! You are doing so well and i'm so proud of you but you must sleep soon sweet or you will burn your self out trust me i know these things!!! lol Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxx
