Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Good to hear you slept well, there had been a bit of a blow last night and the debris is being cleared even as we speak. However, some lines have been cut to the powers to be are being approached to rectify the situation asap.
poor michaela bless her, it must have been so sore for her, i hope she is ok today, at least there getting all the tests done now, about bloody time, i am sending her cyber hugs bless her heart. hope you get some good news very soon. did they say how long it will be till you get the results? havent gone training today still feel rough, but its only a bug will go soon. we have a springer spaniel called taz, he is 5 now, such a beautiful dog, i bet you miss yours dont you? did you finish the red wine?? hope you managed to have a good sleep last night, you must be so knackered hunni. now my promotion......., dont think it really fitting, theres only one mother hen eh???
didnt come on last night as my puter was so slow as well its p's you off when its like that dont it??? have you heard whats been going on, on the site?? did u get a message from mac??
anyway mate, take care, speak very soon, give michaela big hugs from me, please let me know how she is later, am very concerned lots of love, chicky karen xxxx
Teresa mate any news? when you gonna get any results? I feel upset and also angry for You, Michaela ,and your Mum ,You are all going through this, as if things arent tough enough for you all hey babe? please dont think my problems are worse ok? cos they are not, you are all my friends now and i worry and care about my friends, your baby is being put through the mill it must be heartbreaking for you all, we are all here for you babe and will tackle any obstacle together ok? please dont ever think you are wafflin on, we care about you and our surrogate family, Michaela, Mum, Angie, Mia and Samuel ok? and anyone else ha ha ,But have to tell you and Karen, not a chance am I ever changin my footie team ok? honestly chicks its in the blood, didnt think I would be let off with our 3-0 stuffin cos if it had of been the other way round, well Id never shut up ha ha,I personally think It was a fluke and the ref must of been a man u fan lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx you was lucky !!!
Karen old bird lol, sooo sorry you have had to go to another funeral, poor babe, no wonder you are run down with a bug, yeah lifes shi**y babe but I am always here for you, hope you know that even if you do support a shi*e team ha ha i still loves you and always will xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Motherhen Mellymoo, are you on a decorating frenzy? you gone through to next door yet? lol, suppose you are keeping as busy as poss until Darryls radiation? thats understandable babe but I sure do miss you, we all do, know you promoted chikky Karen and soooo understandable but I need a few hens to keep me in line lol, please let us know you Darryl, kids are ok xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
New friends Juls, Muriel and anyone else, keep [postin here, cos you aint going to get a nicer thread but then I am biased ha ha lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
OOOher forgot to tell you my news, Well Duracell bunny felt good today hurrah, still wired up to feeding machine,so I decided to invite my gorgeous mate Stuart over this afternoon, well girls he makes Julian Clary seem very straight if you get my drift, ha ha,honestly he is sooo camp, he made mum and I howl for ages, he cut and blow dried her hair then mum put a full on face of make-up on just to lie in bed but we all had a great time, Stuart even brought bubbly with him. mum couldnt stomach it but it didnt go to waste if you get my drift xxxxxxxxxxxxha ha
Kate, your messages are so heartfelt I def think that you should be promoted as well!! how is duracell bunny doing and yourself and dad?? hope all is ok? As for the footy (god this laptop doing my head in as so slow) sorry dont think me and Karen could accept you if you did change over from Liverpool cos you cant beat Man U, sorry that sounded quite harsh but meant it in a funny way babe! What was the score again? this is quite emotional but really nice for me as I used to have the football banter with Dad but his team was Arsenal so that even worse!!
Well Michaela had ct scan this morning, was a tad emotional as its where dad used to go but still no results back but she was chirpier today and although her temp isnt at the normal rate since yesterday it hasnt risen more than 38, they have taken her off all her antibiotics this eve as the dr concerned (as she has the s***s) bless her and he think its down to all the she's been on and how often she's been given them, nurse said tonight that should no more tomorrow but might not be till monday as again its the weekend!!!! bloody protocol, I know they need their time off but its so annoying!! Going up there at 9 today as the haematologist is coming to see her hopefully with results of the 2 out of 4 of bone marrow, Got the box on and james blunt song on which makes me and mum think of dad coc of the words.. waffling yet again phaps I should get a glass of wine?!
Let me know how duracell bunny is, sending lots of love and hugs XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
so pleased duracell bunny doing well, sounds like you had a great night with your mate, bet your mum looks beautiful all glammed up for bed bless her lol hope you saved some bubbly for me mate, or have you downed it all? lol
now kate i know we stuffed you at the footy (sorry had to get that bit in) lol, but still love ya even though your liverpool through and through lol, so is my brother and one of your surrogate nephews, but hoping he will grow out of it lol, ryans man u and little danny is rangers like his dad, god what a mixed up family eh? lol
anyway mate hope your mum gets better day by day, speak soon lots of love and hugs, chicky karen xxxx
were on at the same time again hunni, poor michaela bless her, glad she a little more chirpier today, have been thinking about you both, hope you get some good news about bone marrow tests in the morning, i have everything crossed for you. she must be so fed up now bless her heart. i understand how you feel about areas in the hospital, where your dad was, i have had to go to our hospital and it brings back such horrible memories dont it babe? have a glass of wine for me wont you? dont tell kate but no we wouldnt want anyone who had supported liverpool would we? lol hee hee
anyway mate, will be thinking about you and michaela in the morning, and sending lots of love and hugs to you all love chicky karen xxx
