Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Hey my CCC (MHM) Not really been watching the footy, think because we're not in it and getting sick and tired of it being on of a weekend!!! but I think either Holland or Italy (are they still in it?) We don't have an appointment time tomorrow, we are back at UCH as Michaela having day 8 of chemo (IV) at 11am then her consultant is coming round after 4pm with CT/Pet scan results, am feeling quite positive as her bloods were taken today and her levels (although still on the low side) are rising on their own so fingers crossed.. Be thinking of you both tomorrow, how is Daryll, Daley and Kirsty? love and hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey my chickie Teresa You not watching the footie whatever next! lol You're standards are dropping me thinks! lol Hope the chemo goes well for Micaela tomorrow. How many has she left to have now as iv'e lost count how many she has had now! lol Must be me old head on tonight! lol I will let you know how Daz gets on no worries and Daley and Kirsty are both fine thank you. Darryl is still very lethargic and sleepy and has still beeen suffering from nausea on and off. He had one of his work mate round today though and that seemed to keep him awake for a little while. He went back to sleep after his mate had gone though so sure it must be my company he's bored of! lol Love and hugs MHM CCC xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ey chickie Juls I have txted chickie Kate again but no reply yet. Mind she was very teary and also very very tired so i'm hoping "no news is good news" or that she is asleep and resting well. Lets hope so eh? I have been worried about her and praying alls well Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Juls How has your weekend been and how are you, Richard, Gemma and Nathan? Michaela is doing ok as her levels are slowly rising (though still low) but she's been in pain this weekend with her back but feel quite positive about tomorrows scan results, hope all is well love and hugs T xxxxxxx
hey chickie Juls No problem at all sweet. As soon as i hear anything i will let you all know and if anyone hears before me perhaps they would let me know too? Hope you sleep well babe and have a nice day tomorrow Much love and big hugs night night MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dear MHM/my CCC Nice that Daryll had his work mate round today, keeps their spirits up doesn't it? Michaela had 3 friends from college round today, one of which didn't know what was wrong with her. Can't be asked with the footy this time round, like I said think it's because we're not a part of it so why should we have to bloody watch it, think you're right my standards are slipping lol!! Michaela has another 3-6 months left of chemo (this month is the 3rd one) tomorrow will just ascertain if she is pet positive or negative and if pos then she'll need radiotherapy love and hugs Teresa xxxxxxx
hey chickie Teresa I agree it does keep their spirits up a bit when they have mates round. Gives them a bit of normality eh? That was nice for Michaela to have some friends round and shame one of them didn't know what was wrong with her! I hope Michaela had a nice time with them though? Michaela's had 3 chemo's already that has gone quick hasn't it? Mind bet it has gone slow for her bless her Think it should be all over by xmas for her then which will be nice. Will she have Radio at the same time as chemo then if she is well enough or will she finish chemo first? Where will she have the radio on her body? Sorry i'm a bit niave with other cancers! lol Got me thick head on now me thinks! lol Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxx
