Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
hi chickie Anne you're very welcome here anytime and now officially one of my chickies! lol I hope you sleep well and have a good day tomorrow. Sweet dreams and hope to speak to you again very soon. Thank you again for your kind words for Kate and as soon as i know anything i will post to let you all know. Much love and big hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxxx
Hey MHM Have asked myself the same question this weekend as to whether they would do radiotherapy at the same time as chemo (but will find out tomorrow), if she has to have radio it will be on thorax, chest, abdomen and pelvis, hoping she doesn't need it as gives her a higher risk of infertility. Her friend that came round today knew that she was poorly but didn't know what it was she has but it still lifted her spirits and she's on a high at the minute because of her levels rising. Please text me tomorrow to let me know how things are with Kate and DB and also how Daryll get's on, much love and hugs to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey chickie Teresa Lets hope she doesn't need the radio then babe as that's gonna be alot for her to take isn't it on top of the chemo? Can they not take some of her eggs and freeze them if she has to have radio for the future or isn't that possible? I will txt you tomorrow babe that's no problem at all. If i hear from Kate at all i will let you know by txt too. I have just this minute txted her again so hoping she is ok bless her. We do worry don't we? It's like one big family now and i feel like you are all my sisters so i worry loads when things are not so good. Lets just keep them positive thoughts though eh? Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxx
Hey dearest MHM/my CCC Please give Kate my love when you next text/speak to her. Michaela's consultant is 70% sure that she will need radio but he then expected a 10+ day hospitalisation last month which was only for 1 night. I asked about freezing her eggs but because of the stage she was at they didn't have the time to do the procedure as takes upto 6 weeks, but like she has said, if things don't work out for her with regards to children there are other ways of doing things and we will cross that bridge if and when we come to it!!
Like you say about being a family (of sorts) so positive thoughts for Michaela and Daryll tomorrow and lots of positive thoughts throughtout the night for chickie Kate, DB and her Dad, please let me know how they are....much love and hugs MUS/Teresa xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey my chickie Teresa I will send your love to Kate when i txt or speak to her next babe no worries there. I agree with Michaela no point worrying about children yet she has plenty of time to think about that in the future plus kids are not the be all and end all of the world are they babe? The main thing is that our Michaela gets over this and gets healthy and well as soon as possible. She is doing so well bet you are really proud of her? I know i am what a girl eh? Positive thoughts for Michaela tomorrow i will be thinking of you both and if and when i hear from chickie Kate i will let you know. Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dearest MHM I am so proud of Michaela it makes me cry, am just devastated that she has to go through this and so soon after Dad (sorry that sounded so selfish) because of what all on here are going through Sending you all much love and hugs MUS/chickie Teresa xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Ps.. are you watching BB? how boring is it?? xxxx
hey chickie Teresa Babe you have been through so much in the last year so don't evr think that you are selfish at all!!! You are one of the bravest ladies i have ever know! (oi i called you a lady bet that's a first! lol) You have shown such courage and dignity so i can see where Michaela gets it from! Not got BB on as Kirsty is watching Derrin Brown that i recorded for her earlier Missed BB tonight too as Daz cancelled the recording! Reckon he did that deliberately! lol Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxx
Dearest MHM/CCC You didn't miss much with BB and if Daryll did stop the recording on purpose I don't blame him lol!! watched Derron Brown earlier, ask Kirsty what she thinks of the glass bottle thing, though she might not have seen it yet but that freaked me out!! much love MUS/T xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey chickie Teresa Kirsty has seen the part with the glass and she said "pain IS subjective" lol Don't ask me what that means i'm not intelligent enough to know what she's talking about half the time! lol Think she gets her cleverness from her dad cos she don't get it from me! lol All i can say the glass thing made me cringe what a mad man!! Some of the audiances faces though was really funny didn't you thik? lol Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxx
