Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
i know what you mean because thats how i feel but look to that day and enjoy your special day i am sure the sun will be shining but dont hold me to that dont think on the negative
hey my chickie Deb Bride to be eh? Wow i hope you have a lovely day! Not long to go now are you nervous? I remember mine i was shaking like a leaf but it was a truly lovely day! I have accepted your friend request sweet so if you need to p/m me anytime i'm here for you ok? You have done so well and are so strong even though you think you're not! Would a weak person have coped with all this crap that has been thrown at them? Would a weak person have survived a awful childhood that you so obviously suffered? Would a weak person have hope and courage and strenght you so obviously have? I don't think so! You are strong and courageous and brave and i for one am very proud of you even though we have just met! I can already tell you are no quitter and for that i hold you in very high esteem! You be proud for all you have achieved and in no way let it rule or ruin the rest of your life and the life you have with your lovely hubby to be I wish you both good luck for the happy day and will be thinking of you both One rule on here though You gotta let us all know how the wedding goes cos we're all nosey moo's really! lol Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey my chickie Dianne Didn't get to say hi to you babe so i'm doing it now! HI! lol Hope you're ok sweet and that alls well for you Much love and big hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My lovely chickie sue butty Thanks for that babe but you know me by now only say what i know is true eh? Love you and still holding your hand Think i'm gonna turn into an octapus soon!! lol Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxx
Dear MHM you might actually have to be a two octapuss with all the hands you are holding soon lol and yes your right you only say whats the truth im going to make a cuppa of coffe any one want one? hugs chickie sue butty xxx
my little chickie Deb I look forward to the full commentry so don't forget will you? lol I understand how you are feeling and i know my chickies do too. Sometimes things just hit you out of the blue and the loneliness and sadness just overwhelm us but you are here with us and we'll never let you down. I try to help as many chickies as let me and i may not always have the answers but i do listen and i do care very much. Where are you getting married? Have you many people going? Is your little girl your bridesmaid? I'm so nosey! lol I did warn you didn't i! lol Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxx
