Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
lots of love, hugs, easter eggs, frankfurters, bananas, postman pat, firemen with hoses (hope so lol) and wearing pinnies, eggy bread and mushrooms, breakfast baguettes, fruit pastilles, HUGE marrows, (aint got the energy to add any more now lol) love you all karen xxxx
Hey chicks we are all tryin to mail at the same time, Good for you Teresa chick, whats the problem with visiting any time? for goodness sake she is in a little room alone? when mum was alone I sat there all the time,and kept her company,somestaff didnt liked it but tough titty, just be cheeky like you are babe, I used to stay until mum was ready to settle down for the night, Michaela is a kid she be so fed up, if alone, and they feel so cut oiff sometimes in a room alone
I hope that i dont burden you (as i said to mother hen mel) and believe it or not when we're all talking i dont think about Michaela, i do but hope you know what i mean as when chatting and having a laugh it takes troubles away, that sounded awful when i said about Michaela as she on my mind 24/7 (sorry babe) besides seems insignificant to what's going on with everyone else!!
Kate make sure you p/m me your email address as your the only surrogate auntie that yets to see Samuel. Was going to do the full farewell but cant sleep yet so there's still time yet
Love and hugs to you both XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
dont ever think your burdening us, i like to think we are all great friends and thats what friends are for, please dont ever think that. your problems are def not insignificant babe, we would all be exactly the same as you. we are all worried about your baby too. i will stay here as long as you need to talk, and glad its helping you a little. love karen xxxx
hey chicky kate, still here mate, not working tom which is good as wouldnt be too much help at mo, will let you keep straight jacket off for time being ok lol x
Think you're right we are all posting at same time, good minds think alike!! Well Kate started off the big farewell again so just for the record (though not going to bed just yet)
Lots of love hugs, frankfurters, bananas, fp's, postman pat easter eggs, sausage and bacon baguette, fireman with or without hoses but donning pinnies and more hugs as cant remember what else, oh and big marrows and brussels??!!
Night night Karen and sweet dreams xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hey Teresa, You ant ever gonna burden me babe, we all get on so well cos we are all on the same wavelength, happy if i can lighten your load, sometimes you need a distraction, I will stay up all night if needed thats what friends are for, know you would all do the same for me, I must drive you all nuts at times, cant explain how the 3 of you can lift me and lighten my mood, dont forget unlike Karen ive got no babies no job so im here babe to do your head in ha ha, mother hen made me laugh the other day I was feelin a bit insecure and she said she would be ther in every nightmare etc same goes for me, anyways what channel no is it cos im on E4 load of nonsense
