Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
just read last posts and yes mel you didnt just help me a little you helped a lot so thankyou, sorry for keeping you up!! well Michaela saw another dr today for more blood tests!!! so we are none the wiser, mum went to work and they sent her home and told her to be with her daughter (which i thought was so sweet as she only just gone back after dad) so mum came up there with me, dont think it will be long before i expode, i asked 3 times for a fan for Michaela today as her temp keeps going sky they kept waking her every 3 hours last night to check it as at 1 point it was 41, she never got a fan and they forgot to give her lunch that she ordered. Bless her she so niave sometimes before we left tonight i said that if she felt like it and was able to get of bed why not go into the day room as being in the room on her own they keep closing the door on her and it feels quite claustraphobic (its just opposite her room so not a far walk) her little mouth went down and she said 'yeah i might do tomorrow' why tomorrow?? 'because its a day room so i cant go in there at night!!!' she had quite a few visitors today, her dad, auntie, cousins, nan and step-nan visited (though the nan and step-nan not at the same time!!) think it perked her up so im back up there tomorrow as a hematologist is coming to see her though not sure when.
Sounds like you had a good day mel with Kerry, Nate and Harvey and im glad the pics went well, sounds like Daryll's a bit of a joker and im pleased he's continuing to do well, is that carpet fitted yet?? I told mum about the 'looking young compliment', shouldnt have its gone straight to her head!! she was telling me and michaela today other stories of when her and dad til about 4 years ago used to go and see her sister in norfolk and when aunt used to introduce them to her friends (my aunt is 14 years older than mum) some would say 'oh il have some of what you have to look that good' now she wont bloody stop!!
Sorry you don't feel too well karen, hope you feel better soon, hows the training coming on, does it matter that you didnt go today or can you choose to do it as and when?. I got your message and have emailed pics of surrogate nephew to you, hope you got them both as bloody comp only showed that 1 was sent so let me know?!
So has the joker been banned for good or just a week?, i was reading that other thread last night and the mood that i was in (before mel picked me up) i was so tempted to say my bit and vent it on her but then i guessed i would just be lowering myself to her standard!!
Well here goes (kate will think we have really lost the plot now and i think newbies will stay away scared what they are letting themselves in for!!) lots of love hugs, frankfurters, bananas, postman pat easter eggs,fp's, firemen with or without hoses but pinnies. eggy bread with mushrooms, think that it but where did the big marrows and brussels come into it?????
Hope you ok, hows your mum been today hope she feeling better and hows your dad too? If you have an email address i will send you pics of surrogate nephew as cant do it through p/m, take care and hope to speak soon honey, this farewell will be longer than the message!! lots of love hugs frankfurters, bananas, postman pat easter eggs, fp's, firemen with or without hoses but pinnies, eggy bread and mushrooms and big marrows!! (i think and not sure about the brussels!!) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My Dear Likkle Chicken Teresa, I'm so pleased to hear from you, but sorry that there is still no news as to what is wrong with Michaela. Must be getting a bit worrying for you now? I hope they find out soon whats wrong with her and that she's back home with you
Have they done anyother tests apart from the blood tests and urine tests? Surely they must have some idea as to whats going on? Have they started her on any antibiotics yet? Sorry it's nothing to do with me really babe, but i feel so frustrated for you and wish they knew what was wrong! I'm sure whatever it is though that she will be on the mend soon. Keep me up to date as to what the haematologist says won't you? Sounds like maybe they think she has a blood infection or something what do you think?
I really didn't mind keeping you company last night/early this morning as it was no prob at all, and i would do it willingly again for any of my likkle chickens. You have no need to thank me as thats what we're all here for is to support each other and i'm sure if i wasn't about but Kate or Karen were they would have done the same for you!
well the marrow came about as Karens idea and i said i haven't got marrows, although i wish i did i just got brussels so thats how that came about! hahaha
did you get an email from mac today saying about the house rules or was it just me cos i replied on Jans thread sticking up for Lynne? They said they had withdrawn jans thread now. Hopefully it all stops now but i doubt that.
well here goes with my long goodbye love hus frankfurters, bananas, postman pat easter eggs,firmen with or without hoses but donning pinnys, fruit pastilles, eggy bread with mushrooms, marrows and brussels whew what a task!! think we have all def lost it now love mother hen mel xxxxxx
dont say sorry for it having nothing to do you with (feels a bit like family on here sometimes) besides if you are Samuels surrogate auntie does that not mean your Michaelas too?!! Obviously im really worried about her but it could be something less worrying its just with certain words they say to you you think s**t that could be....??!! they are giving her antibiotics with paracetomol but seems they only give her them when her temperature soars and yes i do think it may be something to do with her blood as her white and red cells are low and she keeps getting rashes on her arms, chest and back (to do with her temp), when she was in casualty they were very forthcoming and quick in doing tests and sending the dr's down to see her but on this ward they seem to not bother so think tomorrow i will kick arse!! and demand to know what going on, because she's nearly 18 she doesnt need her mum (medical wise to be told things) but she wants me there and i want to be there. today when the dr came round she was looking at and talking to Michaela and i asked a question and she peered at me over her glasses and said 'and you are??!! so i said her mother!!! i may as well have not been in the room, anyway we'll wait and see what tomorrow brings, hope she home soon as miss her and i need sleep just cant seem to switch off as if on auto pilot, fell asleep for about half hour when i got back from the hospital (1st time since 8pm last night) and now not tired again yet!!!
I didnt get a message from mac but before i writing this i notice she's on chat under Help replying to a woman called Helen so has she been banned? and because of her has Lynne stopped posting though Ive not spoke to her much but from what I can gather she was a bitch to her as well wasnt she? Well didnt have the eggy bread in the end, i had a sausage and bacon baguette (shall we add that, il leave it up to you?) this list gets much longer we wont have much time to actually talk, be a case of 'Hello...and now for the farewell!!'
Anyway dear mother hen mel thankyou again for last night, you're a star and whenever il return it xxxx
Here goes... lots of love hugs, frankfurters, bananas, fp's, postman pat easter eggs, fireman with or without hoses donning pinnies, eggy brean and mushrooms, big marrows and brussels - done it!! love t xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Teresa, I guess you're right that i'm Sams and Michaelas surrogate aunt!!! My family is getting bigger by the day!! hahahah Maybe Michaela has severe anemia? We're just clutching at straws now arn't we? It's just so frustrating as to knowing whats wrong with her. It must be even worse for you sweet as you are her mum! Well we'll just have to hope it's something small (sorry did that sound a bit flippant?) and that she's home with you soon. I bet she is missing you as much as you are her, and you just want to get it sorted and her home don't you? I wish i could be of more help in suggestions as to what may be wrong but we're not going to know untill they got all the results in are they. Why is she not being given paracetamol every four hrs? thats what we would do as mums to keep temp down wouldn't we, so why can't hospital do the same? I don't blame you kicking some arse as neither of you have been told anything reaally and it must be so worrying for both of you! You go for it girl!!!! ahahahah Don't think jan has been banned just one of her threads have been withdrawn. Lynne is about on the chat site called 24/7. She had a bit of stick earlier from j but think that has stopped now, could have started up again though by now, but i hope not as Lynnes really lovely and doesn't deserve to be bullied like that.
Sausage and bacon bagette sounds lovely so i hope you enjoyed it? So sounds like we'll have to replace the eggy bread and mushrooms with sausage and bacon bagette instead! hahaha
Forgot to say the stair carpet was fitted last friday and looks fab, make sure people take shoes off before they go upstairs now, as it's beige and don't want it ruined. I'm like a door woman now!! hahaha
anyway now for the never ending goodbye love hugs, frankfurters, bananas, fruit pastilles, postman pat easter eggs, firmen with or without pinnys marrows, brussels, and a bacon and sausage bagette, don't think i forgot anything???? we'll have to cut this list down soon or we'll all get bored of writing it! mind we'll wait till after easter but it has been funny and done wonders for my memory!!! love mother hen mel xxxx
So being a surrogate auntie to Sam and Michaela means that me and Angie know where to come if ever need babysitting??, mind you if i send Michaela down to you Daley might want her to stay as not being big headed (well actually I am) but she is gorgeous! lol, (will have to send you a pic of her) one of the tests yesterday showed that Michaela is anaemic but thats not what causing the temp and everything else but hopefully will know more tomorrow (well today) god i feel ive aged 20 years in the last 6weeks especially the past 2 days as had very little sleep same as like you holding me up last night, know i said it before but i did really appreciate it!!
Well as for that woman im surprised they havent banned her rather than remove her thread, it seems to me that she reads other forums and profiles and does seem to come across as nice then starts up these relationships before bitching, though she not been on at me before but she does seem genuine to start off with (reason why we all spoke to her) not making assumptions but seems to me that she the type that gets a kick out of other peoples woes!! Glad to hear the carpets been laid and you sound like my mum when it comes to SHOES OFF!! after a few months do you subside on that? Mum doesnt!! I hope all's ok with Kate and that Karen feels better soon as they been quite quiet past 2 nights or so, phaps that nite you all had without me has had a part in wearing them down!! I agree with you that after easter we need to cut the farewells down but for now here goes.......................
lots of love, hugs frankfurters, bananas. postman pat easter eggs, fireman with or without hoses but donning pinnies, sausage bacon baguette, marrows and brussels!!! what a mouthful!!
Hey Mothermellymoo Hen and the chicks ( could be a band name?,ha ha, and it saves me sayin our long farewell 3 times !)
Teresa chick, hows baby chick Michaela? my goodness you must be so worried, couldnt believe what i was reading, hope and pray its nothing serious, i remember when i was her age, was prone to getting kidney infections, was in and out, the folks were worried to bits turns out it was a narrowing of the tubes under the kidneys ( cant recall their proper name, Nurse Gladwys where are you? ) anyway it took them a while to get to the bottom of it,they soon sorted it out once they knew, poor you and poor Michaela, like Mel says maybe its an infection ? bet shes bored stiff and bet shes costing you a bomb in mags and things ! Laughed over the day room and laughed over her milking it when she gets home, sorry I wasnt about when you was up all night, you hadnt long missed me either, but see mother hen was, what an angel, keep us informed xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Mother Hen, hope you are ok, you must be still running on moo juice? ha ha , Hope you and Darryl have had a good day, he sounds as fun as you, and just as nuts ! Did you get any answers today? Only I was in the garden earlier and sure I heard you hollering ha ha Let us know, you may worry about us but we worry about you too, dont we chicks, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Nurse Gladwys, now hows that bug of yours ? or did a little chickie pull a sickie ( jees im a poet now , no end to my talents) in work cos she was soooo tired after a late night? crime fighting ? lol, go on you can tell? maybe for the best may of been lifesavein trainin and you may of been snoreing ha ha sorry my sense of humour takes a little gettin used to hee hee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx hope you feel better
Well this is whats been happenin my end ( now now Teresa ) Mum is like sleeping beauty, chemo once again knocked the duracell bunny flat on her back ( for now, just rechargeing) It is an improvement on the last one cos no actual vomiting and poops have settled down today but it is very tough, still she keeps her sense of humour though and I can still make her smile, I wake her up every 2 hrs for water, meds ensure etc, Ive taken your advice mother moo and have packed her a bag incase and im bein a tough little chicken xxxxxxxxxxxxx for now anyway !
Well Love you all to bits and here goes ( Which fool started this nonsense? - oh yeah it was me !!,) well maybe I should end it before we get kicked off to chat or kicked off for good? .......ooh hang on my memory is soo bad, Teresa Chick any sign of that baby yet ha ha xx With Love hugs, frankfurters, postman pat easter eggs, fireman -hope with huge hoses purleese (if you have to spoil it motherhen ?donning pinnies,?) breakfast baguettes?, big marrows, sprouts, hey ?what you goin on about ? sprouts ??? ok my bit,... and George Clooney lookin like he did say 10 years ago, wearing nothing but a smile, maybes covered in baby oil (im for it now!) Jose Mourihnio lookin mean and moody in a liverpool shirt ha ha, right im off for a cold shower love you all K xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx If this disappears im gonna scream ha ha
Anyone about? where are you all? dont want to go on other threads, feelin like Dorothy tappin my red shoes, .... Theres no place like home, theres no place like home........
Bet you are all worn out, Nurse Gladwys you like a bug stuck in a rug ha ha Teresa , Mel you both in bed ? Feelin like Elvis........Are you lonesome tonight .........
