Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
My Dear Teresa, sorry for not replying sooner only mother hen has had a very busy day today, and have only just managed to have a rest! haha. well first i expect you want to know how darryl got on today? well it was more good news the mets in his spine seem to have reacted to the chemo also and the onco said they just look like scar tissue now! so seems we caught them in time, plus the last lot of chemo darryl had seems to have shrunk his tumour down even more! He is such a fighter and i knew he'd do well, i recken his diagnosis of being given 2-3 years is going to be proved wrong and he will make his 50th birthday for certain! hope you will be able to come? cos it's going to be the biggest bestest party ever!! hahaha. We are still waiting for a letter by a different onco to find out when Darryl starts radiotherapy, but will let you know when we know. I came home on such a high i decided to decorate the bathroom, and it's now finished after having four coats of paint on the wall and 3 coats of undercoat on the door and skirting board, all thats left to do tomorrow is the glossing of the door and skirting. I'm so proud i did so well but Daley also helped me, so can't take all the credit! haha we had darryl nailed to the sofa so he couldn't move. He's getting quite used to that now and i used the same holes as last time so not half as painful this time!! haha (that was a joke). I'm sorry to say i never really sent Daley away he was here all the time! hehe naughty me telling fibs, but i was just messing about. I bet you will miss Michaela too when she goes to uni and even though you will miss her i bet you're really proud of her? After all we all want our kids to do better than us don't we? I hope she does well in her economics resits in april, please let me know how she gets on, but i bet she flies through them as she sounds as intelligent as her mum! Really pleased she got good results in her business studies bet you are proud too????? I hope she has a wonderful time in Germany and do tell me all about her adventures when she gets back. well only 7hrs and 15mins to lift off now!!! at least baby be here soon and don't forget to tell us all as we're all excited as you all are and it can be a little maccy babie!! haha. Hope you and your mum have a lovely evening out and have a few drinks for me! Have fun with Mia tomorrow. Hope your asleep now? lots of love and huggles mother hen mel xxx
Hi Bob, First i feel i must apologise for taking so long to reply to your post. I don't usually take that long but iv'e had a very busy day today. It's so nice to hear from new people, just a shame as to the circumstances.How are you feeling today? i hope you are well and as comfortable as you can be. I welcome you to this thread and you will find there are quite a few of us on here who have trouble sleeping at some point, or even all the time! They are all my little chickens and i have a soft spot for them all! so you are officially one of my chickens, or would you prefer to be a cockeral? haha all of us here are very friendly and help each other as much as we can so please feel free to talk to any of us anytime as we are all here for you. Darryl saw his onco today and we had very good news, his tumour in his lung has shrunk even more then the last time, which was 85-90% and the mets he has in his spine have also stopped growing and the onco said they just look like scar tissue now! Darryl still has to have radiotherapy on his head as a precaution, as he has small cell lung cancer, and that type is prone to spread to the brain. But if he has radiotherapy on his head then that cuts the chance down to 30% so we thought it was worth doing as Darryl is only 44 years old. We got given a 2-3 year life span for darryl, but he said he is at least going to make his 50th birthday and i really believe he will!! what a party that is going to be so hope you will come too? When we came home from seeing the onco me and my Son Daley decorated the bathroom as i was on such a high! we did four coats of paint on the walls and undercoated the doors and skirting boards with 3 coats. All thats left is the glossing of the door and skirting boards which i am doing tomorrow. I had to nail Darryl to the sofa though as he does tend to overdo things when he feels well then for a few days after is wiped out!! haha Thats the trouble with you men when you feel ok you always feel you have to do something and don't pace yourself! hahaha 9i was only joking so hope you don't take offence to that?). Anyway i have waffles on for long enough i hope to hear from you again very soon. Take care love and hugs mel xxxx the mother hen x
Dear mother hen mel, your message made me cry as im so pleased to hear darylls results and the good news for all of you, i will def be there for his 50th!! I bet he must feel like jesus the way you keep nailing him down (sorry) and i guessed you'd never sent daley, from how he sounds i wouldnt send him out to anybody!! So it sounds like the whole house has now been decorated?? in between having mia, seeing baby and spending time with mum im going to try and get mine finished by next week but what i say and do are usually 2 different things (take after my dad in that respect!!) Dad would make plans 'il do this today, then the undercoat tomorrow, then the gloss next week, 3 years on still none of it done!! bless him phaps it a man thing!
Well Michaela is all cosy in bed and cant wait for tomorrow though sad that she wont be here to see baby till sunday, its funny that she takes off from stanstead at 12 noon and angie is being taken to theatre at 12 noon, cant wait but i think it will be a very emotional day as there'll be a very special person missing but i said to angie tonight (she got upset on phone which gave me a few tears) that dad will be there tomorrow, Michaela told her to make sure she half decent and covered up (only Michaela could say that) ha ha, anyway i will leave a message tomorrow to let you know what she has had and yet again im sooo pleased for yours and darylls news!! lots of love and hugs to all of you teresa xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I just wanted to say sorry to hear of your illness, your wife sounds very much like my mum was towards my dad. I hope you both stay strong and keep positive as it really does help, here whenever you want a chat or rant, thinking of you with love teresa xxxx
Am sorry that you have had to join this thread but you will get such support on here, mother hen mel will make sure of it - shes great!! hope, in the circumstances, you are feeling well and staying strong and positive!! here as and when you want a chat, love to you and your family teresa xxxx
Hi My Dear Teresa, so good to hear from you, but shouldn't you be in bed cos you got mia tomorrow and don't want to fall asleep looking after her do you? haha i bet you cant sleep cos your excited bout baby tom but also worried about Michaela being away? I'm right arn't i? haha. I'm so glad you will be at darryls 50th and Michaela is welcome also unless she wouldn't want you cramping her style that is? haha. Your dad sounds so much like Darryl he always used to say he was going to do stuff around the house then never did. His excuse was he needed a good run up to do it! hahaha. So getting my house decorated is the first time since we moved here which will be 13 years in july!!! Well that's a little porkey actually as we did refit the kitchen and decorate that but thats it! A funny story though if you got time to listen a few years ago Darryl told me he wanted a fish pond in the garden. Only 5ft by 6ft he said. Well the day came and Darryl had daley and all Daleys mates out there digging all day. They wouldn't let into the garden as they said it was a surprise. Well when i went out there when they had finished it was 20ft by 15ft!! i couldn't believe it, it took up half the garden! I had the last laugh though cos the next day i made them fill it back in as it was too big and not were i wanted it!! haha that was so cruel but i did do them a bbq and supplied beers to make up for it! haha. needless to say the garden hasn't been touched since and that was about 10 years ago!! hahaha looks like a right tip out there now especially as essien been out ther digging everywhere. I did ask Daley to do something with it but he said all he could do was bomb it and start again! haha he's not very helpful sometimes ,plus i think he remembered all that digging last time! Well babe i'm waffling again as usual hope you have a nice day tom and don't forget to let us know when little maccy baby arrives. Take care my little chicken lots of love and hugs mother hen mel xxx
Dear mother hen Mel i had to reply before trying to go to sleep as in the wide awake club!! Your daryll sounds so much like my dad as we (well at mum and dads house) had gardening probs too! Dad started digging a hole about 7 years ago as they wanted a pond except it was in the wrong place and just kept getting deeper and deeper, me and Mia used to sit on the side of it 2 years ago and when i used to ask dad what his plan was with it he said it was for mum to be put in!! they finally got their garden done properly last year with 2 verandas, shed and grass (my ex done it for them) and bless dad never got much use of it though we did have a great bbq for his 59th last year!! 13 years is nothing really, although like you mum and dad had a refitted kitchen and then the bathroom about 3 years ago they have lived in that house for 30 years!!! and it still not completely done, when dad was in hospital having his operation in Nov 06 my ex decorated the kitchen and then mum took it upon herself to finish off a bit of painting in the archway through from the kitchen to the dining room (its pale yellowish!!) except the paint she bought and used was more flourescent yellow!! anyway waffling on could carry on about the rest of the house(as lots of stories) but going to have another cuppa and then try to get some sleep though its not easy in coming!! lots of love and hugs (only 11 hours to go!!) XXXXXXX
My Dear Little Chicken Teresa, hope you sleep well have a fab day tom and i'll wait to hear the good news take care babe. Lts of love and hugs mother hen mel xx oh nearly forgot the fp's!! was thinking of saying easter eggs soon what do you think? Just an idea from a friend.
So sorry I've not been around, haven't read much that's been happenin over the last couple of days so forgive me if I get things wrong will catch up over the next couple of days, Teresa chick, soo happy you had a laugh over the weekend,wheres that baby? ooh shucks sorry maybe im behind and its here? xxxxxxxxxx
Karen hope your job went well today, ive just logged on so post your update ok? 9 oops maybe you have ?) hope it went well chick,xxxxxxxxxxxx
Mother Mellymoo, Hope today went well? oh god hope it did xxxxxxxxxxx So sure it did, you and Darryl are on a roll gal !
Me and mum ( or should that be Mum and I !! ) ladies
The consultant yesterday reduced mums chemo by 20 %, upped the anti-sickness driver, weighed her and she had lost a lot, so her response? well it was shop till she dropped , ( quite literally - her knees went!, on the doorstep) for a new wardrobe - ( till 10pm last night miles away in Manchester) god bless her - ha ha Didnt seem right last night to miss a nano-second with her ,-by goin on laptop- hope you all understand xxxx
Well today the cancer centre staff have nicknamed her "the original duracell bunny" ( after last week when she was admitted, and looked so poorly) honestly shes so glam, she puts me to shame, arrived at hospital today in new clothes and gorgeous make-up, im sooo proud, the staff all coment on how glam she is !had chemo and now we wait.............. Love you all loads, Post tomorrow properly, when i have caught up on all your news Loads and loads of love Kate xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dear mother hen mel, still up watching jonathon ross he's got ray winstone on there and he used to remind Michaela of dad (though bit taller and thinner)!! ha ha hope dad not reading over my shoulder!! I think easter eggs sound good, especially the mini eggs, mum bought michaela some of them the other day but i ate a few too many of them before i got home and gave them to her!! will def message tomorrow lots of love, hugs, fp's and easter eggs (how soon is easter?) teresa xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
