Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Hi Karen, i take that back about you not mentioning barnsley i knew you all couln't help yourself!!! talk about rub it in hahaha don't worry i'll have my day yet! haha love and hugs mother hen mel xxx
i am so sorry to hear of your husbands situation, my heart goes out to you. to see someone you love in pain is heart breaking. i will keep you in my thoughts. if ever you want to talk we are always here for you. lots of love and hugs to you, your hubby and your lovely children karen xxx
Hi Kate, Just a quick message to say that i hope all went well today for your mum? Please let me know how she got on as i'm bit worried. Darryl has his appointment at his oncologist tomorrow about starting radiotherapy so will let you know how that goes. Hope you're ok and resting well. Hope to hear from you soon have been thinking about you all day. lots of love to my little chicken love and hugs mother hen mel xxxx
Hello dear mother hen mel Am in that bloody wide awake club again!! how are things with all of you, hows daryll and has daley returned home yet?? I dont think i could handle having a boy what with the not coming home im bad enough with michaela going out and staying at her friends house for the night, its not so much her i worry about cos i know she more than sensible as she came out with me and my friends last xmas and even dad agreed to her going as he dropped us off in town (i would always ask dad if i was doing the right thing in letting her go somewhere or the right thing when i said NO!!), sounds like you and kirsty are much like me and her...when she goes to uni in october she's doing business studies and the course involves a years work/study in australia, canada or america, shes opting for australia as we have an aunt out there, dont know how i will cope without her as il miss her sooo much but like with kirsty the prob is you cant hold them back can you??? shes done me proud this week as she got an A and C in her business A levels didnt do so well in her resits for economics but she going to resit them in may/june......dont know where she gets her brains from (dad always used to say it was him) but even he sat the fire brigade station officers exam 7 times and failed, think he done it on purpose as he didnt want to become a 'pen pusher!!'
Well, when michaela was little and it came to birthdays we would always say only 2 more sleeps etc till its here so only 1 more sleep till baby here!!! cant wait, im having mia from 7 in the morning (wednesday) as angie has to be in at half 7 then they'l take her down at 12, i definately think its a boy so watch this space (im getting excited as if its my own) think they'l be a lot of crying that day and me and mum have already arranged that we're not cooking that night we going out for a meal and a few drinks!!! shame michaela wont be here she'l be propping up a german bar ha ha!, as for do's and donts havent needed to as mum has - dont try the ouzo but try the apple schnapps!! i was gobsmacked at that advice cos id not even have let her have the schnapps!!! Hope all goes well later on today be thinking of you both, with lots of love hugs and fp's teresa xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi karen I guess you got an early night ready for later today? i think you'll do a great job and they'll be very lucky to have you!!!!, do you mind me asking if because of your mum and dad thats why you decided to do something like this because with dad thats what gave me an interest in it as if i want to help and care for people that havent got anyone??? I have definately decided that that is what im going to do just don't know how to go about it and when as still feeling..feeling what, god its so hard to describe (sorry im waffling!!)
Anyway Michaela goes away on wednesday morning the same day that angie goes in to have baby, only 1 more sleep left and baby will be here (sorry thats a kid thing that we used to say to michaela about birthdays and xmas) she is looking forward to it but bless her she actually said today that she would miss me, she only going for 3 days and she's never said that before when she goes on her annual 2week holiday to cyprus with her dad and his family, i will miss her as its when im on my own that i dont like but am spending wednesday eve with mum, we going out for a meal and a few drinks once we've been to see angie and baby then come the weekend il be with mum again, we do have a laugh but when dad asked me to look after her i always say to him that she taking the 'p' !! but i love her, anyway honey ive gone on as usual be thinking of you today while watching jeremy klye, best of luck and lots of love teresa xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Just wanted to say that was thinking of you and mum yesterday, hope all went well please let us know, take care honey and speak soon lots of love and hugs teresa xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Just wanted to say that was thinking of you and mum yesterday, hope all went well please let us know, take care honey and speak soon lots of love and hugs teresa xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Melll . Like you I find it hard to sleep as my brain goes into overtime. Good luck to Darryl with his appointment and look after yourself also. By the sounds of it you are doing a great job of supporting Darryl.
