Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Sorry to hear of ART,S illness,I have Lymphoma and Lung cancer. My wife is a star..she never complains.and im sure is your Double..I can,t predict when I will go ..I was given "several months " last November,I hafe accepted my fate. I hope you will continue to support your Man through this ........ My wife (bless her) realises that I may not be here ...is brilliant she sorts all my problems.. I will wish you all the best wishes and LUCK. for your ARTS treatment . surpringly this helps me ...otherwise I would just sit here ignoring the issues all the best ROY
Dear Diane, am sorry to hear of your husbands illness if you ever need a chat or advice i will help if i can as went through it with my dad not so very long ago and everyone on here are so supportive (especially 3 in particular!!!), mel is right about writing down questions to ask the dr and the answers you get back, hope things get better for all of you and that you carry on getting some comfort in your faith, take care love teresa x
Good morning mother hen mel, well actually its not that good as its p'ing down and windy(hence being up at this stupid hour 5.30!!) ive got this really shoddy conservatory that chris (michaelas dad) and some of his firemen mates that have these other so called trades!!! built on back of the house and when it rains it makes so much noise on the roof that you cant hear the tv, when your in bed it wakes you up, it leaks and i wish we'd never had the bloody thing built but anyway how are you, daryll, kirsty and daley? why is kirsty moving to yorkshire and is that far from where you are? I laughed when you said about the mobile phone, how could you not realise it was in your t not just once but twice?! i had mine in my back pocket a few years ago and went to the toilet, how it fell down there i dont know but i fished it out and good old virgin it still worked (virgin being the network i was on at the time not me!!) Still no sign of daley then? Michaela's getting excited about her german trip, it sounds like the evenings are going to be a right booze up but i have said to her that they might be in for a shock as they must have licencing laws over there and being that they all 17 they might not get in anywhere, although their tutors will be with them, shes going for 3 days and taking a suitcase full enough for a 2 week holiday - kids!!! me and mum booked holiday for all of us yesterday for 1st week july, renting a lodge at naish village in bournemouth, we were going to go abroad but we cant really take baby anywhere too hot thats if its here by then!!! lol Angies feeling really uncomfortable now but only 2 days to go and we cant wait!! think it will come out 6ft tall holding its exam results!!! Shame about chelsea ha ha! at least we went out to a pretty good team but BARNSLEY!!!!! i like the fan club name Manchelpool, hope to speak soon, sending lots of love, hugs and fp's to all of you teresa xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
What can i say..Gordon Ramsey eat you heart out, roast lamb dinner wasnt bad but mum enjoyed it she's obviously not fussy!! no it was nice and dad would have been proud of my yorkshire puds, michaela and mum said that friday was really nice, they held a small service and could choose where they put dad they both felt that he was sitting on the bench next to the rose bush, im going up there with mum on friday as she wants to tell dad whether he got a grandson or another grand-daughter, it'l be sods law that angie has a boy now that dad has gone because it was always a 'standing joke' that mick was surrounded by all his girls!!! which deep down he was so smug and chuffed about... well football although my home team is luton ive always supported man u (dont know why) think davis beckham might have had something to do with but i did wonder about portsmouth beating them, me and dad until 7 weeks ago used to do the accumaltor football bet every weekend and whenever portsmouth played either arsenal, chelsea, liverpool or man u we were always tempted to put down a draw, didnt really matter what we put down as we never bloody won!!! but as for chelsea being beaten by barnsley ha ha!!!!!! will hope fully speak before but hope everything goes well on tuesday, il let you know how the daytime tv goes while im sat relaxed drinking me tea!! i applied to learn direct to do a course at home in caring as wanted chage of career but dont think i could help but get emotionally involved, so brave of you to and with mel and kate having done so. Well still no sign of baby!!! I know that angie is getting uncomfortable and impatient but so are we but only 2days to go and baby will def be here on wednesday, think its definately a boy so here's to 'Sam' - hurry up!! sending lots of love teresa xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
How are you and hows your mum been? Be thinking of you both today and hope all goes well..weekend with mum was nice, she made me and michaela laugh not cry last nite as she was reminiscing and telling as stories about when they met, they both used to work in M&S dad in the warehouse and mum on shop floor and when dad dumped mum (he was only 17 and her 19) sherrie (my godmother who was older than them) spread rumours that mum had a new boyfriend and that they'd got engaged, she used to call up to the warehouse and say 'mick johnny bartons down here' the make believe boyfriend and dad would be on the shop floor like a shot asking where he was and sherrie would say youve just missed him - bless him, mum even borrowed her sisters engagement ring to make the story more believable, in later years to come once they were married she told him all about 'johnny barton!!' Still not got rid of that anger yet but how the weather is this morning i might vent it later it chucking down and really windy (i get so p'd off when the weather bad!!), how bout where you are!!? & how have you been? Glad you excelled yourself with the food and lovely that your mum could taste it and had the cravings that she did bless her. So liverpool? i liked mels fan club name phaps the four of us should start a new thread but it might get argumentative, anyway i might go to bed for an hour or so as been up since 5ish. Lots of luck for today thinking of you all loads of love and hugs teresa xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Roy, I thought i would just welcome you to this thread. So welcome Roy! Your wife sounds a wonderful lady and very strong too. No one really knows how long we have on this earth, even been given a estimated lifespan has been proven wrong time and time again.I think alot of it depends on the determination of the person and having a positive attitude. I know my husband darryl's onco said being positive is half the battle won! I look after darryl to the best of my ability but always feel that i wish i could do more. Sometimes i wish i had this awful illness instead of him, as in the past i have seen him in so much pain i wish i could take it for him. He was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in september 2007, with a very large tumour on his right lung we got told at the time that it was terminal and not curable but could be made to be put to sleep with chemo. Darryl had 6 courses of chemo every 3 weeks and we got told the good news last week that his tumour had shrunk by 85-90%! which we have been so happy about, as you can imagine. Sadley we also got told a few weeks ago that darryl has secondary cancer on his spine, which is very small at the moment. We have to go see darryls onco on tuesday 11th march (tom) to find out when they are going to start radiotherapy for this. They are also going to do radiotherapy on his head as the type of lung cancer can spread to the brain. It's a precautionary measure and cuts the chances of him getting brain cancer to 30% so we thought it was a good idea to have it done especially as darryl is only 44 years old. if you ever need a chat or just a rant and rave i am here to listen so please feel free to message me anytime. You sound like you are doing really well with the wonderful support from your very loving caring wife, and i hope you continue to do well. Well i will say bye for now hope to hear from you very soon. Take care mate and hope you're having a nice day love and hugs mel xxxx
hi mel, manchelpool sounds great lol. so pleased darryls injections went well, and hope he still feeling ok and that the sickness has passed, and hope he is taking things a bit easier, as he doesnt want to be nailed to the sofa again does he? lol. he has got such a wonderful and caring person to look after him you are doing an amazing job hun. well still no daley, i hope he hasnt blown away in these winds, he could be anywhere now lol. thanks for your well wishes for job training tomorrow, and agree with you saying its not as hard as caring for a loved one, as that is one of the hardest jobs ever, we cared for mum at home and it was heart breaking, but just glad we were able to do it. at least end of the working day you must be able to switch off when its not family. hope you have a good day, and hope darryl and kirsty are ok. and hope all goes well with darryls hospital appt tomorrow, i will be thinking about you both. i will let u know how it goes tomorrow, and have a few cuppas and a few biscuits for me lol sending you lots of love and hugs, one of your little chicks karen xxx
hi kate, good luck with your mums appt today and hope all goes well, i will be thinking about you both. thanks for well wishes for job tomorrow, just hope i dont fall asleep in the corner somewhere lol. i'm so pleased your mum is enjoying her food, it is lovely to watch them being able to taste and fancy food isnt it? hope she is feeling ok today. you are doing an amazing job caring for your mum, and its one of the hardest and emotional jobs ever, your a star!! what do u think of manchelpool then? its good that mache is at the front of the name so its fine by me lol. thinking about you both today speak soon, lots of love and hugs your fellow chick karen xxx
My Dear Teresa my little chicken, I'm so sorry you got woken up so early this morning!! if it was me i'd be out there with a sledgehammer and knock the thing down! hahaha I can't send daley over to sort it out cos he still isn't home yet! hahah these boys and pretty girls eh?? haha Yorkshire is over 200 miles from where we are as we live in Kent. I will miss her so much as we've had some lovely times together, bit like you and Micaela, but i can't really stop her as she's 21 now, infact, will be 22 on the 2nd may. She's moving in with her friend Dan, though i think the're more than friends really! he's 25 and works as a carer in a nursing home. Iv'e only met him once and he seemed a nice lad but he's coming down here for a holiday in april for a week, so get to know him a bit better then. I keep telling her if it don't work out she can always come home, and to be honest i was hoping she wouldn't go but i have to let her go one day. Its just so flipping hard! As i'll miss my bubba chicken and the laughs we've had together! Hope Michaela has a nice time in germany and hope you've given her a list of do's and dont's hahaha. Bet you will miss her but be nice for you to have a bit of peace for a while! Now this baby! Bet Angie will be glad when it's all over with now and i think all of us on this thread have been waiting long enough for news of it's birth! haha don't forget to let us know when the happy event happens won't you? i bet it's a boy cos there allways lazy! sorry all the boys out there. Iv'e always said boys take ages to be born then spend the rest of their lives trying to get back up there!! haha (sorry was that a bit rude?) . I will not make any comments as to chelsea being beaten by barnsley as i'm above that!!! hahaha well my little chicken best let you go and get the sledgehammer out! lots of love and hugs and fp's love mother hen mel xxxx
Hi my little chicken Karen, so good to hear from you as was just thinking of you! I'm glad you like the new name manchelpool, and also glad you never mentioned the word barnsley unlike my other little chickens!! hahaha. Darryl continues to do well and we find out about radiotherapy tom so will let you know how that goes. I wish you lots of luck for your new job tomorrow and don't forget to let me know how it goes. The first few days may feel a bit overwhelming and your probably worry that you will forget to do something, but give it time and you'll be surprised how quickly you settle into it, and then wonder why you was so worried about it. I expect you will have someone with you for the first few days anyway so don't forget to ask lots of questions about anything you're not sure about. Most of the carers i have worked with have been lovely so i'm sure you will be ok. Just think of the difference you are going to make to peoples lives especially the ones who have no family to help them, or there family live too far away to help. Just making them a cuppa and having time to listen makes such a difference to there lives, so you go for it babe, i'm proud of you! Darryls injections are still going well and he said they don't hurt at all anymore just sting when the drug is going in, plus they have to be kept in the fridge so probably they are a bit cold too. well i'm just going to make a cuppa now and will keep you up to date with daytime tv not that i think you'll miss much! haha. good luck tomorrow babe hope to hear from you very soon love and big hugs mother hen mel xxxx
hi teresa dont know what happened to my post, but your message was supposed to be with mel and kates, never mind think its me whos gone mad as usual lol. well gordon ramsey .... watch this space, glad your dinner was lovely and that you all enjoyed your day. hope your feeling ok today. so glad friday went well and you can have somewhere to go, and how lovely your dad was felt sitting on the bench, he will be smiling down on you all when your sister has her little one x (when she finally does) lol, not long now to wait now, and you will be an aunt again, the baby will help you all.
what about barnsley then eh? he he (sorry mel) lol. ive always supported man u as well, i also think becks had something to do with it yum yum, i also support my home town of colchester.
thanks for well wishes for tomorrow, am a bit nervous, but your more detached when its not loved ones arent you? well i hope i can detach myself anyway, i just want to be able to help people, i was lucky enough to have been able to care for my mum at home, and stayed with my dad 24/7 in the hospital, but if i have deen unable to do it they would have needed carers, so i hope i can make a difference to some peoples lives. its still early days for you mate, later on down the line you will feel more able to do something else.
have a few cuppas and some choccy biscuits for me tomorrow and enjoy jeremy kyle lol i hope angie isnt too uncomfortable, hurry up little one..... , when does michaela go away on her trip? bet she is looking forward to it bless her.
have a good day, speak soon lots of love and hugs, your fellow chick karen xxx
