Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Hi Karen, darryl's injections went well today so hopefully the rest will be the same. He has also been quite well today but did feel a bit sick earlier but gave him one of his ant-sickness tablets so that seems to have passed now. i still think it has something to do with him overdoing things and just wish he would listen to me sometimes!!!!!!!!!!! I thought of a new name of a combination of all our foorball teams it's Manchelpool!!! what do you think? hahaha we could start a new fan club! wonder where we'd get in the league? see manchester and chelsea both lost today what a shame never mind always next year i suppose!! hahah I send you very good luck on your new job on tuesday and i'm sure you'll enjoy it. The thing i will say is that it's not as hard as caring for a loved one as once your shift has ended you can relax, whereas caring at home is 24 hr job and you never switch off! Thing that used to keep me going if we lost a patient was to think i had kept them clean fed and comfortable and could't do anymore than that, so please don't feel too bad if you do loose a client, as at least you know you made a big differnce to there lives! sadly it does get easier to cope with in the end and there is always someone else who will need you just as badly. I will be thinking of you working hard while i'm watching daytime tv and will have a few cuppas for you! hahaha let me know how you get on as i would like to know how my little chicken is! hope you have a nice rest of the day love and big hugs mel xxxx
Teresa chicky pie, hope you have had a nice weekend with your mum, bet youve laughed , cried , laughed and cried a little more chatting about your Dad, it will get easier babe, loads of love and hugs to you, hope your dinner was edible? as you know i nuked mine last week ha ha ,but todays, - well I excelled myself ! Any sign of that baby yet only at this rate its gonna come out with facial hair ha ha xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Karen you are gonna be fabulous at your new job, good luck with the training on Tuesday, sure you arent gonna need much training, you seem so careing and sooo perfect for the job,dont worry bout daytime tv Mel and I will keep you updated ha ha and at least you should get a better sleeping pattern, being so knackered and all - joke ,- Mels advice was spot on about the job, good luck babe xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Mother Mellymoo I think pale lavender for the bathroom sounds gorgeous, pale lemon hallway, well its put me in the mood for spring and a bit of sunshine, stand your ground with Kirsty ! bet you will miss her like crazy, does she know you have adopted other kid chicks? ha ha, Is Daley still charming a lady? ahh bless him, sorry I missed you the other night, hope you manage to sleep through tonight and that Darryls appointment on Tuesday goes well, keep the chicks updated xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Well girlies, i dont have much to report, Mums had an ok weekend continued tasteing food and enjoying it and thats been fab to watch, but other than that its been an uneventful weekend, hospital tomorrow will keep you updated, Oooh something exciteing did happen.......... was mine the only team to find the back of the net? think so !! Manchelpool Mel? sorry we are just too good to be joined with ya ! ha ha
Loads of love K xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
my dear Kate, Well my dear you don't have to show off just cos your team did well!! we will catch up soon! hahahah I thought of the teams merging was a good idea but if you want to be snobby and not join in then thats your loss!! hahaha (only joking by the way). Kirsty does know i have other chickens but she said thats ok so long as i don't call any of you bubba chicken cos thats what i call her, and she calls me mumma hen! hahaha Daley must be having fun as still not home, iv'e tried ringing him but he just says i'm cramping his style so can i stop ringing!! haha what a lovely boy he is! haha I think Teresa's sister Angies baby is gonna be 18 years old by the time he/she is born so you're probably right about the facial hair! (well if it's a boy that is). I'm so pleased your mum has continued to taste food must feel like a banquet for her! bless her heart lol Good luck at the hospital tomorrow and i will let you know how darryl gets on on tuesday. Let me know how your mum gets on won't you? I haven't slept that good last couple of nights keep waking up at about 4am but i think that may be partly due to darryl's hospital appointment on tuesday. Well my little chicken i hope you sleep well good luck tom hope to hear from you very soon love and big ((((((((((hugs)))))))) your mother hen mel xxxx
This is Diane , and my husband Art was diagonsed with cancer 5 years ago. He did radiation and chemo and he went into remission for a couple years. In August '07 he got the flu and didn't go to the doctor. Finally last month he went to see his doctor and they said the cancer is in his lungs{70percent}but the doctor said that it is not lung cancer , he gave my husband this long name and he can't remember it. He's been on oxygen for 2 weeks now , we have it here at the house. He can not sleep because his pain is horrible , and the pain killers make him sick. The doctor said that they can't do chemo because it will kill the good side of his lung. I can't do or say anything to take his pain away and I feel useless and helpless. We have three little kids, CJ.9,Sean , 5, and Emily ,2. I can't sleep most nights , I read my bible and watch christian videos a lot. It really helps me when I feel like I have no where left to go . There is hope out there, God is in Control.
Dear Diane, i'm so sorry to hear about your husbands illness. Is there nothing that can be done for him to make him more comfortable? Have you gone to the drs with him to fnd out what is wrong with him if it's not lung cancer? Perhaps you could write down some questions to ask and take these with you, and also write down the answers the dr gives as to the name of the illness your husband has? My husband had a very large tumour on his left lung but thankfully with chemo this has now shrunk by 85-90%. He is due to see his oncologist on the 11th march (tuesday) to find out about radiotherapy as my husband darryl also has secondary cancer on his spine but luckely they are only small at the moment. Even though Darryls cancer is terminal and been given a 2-3 year lifespan we live in hope every day that he will do better than this. You really have been left in the dark and i feel for you both very much. Please don't be afraid to ask as many questions as you feel you need to with your husband dr, as thats what they are there for. You sound very confused and upset at the moment and if i can be of any help to you at any time please feel free to ask. I may not have all the answers but at least you know someone is here to listen and sometimes thats all we need. I do hope to hear from you very soon and glad that you have found comfort in your faith. Take care hun love and big ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) mel xxxx
Sorry your not sleeping well, Mellymoo try and rest and switch of Im sure Tuesday will go fine, let us know, your chicks will worry, somebody once told me to think of a colour and think of all the things in the world that are that colour,then another colour and so on, theory is you bore yourself to sleep ha ha My postings bore me to sleep ! lol Your kids sound as lovely and crazy as you
It has been wonderful to watch mum taste food, she says she feels like she has had some meals, I will mail tomorrow and let you know how we get on, she is made of strong stuff and has said she doesnt want the chemo postponed bless her, hopefuly they have her sickness under control, she still has the anti sicness driver fitted
Im whacked and away to my bed, dogs 8.30 again Loads and loads of love and hugs right back to ya Kate xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Ps dont tell anyone but im a little jealous that Liverpool hasnt won the prem in soooooooo long, unlike your teams xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Diane Sorry my last post got in the way, i type so slow, I am very sorry for your pain, I have no real words of wisdom or experience of your hubbys type of illness but you will find great comfort from this site and people who do understand and can offer some sound advice , as Mel says I am glad you get comfort from your faith Best Wishes to you and your family Kate xxx
mother hen said GO TO BED!! you got a long day with your mum tomorrow so get some sleep! hahha will wait to hear from you as to how tomorrow goes good luck sleep well love and ((((((hugs)))))))) mother hen mel xxx
Sorry to hear of ART,S illness,I have Lymphoma and Lung cancer. My wife is a star..she never complains.and im sure is your Double..I can,t predict when I will go ..I was given "several months " last November,I hafe accepted my fate. I hope you will continue to support your Man through this ........ My wife (bless her) realises that I may not be here ...is brilliant she sorts all my problems.. I will wish you all the best wishes and LUCK. for your ARTS treatment . surpringly this helps me ...otherwise I would just sit here ignoring the issues all the best ROY
