Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
hi mel our wonderful mother hen hope you are ok today? hope you have taken the nails out of darryl today lol bet he loved his roast dinner, and hope he is taking things easy. good luck with the injections, and pray that everything is as good as last time. well the postman knocked this morning and hoped it was daley, but no it wasnt it was a bunch of bills, so i thought you send me daley and i will send you the bills in return, good swap i thought lol does the decorating look nice? it makes you feel better once you have it done doesnt it?
hope you had a good well deserved sleep last night, i was still awake at 4.30 and was frustrated that i couldnt drift off, never mind hopefully next week i will be able to sleep more as i have just got a job as a carer and start my training monday, will probably be asleep in the corner somewhere lol
anyway mate, you take care, have a good day, speak soon lots of love and hugs to you and darryl love karen xxxx
hi kate our fellow chick i had to laugh about what you said with the dettol, at least your mouth will be clean and smelling very nice lol i can sympathise with you about the mood swings and the rollercoaster ride, its so very hard but your doing an amazing job, try to stay positive!! glad your mum is a bit better, hope she still is today. your dogs dont sound very spoilt lol can you send me some of the food you cook for them its better than what i cook lol
i hope you had a well deserved good sleep last night sending more strength, and lots of love and hugs your fellow chick karen xxxx
hi teresa our fellow chick hope your not too bad today, and hope you had a good sleep last night ready for looking after mia today. hope all goes well with your sister today. i was still awake at 4.30 this morning and getting really mad cos i couldnt sleep lol anyway hun have a good day with your niece speak soon lots of love and hugs your fellow chick karen xxxx
hi Kate, so good to hear from you again. I hope the taste of dettol has gone now, but at least you can say your mouth was germ free!! hahaha You do spoil your little boys don't you? mind i spoil mine to ad everyone who comes round swears he's getting fatter!! but i said they wasn't allowed to say that in front of essie doodle or he'll develope a eating disorder, then i'll have to take him to an eating disorder clinic and i'd miss him loads! haha He's not fat by the way just a little portly and that's different to being fat! haha I hope you and your mum are well today and that your mum is comfortable. the decorating is now finished so i can un nail darryl from the sofa, but trying to keep essie doodle away from the paintwork as it's still wet, is proving tougher than i thought! well best go now and sort the dog out! love and hugs to my little chicken lots of love mother hen mel xxx
Hi Teresa, good to hear from you again. How did angie and Michaela get on today? It's funny how kids get better all of a sudden isn't it? I remember Daley and Kirsty conning me they were ill loads of times when they were at school, then as soon as school was over they would want to go out with their friends and suddenly feel better! We have to be one step ahead of them don't we? You had a good lie in yesterday and don't feel guilty about it as you must have needed it! See i said i should change the title of my thread to am i the only carer who sleeps alot! seems we're all sleeping more now at last must be the laughs we have that we go to bed all relaxed!! hahaha. Talking bout funny things we have done i think one of mine was when i dropped my mobile phone in my tea and didn't realise until i started drinking it! i remember thinking 'that looks like my phone in there' then realised it was my phone! needless to say it never worked so had to go buy a new one and guess what???????????????????/.................................................. I only did the same thing with that one! Daley said once was forgivable but twice was definatly the menopause!! he's called me menopause mum ever since cheeky bugger!! haha was bit bad of me though. And on another occaision i made a cuppa and put my tea in the fridge and brought the milk indoors! so you see we all do funny things sometimes but i'm sure mine isn't the menopause!!! When Daley arrives back here (i'm sure he's got taken by a young lady now) i will definately send him on to you with a roast beef dinner, infact, i'll make sure there is enough for all your family! haha Well hope this baby arrives safe and sound soon and bet there will be some celebrations when he/she does so don't forget my invite! haha. You take care my little chicken and hope you had fun with mia. love and hugs your mother hen mel xxxxx
Hi Karen, so good to hear from one of my little chickens again. I hope you get some sleep tonight and good luck with the new job on monday. I hope it goes well for you and that you enjoy it.What type of people are you caring for and is it in a residential place or at peoples homes? Darryl has now been un nailed from the sofa and joe finished all the painting today. The only prob i got at the moment is trying to keep my beagle essie doodles away from the wet paint! haha I think Daley has been side tracked by a young lady at the post office as he hasn't come home either!! hahaha i will willingly take your bills for you if that makes you feel better! lol Thank you for wishing me good luck with darryl's injections but i think i'm quite a professional now! haha hark at me, if my head gets much bigger i won't fit through the door! I really hope that you can get some sleep as there's nothing worse then fretting about not being able to sleep. Have you thought of going to your gp for a short term course of sleeping tablets? i had some for two weeks and they seem to have got me into a better sleeping pattern now. I don't always fall asleep straight away but i'm not taking half as long to fall asleep now. The ones i had called temazepam didn't make you feel really drowsey the next day either. Maybe something you could think about. Mind you once you start your new job you may find you sleep better then as your be really tired after that. Iv'e done care work in a couple of nursing homes so know how hard the work can be, not that i'm trying to put you off! well my little chicken i hope you are well and try to sleep tonight lots of love and big hugs your mother hen mel xxxx
Where are you all? Hope you are all getting some well deserved sleep? Karen you are a babe your message was lovely, glad my dettol-gate made you laugh and good luck babe with the job! hurrah one of us is bringing home the bacon ha ha are, im usually watchin daytime tv, Jeremy Kyle , this mornin,loose women- joke, you doing the night shift? perhaps you should? lol,I will send you food anytime mate, trouble is i mix it in with a little ceaser or butchers, still ok?haha Work will do you good, god i miss going to work, i was a Manager of a High Street Laura Ashley branch before mum got poorly, miss it very much, the girls and all that discount on ex-display home furniture and things ha ha, I ,like our mother hen also worked as a care assistant in a nursing home when i first left school, was always in trouble for "getting too emotionally involved" theres a shock ha ha, used to cry buckets every time a resident passed, went to loads of funerals,not such a good thing in that line of work......... Good luck babe sure you are gonna be fab, remember to bend those knees each time you lift lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx keep the chicks updatedxxxxxxxxxxx Teresa you have been very quiet tonight are you in the delivery suite? hope so? fingers crossed xxx good luck to Angie xxxxxx Putting the fridge in the purse senario made me laugh out loud, its true what i did with the dettol, shows where my heads at, Got rid of your anger yet? I too am very angry at times, thought about joining a kick boxing class, but dont fancy the getting hit back bit ! ha ha xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Mellymoo. mother hen, Hope Darryls still doing good?, happy you let him loose off the sofa, and your ready for the jabbing to commence ha ha, glad you are confident about stabbin your poor hubby in the guts ha ha -joke !! Essie doodles sounds gorgeous, shame he is a Chelsea fan me and my boys love Liverpool, although did like Mourineho pretty tasty I thought ha ha, so we are rivals ! The boys tend to get a little "portly " too but luckily they love veg and its so good for them, i know a breeder who said cook them veg, cabbage,carrot and mashed swede etc and pack their meals out, they are nearly 56 tears old ( in doggy years ) 8, and honestly behave like pups, so lively, too lively at times and i reckon its the veg and rice in their diet. Anyway im going on as usual, I am in a great mood cos Mum has had a good day, she has been like a pregnant lady craveing foods, ham and tmato sandwich, steak and chips, tiny amounts and unable to swallow but chewed and tasted- hurrah Not sure if she will have chemo on Tues, perhaps her dose will be lessend,know more on Mon as we are seeing the consultant I will stop waffling now Bye bye Chicks and Mother Mel Love Kate xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dear Kate, I expect by now you are asleep my little chicken, so shame i think i missed you???????? Darryl has had another good day and is fast asleep in bed as i expect most people are by now! haha I did go to bed but woke up again so thought i may as well get up and see if anyone was about? I start to do Darryls injections today so looking forward to that! haha We have decidid to paint the bathroom in pale lavender what do you think? the hall and stairs are pale yellow as it's very dark out there as no windows as we live in a mid terrece house.Kirsty doesn't like the colour but i do so thats all that matters i said as she is moving to yorkshire in may! I wish she wasn't going and will miss her but i suppose i have to let my little chickens go one day! hahaha I'm so happy for you that your mum is doing so well, and i know she can't swollow but at least she got to taste the food. Must have been bliss to her bless her! Shame you are a liverpool fan but i forgive you and maybe we could start a liverpool chelsea lovers fan club up! wonder if that would work?????? eeeeeemmmmmmmmm maybe not! hahaha but i hope that doesn't affect our friendship?????? My little essie doodles loves veg too, infact, he's a typical beagle as he will eat anything if it's given to him so you have to be a bit careful that he doesn't have too many treats! he will do anything for food the little piggy that he is! hahaha Please let me know how your mum gets on on mon and whether she has her chemo on tuesday as i like to know how she's doing. Darryl has hospital on tuesday 11th to see his onco and finding out about radiotherapy then. He had a ct scan on tuesday just gone so find out how the mets in his spine are as well then. Well my little chicken i hope you are sleeping well lots of love and hugs mother hen mel xxxxx
Just a short one as only home for an hour as with mum for the weekend so il keep it brief as not even had time to read last few days posts, hope you are all well and that your mum is feeling as well as she can today kate and mel, i hope daryll's injections went ok, you'll be a pro before long!!
anyway sorry so short but back up to mums as im cooking dinner this eve and tomorrow, me and my big mouth offering!!! lots of love and hugs to all of you, speak soon teresa xxxxxxx
ps mel, we need to have a chat and i hope it wont cause a blip in this friendship - but Chelsea!!! lol sorry im Man U all the way!! but that might change as we've just been knocked out of the FA cup!!!!!! xx
and another ps for the 3 of you - STILL NO BLOODY BABY!!!!!!
hope you are all well today i am thinking about you all.
mel, hope the injections went well and that darryl is still good you'll be an expert before too long. i agree with chick teresa about chelsea????????? i am man u through and through as well, but i love you so we will have to agree to disagree on this one lol. still nor daley, i bet your keeping him for yourself lol. my job will be going out into peoples homes and start training on tues so fingers crossed. have a good weekend honey, speak soon, lots and lots of love chicken karen xxxx
kate hope you and your mum are ok today honey, so pleased your mum had a good day and being able to taste her food, it makes you feel a bit better doesnt it? the food still sounds yummy can i still order some with ceasar please lol. thanks for well wishes about the job, its days though, would be better doing nights lol. like you i am worried about getting too emotionally involved as i usually do as well, i am going to miss jeremy kyle and this morning lol. i hope your mum is able to have her chemo on tues, i will my fingers crossed for her bless her!!! now kate about liverpool????????????? u know man u r better lol. have a good weekend honey, speak soon, lots and lots of love your fellow chick karen xxxx
teresa my fellow man u fan, good girl love ya!! lol. i hope you have a nice time with your mum and hope you dont burn any of your cooking lol only joking bet it will be lovely, can i order a meal please? lol. hope you are feeling ok today, and hope everything went as well as expected yesterday your michaela so brave going bless her!! wheres this baby then? its staying nice and snug in there bless!! hope you have a good weekend honey, speak soon, lots and lots of love your fellow chick karen xxxx
