Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Hey Mellymoo Mother hen How you doin? Hello to Teresa Hello to Karen, Charles Ive been a little elusive as mums not good,she cried all day on mothers day and i kept going out to the garden to cry too, she really hasnt tolerated this bout of chemo well, shes due another round next week but they have cancelled it as shes just too weak, hence me being up, im known for being able to sleep on a washing line but just cant switch my brain off, im watching tmf it has Amy Whinehouse in concert, her song rehab reminds me of mum only its " they wanna make me go the hospice and i say no no no ", hope the hallways lookin good Mel, Teresa hope you are bearing up and Karen bet your glad the weekends over and done - me too Ignore me all im a little low xxxxxxx Take care all Love Kate xxxxxxxxxx
Been speaking to Lynne tonight (u no what i mean!!!) this little chicken of yours isnt bad but feeling snappy and ready to fight the world if im provoked and that is so unlike me!! Can you post uncle joe down to me as well (i take it daley already in the post??) glad the decorating coming on well and you enjoyed the complimentary therapy. Mum used to have it as well when dad used to go and I was due to visit for that and reiki but sadly didnt happen!! Well angie was at hospital today and if nothing happens naturally, as her due date still not come, this sunday, then they are going to take her in next wednesday for a ceasarean (and bless michaela is going on a college business trip to germany that day) I told angie tonight to get some castor oil and curries inside her so michaela is here when baby comes!! so this time next week + a day or 2 il be an auntie to another. Hope you. Daryll, Daley and Kirsty are all ok but then 'l know how Daley is as he'll be posted through by door tomorrow (now today) lots of love hugs and fp's to you all teresa xxxxxxxxxx
hey Kate, I can't have my little katie woo being low so how can mother hen cheer you up? I'm so sorry your mum hasn't been that good and hope she is feeling better soon. If it helps Darryl wasn't too good after his first couple of chemo's really weak and tired even though he could breathe easier,but as they have gone on he has felt better and better, so i hope your mum does the same. When you think how powerful the chemo drugs are it's no wonder people feel so awful after, but i'm hoping this will pass for her and then that will make you feel better too. Darryl ended up in hospital 3 times out of the 6 sessions of chemo he had babe so it's not unusual for that to happen. Infact, what i used to say to my self every time darryl had chemo was that he was going to go into hospital, i even had a bag packed for him. Then if he went in i was prepared for that and if he didn't then it was a bonus. I wish i was there to give my little chicken a big hug so ive sent you one instead ((((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))) i hope that helps you to feel a little better. I'm thinking of you babe and here whenever you need me love and big hugs mother hen mel xxx
Hi Teresa, I'm sorry you're feeling a bit snappy but can understand why. It's all part of the greiving process babe and i remember being angry with everyone and the whole world when my dad passed away and he was only 53 similar to your dads age.Daley is in the post i just hope i put enough stamps on him?????? hahaha will post joe to you on saturday when he's finished here ok? haha You're lucky with Daley cos he works like a trooper but doesn't eat loads but drinks lots of tea instead! think he takes after me! haha I do hope Angise goes into labour naturally and that Michaela doesn't miss it! Maybe the baby will be scared into coming now, as that happens sometimes when women find out the're going to have a caeser it scares there body into going into labour naturally!! lets hope so anyway. I hope your mum is well and hope to hear from you very soon. I have spoken to lynne tonight too so know what you mean. you take care hun your mother hen is here for you anytime lots of love and big hugs mother hen mel xxxx
Dear Kate, sorry to hear about about your mum and how you are feeling too. Im watching (well listening to tmf) and what i call dads song has just come on - sorry im diversifying...here whenever you need a chat, rant or rave, love to all of you teresa xxxxx
Ha you cheer me up a lot ,thankyou katey woo loves mellymoo xx, mum had chemo 2 years ago and amazed everyone by how tough she was, but the poor thing only had surgery 8 weeks ago and hasnt recovered from that yet so its just all too much, she has been so sick for two weeks and has had bad diar - cant spell so i will say runs !!, she usually has 5 cartons of ensure thru her peg a day and i dont think shes retained that in a week, they have fitted her with an anti-sickness driver so the nausea has lessened so fingers crossed i am very worried, hope like Darryl she gets more tolerant of it as time goes on Anyway dont wish to bring you down, happy Darryls doing well, are you stopping at the hallway or have you more decorating planned? I intend to sort mums garden out this week, it was battered by the winds and its usually her pride and joy im not green fingered mind so will probably dig up her plants mistakeing them for weeds !! Love chicken Kate xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hi my little Kate, your mum has certainly been through the mill but she sounds a strong lady and i'm sure she will get through this too. We all have bad times sweet and i'm sure this is just a setback and once she is made more comfy and the runs have stopped she will feel so much better as can't be very nice for her. You are doing everything you can do so please don't feel bad or that you're not doing enough. If you was my daughter i would be very proud of you, which i'm sure your mum does of you! We have decided to do the bathroom after the hall then our bedroom, so going to be busy for quite a while yet. My son Daley was a landscape gardener and at the moment is in the post to Teresa so if you hang on for a while i will post him to you to help with the garden when Teresa returns him! hahaha Anyway babe i won't tell you not to worry as i know you will but just try to stay strong and don't forget about yourself! love and hugs your mother hen mel xxxxx
Hi Kate Dads song was (one of many) the one that says 'Elvis isnt dead' phaps its my age but all i know is it a good song and the guy that sings it is gorgeous!!! he also liked the Westlife song 'Us against the World' and 'Home'. would love to talk about dad but i would be here forever. Dad used to have ensure through his peg for 8 hours throughout the nite and his body couldnt handle it because of the protein content, its too strong for what they have been through after their treatment, you could do what we used to with dad, we started giving him normal food (blended) and added cream for more calories so that he could sit down with us while we ate. Songs on tmf seem to get worse as the night goes on (age thing again) love and hugs teresa xxxxxxxxxxx
Hi mel had another p/m and also noticed she still on 'help' have not replied but thinking of doing so as although calm speaking to you's on here I am snappy and what better way to get it out than at those that are taking the p!! love and hugs teresa xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
