Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Hi Mother Hen Mellymoo Soory I took so long to answer, the laptop locked up and I had to restart the computer upstairs arrgggghhhhhhh! Wrote out a posting three times , oh well here now.!!
Where was I Yes it's so hard to see the awful state they are in as a result of something that is suppoesd to cure them!!
Richard works in Snodland at the paper mill. Yes i know Aylsford and the safeways warehouse, we used to get all our horse supplies from lillico just opposite form the warehouse, told you small world eh!
Hi Juls, Yeah computers are a pain arn't they!!! Mine flippin did that the other day when i was chatting to you an Karen(our mad night remember???) lol I know where the paper mill is at snodland and it is a small world i agree! lol I used to get our horse feeds and stuff from lillico's when we had horses too, plus Birchells when it was at bank street. Remember that? God i sound so old now!! lol Also clifford saunders at bank street too. Do you remember that? lol Wha a very small world we live in lol love an hugs mother hen mel xxxx
Too right I remember and do you remember the Kent saddles place up Brewers street, we bought our tack from them as I used to look after one of the employees children. Ken lyndon Dyke I also knew him from when he first went into business as the printers I worked for did all his promotional stuff.
Horsy talk - what did you have, where did you keep them, when and what did you do with them?
My dear Juls, well well what a small world indeed. I do remember Kent saddles at Brewer street as we also got saddles from there, as thet were the best! Creep creep!!! lol We had 16 ponies altogether a wide variety and me and my sister trudy bought them ourselves by bunking school and going fruit picking!! Naughty girls that we were! lol We used to buy them as foals or yearlings then bring them on and when old enough break them in ourselves. That was when you could buy a foal for £75-100 not like now! We used to teach kids to ride at £1.50 a time till we got shut down as we wasn't registered or anything! But we were just kids (i was 15 and trudy was 17) and didn't know about all that sort of thing then plus it was in the 70's. Best years of my life when i was young were with the horses, and would love to have another but they are so expensive to keep now. We used to keep them at Hayle Place at the stud Farm, then moved them to cave hill at tovil as we had the land to ourselves and the man who owned it Mr Perkins lived in London and only came down at holiday time so we could basically do what we liked. The funny thing was he didn't want to charge us for having them there but said if we had the land rent free then after so many years we could claim it as our own, so he charged us just £1 per year!! what a result! I remember looking for grazing land on xmas day with trudy as we had to leave our other grazing land,cos i had a little wesh pony called Trooper who kept trying to ride all the mares and he was only 9 months old at the time!!! Randy little boy he was! lol They had Throughbreed mares there at the time so they were not happy bunnys!!! Not that Trooper could do a lot size of the throughbreeds!! I thought it was quite funny watching but the owner of the land wasn't! lol God i could talk about horses all night so don't get me started, or we will be here all night!! lol I do miss them though and would love to ride again but see no point paying for lessons when i can already ride but can't afford to buy one now they are so expensive! Shame really as i do miss it. love an hugs mother hen mel xxx
Hayle place thats down cripple street wasn't it, wil that nasty steep hill but the views and the valley! wow! I do remember see the ponies down there at that time, used to go to the old 'y' centre! I didn't have ponies then,just lessons at Cobham Manor. We bought our first TBx mare 15.2 bright bay she was, shortly after we married and have had them ever since! We kept her along Pilgrims way. The fun I had and so did our children. My daughter finished at the grammar school and immediately started working with horeses, she did her AI and stable manegement about five years ago and is now an II and runs a stud/training yard in Goudhurst,
Hi Juls my horsey friendly chickie!! lol Hayle place is off cripple street at the top of teasaucer hill! What a name! lol Mind we had to run up that flippin hill for cross country at school and you needed a cuppa by the time you got to the top!! lol Your daughter has done really well bet your proud of her!! Your mare sounded lovely too and i also know where pilgrims way is too the horses are fun but shame all good things come to an end eh? love an hugs mother hen mel xxx with choccy horses!! lol
Mel Darling Dont ever ever feel the need to apologise to me. always know were you are coming from, always get you and Chick Karen, probs lie with me, I know where Mums at , It hurts dont think of her as bein old 65? Dad yeah 10 yrs old er and he acts it, suppose I cant admit it, that things are comein to ahead Hey Jules, Helen, Kim, Rooster, Sorry I aint in a good place at mo, Teresa chick I miss you babe xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hav jus read what happened with your darryl,it must have been so scary for you both,im so so sorry that i was not on computer last few days to support you,i know its no excuse but im having big problems with my daughter who is 17,she seems to hate me and doug at the moment,and i have a feeling that she is planning to leave home,she has not came in yet,and other daughter leaving to work in spain,flys next sunday,any way enough of me ,im so glad that darryl has medication now to stop those horrible side effects and sickness that he had,and thank god that karen and other chickies were around for you,im going to try and check on here every night from now on,i dont want to let anyone down again,you dont deserve this,if there is a god,then he made a very special person when he made you,people like you are few and far between,and i feel priviledged to hav met you but once again sorry for not being here in your time of worry but i promise i do care tons
will post again in abit as want to post a very special karen and kate now,it so worrying what just read about our db,hav you heard any more news lots of love your chickie tortoise kim (if you'll still have me )please (((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))) and XXXXXXXXXXXXXXKISSESXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
my dear chickie Kate, Babe i'm always here for you please remember that. You never walk alone i am with you every step of the way! I wish i could hug you and say something comforting to you but sadly this silly cyber thing keeps us apart, but forever and ever i'm here sweetie. Remember you have my numbers so if you ever want to chat remember i'm only on the end of the line as well as being here. Our DB has done so well and i truly do hope that she pulls back again after all we haven't written her off yet!!!! She's so strong and i don't think this set back will hold her down i know she will fight with the same dignity and courage that she has always had!!! You're very lucky to have her as a mum so loving and caring when her life has not always been easy, and she's very lucky to have such a lovely loving caring daughter as you. I'm here babe forever i will never let you down of that you can be sure so you just hang on to me and i will guide you through your life! love you loads more then you will ever know. love and big big big huggles love mother hen mel xxx
Good to hear from you babe, we are always gonna ave you whatever ok? so stop apologisin XXXXXXXXXX
Sorry bout your 17 yr old, what a little bugger hey, but shes your little bugger babe and she will grow out of it, poor sweetheart just rebelling she will end up the closest to you, I know, cos I was a bugger too ha ha
hope you are ok babes thanks for your kindness bout DB
