Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Just to say i am about if anyone wants a chat???? Had to watch casualty before i came on as i love that programme and have seen them all since they started!! Sad i know! lol Daz has been fine today just a little headache which he said is loads better than it was so hopefully continue like that. I heard from Teresa today. Michaela had he chemo yesterday and did well. Teresa said Michaela is very tired but when she's awake she's eating well so thats a good sign!! Infact, Teresa said Michaela is eating her out of house and home!! lol Very good news indeed! She has to get some new software for her computer but hopefully will be back very soon. She misses us all very much and sends love and hugs all round!
Kate i feel i owe you a big big apology!!! I replied to you before i saw your rant on the rant thread and now feel really bad for what i said! I hope you forgive me as no malicious intent was meant and i hope that i didn't offend you??? I know out DB will pull through like she always does for you and hope she is back with you and your dad soon. I'm just so sorry about what i said about being prepared for anything, it wasn't meant in a bad way and i will stay positive for you babe and our DB!!! I'm just so so sorry xxxxxxx
Well now i've finished apologising for putting my big foot in it, if anyone wants to chat to me still i'm about! love an hugs mother hen big mouth mel xxxxx
Hows things with you and Richard today? I hope you are both well and that Richard has been resting? When is his next chemo or has he finished now? If all finished do you know what is happening next re treatments etc? Don't i ask alot of questions? Nosey cow i am!!! LOL love an hugs mother hen mel xxx
I'm pleased Darryl is feeling better today and you have worked out the best way to manage his nausea and pain, the strategy you stated earlier makes sense, load the pain relief prior to and keep topped up afterwards.
How has he been in himself happier? And you - have you fully recovered from your scare?
Richard totally over did the work at the beginning of the week and hasn't recovered yet. Also his chemo regime is tablets twice daily for 14 days and then 6 rest, so at present we are half way through and the effects of his chemo are well and truly with us.
At present he has not lifted himself off the sofa since thursday morning apart from to go to bed. He just doesnn't have the energy or strength. He wasn't very well yesterday and had us worried as he was just soo very cold despite warm jumpers, thick socks and heavy cord trousers plus heating up high, he was also wrapped up in blankets just so cold. So I was taking his temp every hour but it never went up so no infection just another side effect to add to the long long list. Today his feet hurt again and so he can't walk also his appetite has vanished. As far as future is concerned his onc will only discuss up to next appointment and no further. Her opinion is there are enough variables between visits without worrying what will happen further down the line!
Hi Juls, Richard sounds so much like Darryl!! I used to have to nearly nail him to the sofa after chemo as he felt better and would rush around doing things then be wiped out for days after!! These men you can't tell them can you?? They think they know best! lol I think they feel fine for a day and forget they are so ill and just want to be 'normal' so end up over doing things. I know Drryl is used to being really active especially in his job before he had cancer. It must be hard for them to just sit around all day doing nothing! Darryl finds it especially hard as he was in the buiding trade nearly all his working life and had just started a new job in april last year then got diagnosed with cancer last september, so hadn't been there long and was just going to be trained as a trainer when he had to give up. Mind his new job have been really good to him and have even given him over £2,000 as a gift from the company!!! What nice people they are! I feel we have been very lucky as i know some people have been treated like crap by their employers. I hope Richard starts to feel better soon bless him, and i have a nail gun here if you would like to borrow it!! lol
I have recovered from my scare thank you and that wasn't without the support from you Karen and Helen. You were all wonderful my little mellys angels for sure!! Darryl is much much better and is playing burnout paradise on xbox live so must be feeling ok!lol These boys will always be boys just get more expensive toys!!!! lol love an hugs mother hen mel xxxxx
Richard is watching footie right now but INSISTs that he only ever watches 'once in a blue moon', there are an awful lot of blue moons about just now, don't you think?
Yes boys and toys both just get bigger and more expensive!
Hi Juls, you're so right bout boys and toys so i'm glad we agree on that!!! lol Darryl has done roofing, tarmacing and was in demolition work too which he loved as he got to smash up things!!! lol Sadly the company couldn't afford to carry on in Kent (they were based in Ireland) so all the men got made redundant. His latest job was With Waitrose in a main distribution warehouse(where the old Safeways warehouse used to be at aylsford, not sure if you know where i mean?) They had just started up there and Darryl was there from the first day they opened, even before they had any stock in!!! But they have been so good to us and i take him over to see his mates there every few weeks and some of his friends come here to see him too. I really do hope Richard is a bit better soon. It's so awful seeing our big strong men bought down by this awful illness isn't it? But he will get strong again, just as Darryl has of that i'm sure. It's just a shame the treatments make them so ill to help them get better. What work did Richard do before he got ill? you don't have to answer that if you wish not to, so no worries there. love an hugs mother hen mel xxx
