Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
rooster mick is so right where theres life there is life, and hunni yes, where theres life there is HOPE!! please dont let your mums friends dampen anything, you all need to remain positive and strong and very hopeful, our db is here and is fighting, she is a real star just as you your dad and bro are too, there crying at her bedside isnt going to make her feel strong is it?? i have also replied to your rant but wanted to add it here too, i and we all here will keep you positive, strong and very hopeful babe!! your amazing, just keep doing what your doing, and i am praying like a mad woman for db to get over this hurdle!! your love and care to your dear mum is outstanding!! please give her all my love and a gentle hug!!
love you babe sending millions of hugs and tons of love love chickie karen xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hope your'e having a good day, you have been busy helping sort caz's doors etc., bet your shattered now lol, hope she has had a lovely time away, and i will be thinking about you for appt on monday, and hope your hubby is well. enjoy your weekend and hope your having a nice rest now
love and hugs to you all love chickie karen xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hello, chickie/ mother hen deputy Karen, thank you for that note, am sitting down having a rest, just before going to clear up after the boss, men always make so much mess doing the DIY!
Deputy Mama hen Karen, yes, men are the messiest of creatures, he is still pottering about, so I will be employed for a bit, lol! There is so much to do to this place! We will hopefully settle down a bit when it gets dark??????Actually, neither of us slept well last night, so maybe it will be an early night and a 'zonk' out...!?!?!?!
i think an early night is definately in order for you both bless you, i bet your'e praying for it to get dark so you can have a well deserved rest....lol.... helen, ive got an idea, if you close all the curtains and turn out all the lights you can pretend its night already then you can stop working!!!!!....lol...
hope you both get a much better sleep tonight love deputy karen xxxxx
