Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Mellymoo I was very upset to read about you and Darryl, hope his treatment gets easier as it goes on and thankgoodness the lovely chicks were around to see you through, sending all my love to you and Darryl babe xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Karen,helen,Juls,Kim,Lynne,Rooster,Charles hope you are all ok, Glad Teresa is keeping in touch with our nurse gladwys, my love to each and everyone of you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Well folks I type this to you in a daze. I was hunted down by one of mums mac nurses yesterday, she said DB was very poorly , I asked if she would improve and she said she didnt know she said it wasnt the cancer it was due to the poisioning last week, mums eyes are still yellow, Im worried her organs are packing in but Im too scared to push for answers, The mac nurse said I should be prepared and get mums affairs and paperwork in order and if needed be she would get mum home and Marie Curie nurses would care for her 24/7 at home
I refuse to give up hope, I have seen mum at deaths door numerous times and she has always pulled through, im probably being naive this time but Mum wont stop fighting, her spirit is amazeing, one of the nurses said to her yesterday " Oh havent you been unlucky" No Im very lucky mum replied I am very spoilt" , Her sense of humour is still there she said theres a nosy old git down the corridor who keeps stareing in at her and has been grounded,mum was laughin maybe Ive still got it hey!! turns out he was moved out of that room and wants it back,nurses had to tell him off, mum found it hysterical, bless They swapped her bed yesterday to one of the rippling air beds as shes got a bedsore on her bottom, she said ooh I shut my eyes and pretend Im on a cruise ship.......
Anyway folks Ive waffled and bored you all enough, please pray for her Keep looking at that moon Much Love to you all Kate xxxxxxxxxxxxx
my dear kate i'm so sorry our db is still poorly, but i totally agree with you on never giving up hope babe, i hope she will be feeling better very soon. she is a very strong lady and her spirit and sense of humour is amazing, i was laughing about that old git, and about her on a cruise ship bless !! i have still been sending loving thoughts to you at 10pm, and am praying for our db to get better. how lovely she said she is lucky and very spoilt, your such a loving and caring daughter. hope your dad is ok, and hope youve been able to sleep better thinking of you all the time milions of hugs and buckets of love, and praying hard love chickie karen xxxxxxxxxxxxx
hope everything is going well with darryls treatment and that the side effects have been easier for him, have been thinking about you all, hope your feeling ok too,
speak soon hunni lots of love and hugs your chickie karen xxxxxxxxxxxxx
dear chickies helen, juls and kim
hope your all ok, and having a good day lots of love and hugs chickie karen xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dear all, there are so many chickies as well as Mother Hen Mel now, it's easier to say that!
Mama Hen Mel, thank you for your kind words, and I do hope Darryl's Radio has been better for you both the last couple of days....don't forget to get plenty of rest over the weekend....
Kate, so sorry DB has been so ill, but you made me smile about her fighting spirit, and the ripple mattress...bless her, she still has her sense of humour intact!
Karen, hope you are coping with being surrogate Mama, and holding the reins, haha
Juls, have p/md you, and thank you for your message...
Teresa, so great that Michaela feels well enough to make you a cuppa, that is a step in the right direction...
I am now up at daughter's house, have cut the grass, and we have rebuilt a door (she bought new ones as the existing ones were all horrid and none matched, they are almost all too long and as they are cottage style, need rebuilding properly so they fit.) ready to hang tomorrow, that's in addition to packing and driving here, we are now having a well deserved sit down!
It's heartbreaking hearing about the traumas that so many of you have to cope with on a daily basis. I do feel for you all and my thoughts and wishes are with you. I am so lucky that my life is currently about the more mundane day to day things that occur just living our lives.
Well, I say mundane, last night as Club Secretary I had to lock up the Social Club. It all went well until I got home and got a call from a member who'd had a call from a friend who'd got a call from two blokes I'd locked in !
oops ! Luckily they stayed in the lobby and didn't set the intruder alarm off, saving me a Police bill of several hundred pounds !
Today the members have started calling me Mr Mackay (the warder from Porridge).
They were trapped in the smoking area - but didn't have light !!!! When I got there I said I'd pass them the cigarette lighter from my car but every time I took it out it was too cold by the time I got it to them.
