Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Hehehehe I think I am off to bed, so Good night, Karen and if you catch up with Mick tell'm I wants me draws! Good night, Helen, will speak to you tomorrow, I am home still and still battling through the backlog. Godd night anyone else I have missed.
Well had my test results today and had good news an bad news!
The good news all bloods ok apart from cholesterol that was 7.6. Meant to be below 4!!!!! Think i bin a bad girl with the bicckys!!! lol
But my ECG abnormal. Aparantly my heart misses a beat then adds and extra one in and still very fast so got to see a Cardiologist for a 24hr mobile ECG and a angiogram to check arteries in the heart!!! Have to see him next friday, so got appointment quick. Also got to do an exercise ECG, so that should be fun!!! See me running on the treadmill be worth a laugh, probably spin right off the end! lol
The GP worried as have heart attacks and strokes in the family, infact, i think he was more worried than me! lol I was just glad nothing sinister so i'm a happy, if a little worried mother hen! lol
Karen so glad you passed your course and that alls well. When you next here from Teresa would you mind asking her if you can p/m me her mobile number so i can txt or ring her please as i don't have it, and would love to talk or txt her if thats ok with her of course. If not please keep me updated as to how she and little Michaela are won't you as i do worry and have been thinking of them alot especially when looking at the moon! Thank you once again for holding the fort and i'm awarding you with a gold medal this week cos you deserve it!!! One gold medal on it's way to you know!!!!!!!! lol
Kate i hope our DB was a bit more comfortable today when you saw her and hope she gets well very soon. Your childhood was alot like mine. My stepfather brought me up also although i always classed him as my dad as we were very close. We too often had ambulances and the police round our house when we were young(before mum met stepdad) as there was always fights and that usually ended up in bloodshed. My mother married five times and had six kids and four out of them five were crap and beat her or us regulary. The last time my biological father saw me he set my cot alight with me in it!! Thankfully i don't remember that and i was saved by mother(not sure why as she was so nasty to me growing up anyway, but there you go, she must have liked me at one point! lol).Just wished she had found the right husband and father the first time round instead of putting us all through her men five times!!! But thats life i suppose, and we are just stronger for it babe. Who knows we may have had a perfect childhood and turned out right bitches so at least we can say it has made us compassionate caring loving people for it!
I'm so proud of you, you'll never realise how much. You bring a smile to my face everytime i hear from you, you're a real credit to your mum!!! She has done so well in not only getting away from a wife beater but in fighter but also in fighting this awful disease and still continues to smile! I don't know where she gets all of her strenght from, but i know one thing she has passed it onto you!!!
I love and care about you so much sweetie you really are the best you deserve 2 gold medals!
So 2 gold medals are on there way to you now! lol hope to hear from you tonight sometime(if you haven't already posted as i type this!) lol
Dear juls, so you came to Maidstone yesterday! I live there shame i never knew you were so close could have arranged to mmet you all for coffee's or tea's!! Glad you had a good day though. Also that Richard has had a good few days, that must set your mind at ease a bit? He washed 3 cars if i'd known i'd have brought mine round too!! lol Well done to him though you must be very proud! Darryl starts his radio tomorrow afternoon at 3.20pm so will let you all know how that goes. Although we're not sure if they are just measuring him up for the mask tomorrow or actually starting radio but will know more tomorrow. Darryl continues to do well and at the moment is on xbox live playing burnout paradise ! These boys and their toys eh???? lol
Helen so glad alls well with you and has Caz heard from her audition yet? I enjoy hearing from you and you also cheer me up and make me laugh! Not sure about these girlies and their underwear think they have been being naughty again! lol I think i will definately have to get that wet lettuce leaf out for a few slaps don't you? lol (only joking girlies) lol I hope you sleep well tonight and have a good day tomorrow.
Anyway girlies enough of my gabbling on! lol Hope you are all well, and to anyone i may have missed i send my heartfelt love and big big hugs xxxxx You all take care love and hugs mother hen mel xxxx
Dear Mother Hen Mel, wow, that Cholesterol is a wee bit up?! you need to stop all the cream teas, haha! Hope they are going to put you on Statins? If the first one doesn't suit you, gives you headaches and so on, go back and say so, please, it sometimes takes a couple of tries to get it exactly right, now I really will go to bed, am yawning! love to all....
Hi Helen, Yes have got Simvastatin to take once a day. Starting them tomorrow. Thank you for you message it's good to hear from you! Night night sleep well love an hugs mother hen mel xxxxx
Dear Mother Hen mellymoo Where abouts in Maidstone are you, we lived there forever, that is until we moved away. I still mostly work at St Faiths AE centre.
so pleased nothing sinister came back hunni. tell darryl to hide them biccys and cream cakes....lol, will be thinking about you next week when you go to see the cardiologist. have been laughing thinking of you on treadmill and running off the end lol, seriously though sending my thoughts to you for it. good luck and i will be thinking about you and darryl tomorrow for the rads appointment, please let me know how he gets on babe.
teresa said she wanted to ring you but couldnt get on laptop to get your number, shall i p/m you her mob no, or do you want to p/m me your home no, and i can give it to her, its up to you hunni.
mellymoo, you have had a very tough childhood and your post made me cry again, how awful for all of you as children, it must have been very frightening, but like kate you have both turned out to be the most wonderful, caring, compassionate people i have ever known, you are amazing!!!!!
thanks for the gold medal sweetie, it was so big it wouldnt get through the letterbox!! lol
will be thinking of you tomoz and sending a big hug for darryl
Hi Yes I do know exactly where you mean, our second son has one of the new flats very near Morrisons. We used to live just of Sittingbourne Rd, I grew up in Barming and Richard by the Firestation as his dad was ADO based there.
Hi Karen just a quick question, I haven't seen Mick post for a few days, do you know if everything is OK with him? Is he away or have we scared him off?
