Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
i should imagine richard is shattered bless him, all that shopping, esp clothes, not many men that dont get bored of that is there? lol and cleaned 3 cars, like you, my god i cant even do 1 lol, hope he is resting now
Yep he's resting, watching a detective programme, that I'm watching as well, only just enough to prove I'm not sleeping. You see, I need to be awake as he is feeling well enough to be exercising his 'pouring arm' and his 'raising glass to mouth' arm and If I don't keep up there will be no more red stuff in the bottle !!!!!!
I don't mind - really say she very feebly so he can't hear or he will take that as an invite to finish off the bottle!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello, chickies all, Mama Hen Mel too if you are there!
Juls, save some of that red for me if there's a drop left....make sure he doesn't drink it all! but it was good for him doing some window shopping, how brave he was, men usually hate that!
Karen you are so brilliant holding the fort and helping sort us all out, love....(what is this about parachutes and big silky materials??????)
Kate, so happy you can feed your Dad up with all his favourites, bless you, and hope your DB continues to gain....
Teresa, such great news Michaela is well enough to be discharged even though she is still so poorly, bless her, it is tough watching your babe being on stinking awful but wonderfully working chemo....I bet Professor Linch is in overall charge....
Mother Hen Mel, hope you are getting some rest, you need it to build up you strength for that holiday....
Moomy, there is about one glass left in the bottle so get your skates on as I can't hold the enemy off for too much lonnggggeeerrrrr argh he's reaching in sllooowww motion and grasping the bottle neck just about nowwwww!! And I stiil have half of the first one to drink!!
Re window shopping, he has always hated it big time, I think this round of chemo has been subtituted for happy pills, never ever before has he lasted more that 2 mins of idle wander unless in Maplins.
