Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
You are just gorgeous, your words are fab, I felt that hug thanks chick, wish I was as eloquent, you are a superstar Im fine babe, just haveing a low moment amazing how writing stuff down makes you feel tonnes better, feel sorry for you all reading my ramblings ha ha and when you all have your own troubles, hope Richard and you are haveing a better day, Im off to hospital now, so hope I catch up with you later??? Hope so
Sending you a huge huge hug right back Tonnes of love your friend and fellow chikky Kate xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Oh Helen You are just gorgeous too, Im fine babe,feel better honestly, your kindness and care is so very lovely, hope our talented chikky Caz is haveing a good day and you too, I feel ive eaten ready brek with a warm glow around me, I love the people on this thread so much, what special beautiful people you all are, maybe hopefuly one day we can all meet up, Id throw my arms around you all Forgive me babe I have to leave for hospital Hope you are about later tonight Buckets of love to you all my friend, I truly feel lifted now, thanks to you all Kate xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hope your feeling ok today and did you get your results yesterday? hope everything ok and you feeling better. have been thinking about you hun.
thats good news about darryl starting his rads tomorrow, but obviously you must be feeling a bit worried about how he will be feeling, fingers crossed that he will not feel too bad with it, sending him a big hug for tomoz babe.
i have been looking at the moon and sending tons of love to you all and loving vibes, have you felt them??????????
teresa internet still down, but she text and said michaela still poorly but she has come home today, so thats great news isnt it bless her.
please keep me updated on how you are, and how darryl gets on tomorrow, i will be thinking about you all.
finished my training today, still waiting for crb to come back, must be bad its taken ages lol
anyway hun, hope your resting and have had a good day
sending loads a love and hugs your chickie karen xxxxxxxxxxx
hope your ok hunni, and hope caz is well, she is amazing isnt she and a real inspiration.
how is your ankle now? bit better i hope.
teresa text today and said michaela still poorly but ok and she has come home, so thats great news isnt it? she said the consultant is vicky, and the onco has a strange name, but they think its nova, she said they are all so lovely there. she asked me to say she misses everyone and send her love.
hope your having a nice relaxing evening, love and hugs karen xxxxxxxxxxxx
Will have to think of plan B ..................... I said Plan B !
I needs me smalls!!!!!!!!!!
You got you's back alright, eh? .......................... I said you got your's back?
I haven't spoke with Teresa for some days, must say Hi!
Thank you Karen for your kind words, there are so many people on this forum who know the right thing to say and to whom, you included, I often find myself thinking I wish I had thought of that, or what a wonderful supportive person and such powerful way with words, how eloquent.
All of us in our own unique way have powerful voices which we used to good effect on this forum
so good to hear from you hunni, glad our db is out of intensive care and back on a ward, but sorry she is in a lot of pain bless her heart!! have been thinking about you all the time and sending you all the love in the world and massive hugs. hope this afternoons visit went well and hope she was feeling a bit better, and hope tomorrow is even better babe. its great to hear she is having good care. your poor dad bless him, and how lovely are you to cook all of his favourite meals and to get all his sweets etc., to make him eat something, what a wonderful and special daughter you are!!! it must have been so nice for you to have your bro with you and i bet you will miss him terribly, hope he is ok now. how lovely that you got closer over the weekend, and glad that youv'e managed to get some better sleep.
hope your sticking to your mugs of tea!!!! lol
kate babe, your post to mellymoo about your childhood made me cry, it is very sad, how can anyone be like that with there wife and there children. you have all been through so much, our db a very brave lady, thank god she found the courage to get away, i admire her. kate, how very sad about your other brother, i really feel for you my sweetie.
hope your feeling ok, sending tons and tons of love, and millions of hugs, your friend chickie karen xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Thanks for asking he is having the best chemo week ever (so far, stiil a week and half to go). We went into Maidstone yesterday and had lunch with grandson at our fav pasta place, And he suggested we did some window shopping!!
AND he didn't get stressed, just wandering, looking and browsing, not bored or imaptient scary!! - every heard of that in a man - not here any rate he does NOT do clothes / window shopping. Bikes and Car and gadgets yes, perfum, clothes No way.
Today he has pottered around and cleaned three cars, OK now he is shattered. Well so would I be, one car does that for me!
Things are looking good, at least for the time being. Don't mean to sound as if I wish him ill, it's just that since moving to this house we have spent nearly six years staggering from one disaster to another.
So like many on this forum, I measure how good things are by how well he is and we are 'doing good'!
