Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Hello Mel. I am taking time out of a busy schedule to tell you that you are never far from my thoughts. What you are going through is the biggest and most traumatic experience anyone ever has to face. I have had the worst possible day which I will not bore you with apart from telling you that it is also my birthday today I am in New Zealand and therefore we would normally have been out on the razzle together. I have just booked a table for one. I have asked for the other place to be set and for a rose to be placed on the chair. It is an endless heartbreak dear Mel and time has no way of making it go away. I have found both the kindest of acts on share and some of the most hurtful. Pick your true friends they will be with you years from now.. Lots of love and understanding Charles xxxx
Dear Mel, sorry havent been around for a few days. however you have been in my thoughts continously holding your hand tightly love and big {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} suexxxx
Oh, Charles, I, like Donna, would want to wish you the best birthday you could have, your post here sounds so sad......a rose on the chair is so heartfelt and poignant.....I can at least send you my love and fond regards for today.....
Mel, it is so painful and raw for you at this moment, but am sending you my love and hugs too.....as always.
like everyone else i just want to wish you happy birthday and hope you had the best one you could possible have xxxxxx
hi all chickies and rooster
mel has just text and said she wont be around for a little while as her laptop main board gone, so needs to be repaired bless her, couldnt of happened at a worse time could it? esp now when she needs us all, hopefully it wont take too long. she asked me to let you all know. love n hugs to you all xxxxxxxx
still thinking about you always melly, much love and strength to you, kirsty and daley love karen xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dear Mamma Mels gorgeous inside and out, still thinking of you Kirsty and Daley xxxxxx Hey to all feathered friends, chikky butty thankyou for our pm, it wont let me reply ??? Have a good day all Kate xxxxxxxxxxx
