Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Hey all my chickies Just to thank you all again for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. I love you all so much. Well i went to see daz today (well yesterday now) and i feel so much more calmer now. Bless him he looked so peaceful and even had a little smile on his face. It was comforting to be with him for a while and have a chat. Kirsty came with me and cheeky moo made me laugh. She reckons daz had botox as all the frown lines on his face had gone. He looked so young bless him. I know he would have laughed at what Kirsty said as they had the same sense of humour!lol I am going to see him again on Friday as that will be the last time i get to see him before his funeral on monday. i know that is going to be such a hard day but i will make Daz proud of me yet! I hope you and your loved ones are well and thank you so very much for all your support over the last 12 days i would have truly and honestly have been so very lost without you all here for me. You all take care Love you all loads Love and hugs your calmer MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) and much love to you all....you have no reason to make Daz proud of you yet as you've already done that and you'll get through the next few weeks because of the strength that you have, he'd be so so proud of you as all of us, your chickies are XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Dear Mel, i have no words of wisdom,just my love n hugs babe You were one of the first people to welcome me on this site,and give me support,for that i am grateful Be thinkin bout you Monday ,another cyber hand for you to hold xx Still got my bossy mellymoo hen, still layin the odd egg,lol
hey chickie Teresa Thanks babe. I must admit i do feel a wee bit better now than i did a few days ago. I still cry every morning and get down in the eve's but on the whole i feel i have improved quite a bit. Surprising what a few days can do. It was funny yesterday here too and Daley Kirsty and i were in stitches. With all the rain we had the garden had flooded to the back door so Daley was trying to lift the man hole cover to sweep some of the water down. Kirsty had the brill idea of helping and decided to grab a screw driver to try to help lift the cover. It was so funny cos she slipped and landed on her bum in 3 inches of water. We laughed so much none of us could talk. We all said if Daz had been here he would have been in hysterics! lol See we're flipping useless without daz around! lol Hope you and our baby chick are ok? Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey chickie shezie It's always a pleasure to talk to you hun and thank you for all the kind messages you have sent me. Yet another of my little stars! Glad my hen is ok? Bet the rain upset them yesterday? Poor little soggy chickens! lol Love and hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
