how do you scatter your dad's ashes?

Were there any places that were especially important to him? I know a young boy who was a massive Leeds United fan and had his ashes scattered on the pitch. My own husband is a big cricket fan and works for Yorkshire Cricket. They have a little memorial garden there and he wants his ashes buried there and a little plaque, so that our son can go and say hi when he goes to matches :) If he wasnt into sport, maybe in a part of the countryside he liked or into the sea on a beach he liked.

Another thing I have seen is having some of the ashes made into jewelry. Some are very expensive but other more afordable, like a pendant or a ring with a little bit of the ashes incorporated into it. For some people that might feel conforting to have a little bit of him with your Mum all the time.I know something like that isnt for everyone.

I think it will be very emmotional whatever you both decide to do but hopefully it will also be a little bit healing as well.

Sending you love and the strength to talk to your Mum about it x

Jo

thank you, Jo. Just looked at your profile.  It's my nightmare my husband's cancer comes back & that I lose him so I am very, very sad for you and your lovely husband.

Thanks for your suggestions: it will be massively hard to discuss, let alone actually carry out.

lots of love and hugs to you & thank you again

Su

The only thing I would add to the jewellery bit, is how would you feel if it was stolen or lost also you dont have to scatter them there is usually an area in the cemetary that is for cremations so you can have a small plot for taking flowers to  and a plaque, and the sme goes for the cremetoriums

Hi

We arranged for dad's ashes to be scattered at sea because he was a naval man. The RNLI do it for a small donation & it is a really dignified, respectful service. I have had friends who have had relatives ashes made into jewellery, artwork & some into fireworks.....there are so many ideas! It depends on what kind of man your dad was & whether he had a special place or had the attitude that he was going out with a bang or not. I know how hard it is to get the family together on this & raising it is not easy but I went on the emotional blackmail route......will probably sound harsh but here goes......think about dad at mo being in a storage facility.....is that really what your mum would want for him or would she want him free, as he is now meant to be. This was how I got my family to do things......I didn't want him in the company of strangers who didn't mind about locking that box in a room at night & leaving him alone....or worse in the company of more strangers on a shelf with a number! I wanted him to be where his heart had always been.......on the sea. I have lost 3 family members in the last 10 months & each of them have now had their journey, each of them as individual as they were. My sister is at home with her children & my brother in law will be scattered at his favourite holiday place. I have planned in advance & I am going to be made into catherine wheel fireworks to be let off at night, as that is my favourite time of day, on the south downs as I love it there. 

I sympathise with your mum though, it does make things even more final than a funeral, I held on to the fact that the service wasn't the last leg for dad & we could still have him a bit longer, then that suddenly felt selfish & on father's day we set him free & as emotional as it was......it helped us all & it was so private, we could really say goodbye without interference.

I hope this helps, sorry for some of the harsh bits but sometimes people do need a guiding hand & my brothers have told me that it did actually make them start the process of letting go 

My husband has requested and left instructions in his will that his ashes are scattered where he and I first met which is a beauty spot in N Yorkshire. Hope that you can think of somewhere that is both appropriate to him as a person and special to you as a family.

Best wishes,

Trish

Thanks, Minxy.

I didn't notice you being harsh at all!!!

You talk a lot of sense. I like the fireworks idea (not for my dad tho).

The finality bit strikes a chord. I'm scared of how my mother will react and I know I will want to run far, far away as fast as I can.

BUT she does have to let go, I think. Oh dear.

Thank you again.

Su

Trish

thanks for your reply. What a lovely & romantic idea. (My husband and I want woodland burials).

xxxxxxxxx Su

When we lost my Mum, the grandchidren scattered her ashes. They are all adults ranging from mid twenties to early forties. They all went to-gether ( those that wanted to that is) to Mum and Dads favourite woods where they used to walk their dog. Then when Dad passed, they went back and scattered Dads ashes there too.
While they were scattering Mums ashes, my nephew decided to sprinkle some alongside the river and promptly fell in. All the cousins were convinced Mum had given him a gentle push. When they came back, one absolutely dripping, it was amazing how relieved we all felt. Even Dad had a wry smile on his face. 
I love the thought of them to-gether in one of their favourite places. 

xxxxxx

Su

Once we got to the day....we watched him go out to sea, the service started....I looked around at the others & although we were crying, it was not that sad hysterical scenario. It was much more calm & as we watched the service end....all of us stopped & my brother tipped his hat & the relief we all felt was astounding, I am even smiling as I write this. We have a place we all go to talk to him, knowing that he is back where he always felt comfortable & he belonged. My dad always had itchy feet & while having a family kept him grounded, we always travelled, whether by boat, by car or by train, we were always on the move. There was always more for us to see & he made the world an exciting place. He never did visit all the places he wanted to while he was here...but who knows where he has got to now!

I hope your mother finds the comfort we did once you have decided on a place

Good Luck & you know where to find me if you need any help

My deepest condolences for the loss of your friend. The process can be overwhelming at such a difficult time. Have you considered a service that will scatter his ashes? There are several companies that offer similar ashes scattering services but it looks like Well Lived is more focused on locations like you are describing. See welllived.com/.../destinations