Hi. My first time posting. I posted this in the melanoma forum and then realised here might be more appropriate.
My mam who has mid stage dementia has just been diagnosed with an aggressive 5cm melanoma on her leg, it was a long term leg ulcer which changed rapidly from February onwards this year. The consultant said that they don't think she'll tolerate chemo treatment or surgery under local or general anesthetic. She had hip surgery earlier this year and she suffered quite bad delirium afterwards. So consultant is suggesting "best supportive care" is best.
I was too shocked to ask any real questions or ask for more details of the consultant. I've got a phone appointment to speak to the skin cancer nurse middle of next week and hopefully soon a Macmillan nurse. I'm terrified of what is next.
We've been through a lot in the last 6 months, with my dad's ill health - heart failure his own recent dementia diagnosis, my mum breaking her hip and going into a care home.
Mam doesn't know and I don't know whether to tell her and I don't know how to tell Dad this other huge heartbreaking thing either. My siblings know but we're waiting until after speaking to the skin cancer nurse to tell Dad.
Don't know what my question is really, just...help!
Thanks so much for reading x
Hi jamjamdeek
Welcome to our community, I hope you find it both informative and supportive.
Sorry to hear about both your parents, that combination of dementia and cancer sounds very difficult.
Something I found quite helpful was looking at your feelings when someone has cancer as I found being able to recognize these emotions and accept them as normal and valid helped to make them less overwhelming. Rember too that we are more than welcome to ring the helpline - 0808 808 0000 open 7 days a week from 8am to 8pm - I have certainly mostly cried at them in the past they can be very helpful.
<<hugs>>
Steve
