Mum diagnosed with Lung cancer which has spread to her brain

Hi JoeyCocoaaf4db 

Welcome to our community, I hope you find it both supportive and informative.

I am Steve one of the community champions and my experience of cancer is via my wife who has Leiomyosarcoma in her case now secondaries in her lungs.

Totally get the bit about crying, I used to specialise it tears in the shower then I could always blame the red eyes on getting shampoo in them. Anger is a very common emotion and I find looking at Your feelings when someone has cancer quite helpful in being able to recognize these and accept them as part of our new normal can help to make them just a little bit less overwellming. 

I did a living with less stress course with Maggies that really helped me. The idea of trying to keep the focus on the here and now rather than a future that I cannot control but can fear was really good. Concious breathing also helped me deal with when life decides to throw another curve ball but also in helping me relax and get some sleep.

Do post on here whenever as someone is always listening and well done for reachng out, there are a lot of us out here and it is important that we support each other if we are to be the best for the ones we love.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi there,
Firstly, I’m sorry to hear about your mums diagnosis, it’s such devastating news and you’re not alone. When my mum was diagnosed with an aggressive brain cancer I was SO ANGRY, angry because my mum’s an amazing person and didn’t deserve this and also angry because I couldn’t justify a reason for this to happen. It was even worse when people told me to “be positive” etc.

Let yourself be angry and let yourself feel all the emotions. The emotion you feel when you see your mums favourite biscuits or coffee is just the early onset of grief which can be very confusing because she’s still here. I remember getting upset when I saw babies because I knew my mum would never meet mine.I know it seems so obvious but talking to people and getting it off your chest really will help. Maybe that’s just talking on here, or connecting with family and friends; not everyone will understand but there will be so many people that do. It’s so important that you get the support you need as then it’s a lot easier to look after our loved ones when they need us. You’re still your mums baby and she still wants to look after you and make sure you’re okay. Cancer is so cruel but you’re not alone in this so accept the help when it’s offered. 

Sending love to you and your mum xx

We had an appointment with the doctor at the hospital last Thursday, he explained to Mum that had lung cancer which has spread to her brain and also that it was in her lymph nodes on her neck. My Mum has always been a worrier but she held our hands and said she didn’t want any kind of chemo and that at 89 she’d had a good innings and whatever will be will be, she was so brave, I’ve never seen her like that before. The doctor was absolutely lovely. MacMillan rang on Friday and were so helpful, they are sending someone out to assess Mums needs.

I was really unsure that she understood what was going on back when she was first diagnosed but she did say that she’d heard all this from the previous doctor xxx.