Hi all, hoping for some support and guidance.
My husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer back in July, he had surgery and everything was looking good, however after weeks of monthly blood tests he now has to start a form of aggressive chemotherapy.
However since then my happy, joking full of laughter husband had disappeared (understandably) but the mood swings have gone to a whole other level, he is so quiet, withdrawn, moody, moaning constantly and it’s starting to take a toll on me. It feels like no matter what I do it’s wrong, I try and talk to him and I get shut down, he can’t understand what my issues are, he doesn’t help me anymore, just comes home and sleeps or plays golf and sleeps. I’m trying so hard to be understanding and patient but I’m trying to help him, arranging appointments, reminding him of appointments, arranging childcare for our young child so I can be there with him but it’s all met with such a lack of appreciation.
I feel so overwhelmed with trying to be there for him and our child, I feel over stimulated with arranging everything, working , cooking, cleaning and being a mum. I feel scared about how hard everything is now and the treatment hasn’t even started yet, so I’m anxious about how hard it will be when that starts.
I’m not sleeping well and I have no idea how to handle everything. From the outside it looks like I have everything under control but inside I’m completely falling apart!
I have no idea how to tell our young child daddy is poorly and how to explain all the side effects he’ll experience!
I need help!
Welcome to our community, I hope you find it both informative and supportive.
I am Steve, one of the community champions and my experience of cancer is via my wife who has Leiomyosarcoma.
In the early days with my wife I though I was coping fairly well but when things became a more challenging I came close to breaking, I walked in to my local Maggies and cried my story out and they helped me decide on my next steps. I spoke to my GP who gave me a couple of weeks off work and that helped me get my feet back under myself.
Our son was quite young at the time too - and of course I had the job of looking after him too and wondering what might happen next. Something that helped me with him was looking at talking to children and teenagers and the book the Secret C by Julie Stokes.
What I think really turned me around was when I did a living with less stress course. A key part was the living from day to day element as I had been worrying about a future I could not control and could imagine much worst that actually happened. The conscious breathing techniques are great too when life decides to throw another curveball but also helping me relax and get some sleep.
Do post on here whenever as someone is always listening and you might also like to look at the Testicular cancer forum where you might like to introduce yourself. If it helps you are also welcome to call the helpline.
<<hugs>>
Steve
