Some background:
dad has had leukaemia for a few years and has been ok with it but recently diagnosed with bowel cancer. Underwent operation which was a success but recovery has been tough.
it’s been tough for me to deal with because I’m close to my dad.
on top of this I am a parent carer. I also work full time as does my husband who works long and unsocial hours.
understandably my mom has found it really difficult seeing the love of her life so unwell and needing support when she has her own health challenges and caring responsibilities.
however, what it does mean is that I am the sounding board for my mom, while not having anyone to properly support me. I’m expected to carry on being everything to everyone and no one checks in on how I’m doing and if I need anything taken off my plate or if I need any support. Then I feel bad for thinking that because I’m not the one with cancer and not the one doing most of the caring in that specific relationship.
i don’t know how much longer I can go without snapping.
im not really sure where I’m going with this! I love my dad dearly, I don’t like that he’s suffering, I’m helping out where I can, but I don’t have anything more to give and I know if I set a boundary with my mom to get her to seek proper support herself it will fall on deaf ears and she’ll probably get upset with me. Then I’ll feel even more selfish. I’m not sure there’s anything that can be done other than weather the storm and hope everyone comes out ok?
