Husband got diagnosed with rectal C late March and has just had his operation last Thursday.
It was so emotional when me and our 2 young children visited him the day after, reality of everything hit I think.
He came home a week later ( Thursday just gone) and everything is so overwhelming. Suddenly I'm a carer along with being a mum all at once. I have next week off work. Me and my husband have been getting used to the stoma, and there have been some messy moments and sometime I think why! Why him, how has this even happened. He's young, always been very fit, never smoked etc etc. I know cancer doesn't discriminate. It's just shit.
He came home with the drainage bag still in because it was producing a weird coloured substance so had to keep on for 2 weeks and having to have a zero fat diet along with the low fibre. Anyway, it went very red, painful and some pus so took him up to the hospital today and he's still there while they work out what to do. He's also suffering with back pain and one day he got stuck unable to move at all and I was told by the ward to phone for an ambulance but because it wasn't a threat to life they couldn't help so that was stressful to deal with alone.
We don't know the stage either yet, waiting for biopsies. We do know it hasn't spread to other organs. So there's that to wait for.
When does things become a little easier? When does a person after an operation like thus become more like themselves again?
Thanks for reading xx
hi BeckyK87
Sorry to hear about what you have been going through, something we often talked about in my works carers group was how people can become carers overnight without any warning and according to the statistics 1 in 4 workers are also carers.
Things became a little easier for us when Janice settled in to a pattern of treatment, until of course something else came along. Still that was now some years ago and with the second treatment my wife's cancer became stable and has been that way now for over 10 years.
What really helped me was doing a living with less stress course from Maggies, the main feature was living in the here and now as worrying about the future just robbed us of the joy of today. The conscious breathing exercises were great though when life decided to throw us another curve ball.
<<hugs>>
Steve
Hiya, thankyou so much for this. This has really helped because I truly feel everything you have said. That stuck feeling crushes you doesn't it.
I'm so sorry you are also going through this incredibly tough journey as well. I can see that you are a very strong person and you should be so proud 
this is not easy for anyone. I hope I can be as strong as you in time 
️ xx
