Supporting my sister

Hi Laura 42, welcome to the community. So glad your sister is receiving the best treatment and that she has faith in the hospital and staff - that's so important.

You have a lot to deal with. I can empathise there, having supported my daughter through two years of treatment for a very aggressive cancer.  Throughout this time my husband, who has post stroke mobility and cognitive impairment, has been slowly going downhill. At first, I thought it was because he was so worried about daughter, but significant changes in his behaviour sent me to the GP. Husband is now having tests foe Parkinson's or Alzheimer's.

You feel pulled in so many different directions, don't you? But somehow we cope, because there's no alternative. Take it one day at a time and, if everyone's feeling reasonably well, then it's a good day!

Sending love, strength and a hug. (((( ))))

Thank you so much for your welcome and also your support.

You are so right about all this but I have taken comfort from your wise words and admire your strength in coping with what life has thrown your way.

As a mother myself, I cannot begin to imagine the stress and worry of having one of your children taken ill with cancer and my heart goes out to you. ️

I really appreciate your reply to my message, as for a long time I was hovering on the edge of this forum, wanting to join in but not having the courage to do so!

It is reassuring to get a reply such as yours and I am sending love, strength and a hug your way too and I will include two emojis (I have added a heart above and a hug at the end) but I am not sure if they work on this website or not, so if they don't come through then hopefully you can imagine them!

We are just beginning this journey with our son, so we don't know where were we are at yet. Testicular cancer, removal soon. The shock has been like being hit by a freight train. We are focusing on the positives so far. Your, 'if folk are feeling good on a day is a good day', struck a cord. I feel in in limbo. I feel I am now living in this parallel world and just treading water. I am going to carry this thought with me. Bless you and your families all. PippaP xxx 

Hi PippaP, so sorry you find yourself joining this club no-one wants to be a member of.

Agree, the shock at the beginning is beyond overwhelming. But you will cope, because that's what we do, as mums. I couldn't talk to anyone for about six weeks, really just wanted to hide the two of us, daughter and I, away and 'make it all disappear'. But you just have to take it one day at a time and trust your highly skilled medical team, who will want the best outcome for your son. Impossible though it seems, tests, waiting for results, surgery and treatment does eventually become a 'new normal'. 

I know you will want to do everything possible for your son, but do make time for yourself too. Even if it's only a walk in the park, coffee with a friend, having your nails done or a long laze in the bath. You need to take care of yourself to build the resilience you need to be there for your son.

You'll get there. Very best wishes for your son's successful treatment. Sending lots of love xxx

Laura 42, how are things with you?

Bless you Cherry2. That was the kindest, loveliest message. I will take strenght from that. I am so very sorry that you too are a member of this horrible club, i hope that your lives are on a good path now. You are right, 1 day at a time is a good way to plod through. So much has happened in under 3 weeks and feel lucky to have our nhs. At this stage the not knowing where you are can make the mind run riot. You are right also, that as mums we have to be strong, I have been at all times for him and also with my husband, I don't want either of them to feel they  have to support me. Thank you again, your message gave me a boost. Love PippaP xxx

Sending many supportive thoughts your way PippaP xxx

Hi Laura 42, I am so sorry I addressed the last message to Cherry 2, I got confused. My brain seems to be utterly scrambled at the moment and I thought you had accidentally signed your real name and I wanted to keep you privacy. I had read this whole thread but still my brain has lost the plot. So I wish much love to you Laura and thanking you again for your kindness and Cherry2. PippaP. Xxx

Thank you so much for asking after me Cherry2 and I am sorry to say that last Friday at 6.15am my sister passed away, having been very ill and in hospital since the end of March and that is why there has been a resounding silence from me on this website.

There is now so much to do and it is hard to be able to grieve properly and also be the person who is in charge of everything and I will probably transfer to the Macmillan Support Line now, just so I can talk to someone when things get tough.

I will come back here in due course but please bear with me if you answer and I am very slow to reply because my inbox is full of messages from my sister's friends and she was much loved by many. I miss her so much already and the pain of her loss is very great. 

However, my big sister (she was my only sibling) prepared me for all this and at the moment I am repeating a little mantra to myself throughout the day, which I hope may help others so here it is.

'Keep calm, steady and strong.'

Lots of love xxx 

Absolutely no problem and my mind is in a similar state at the moment and I read the first message and then saw the one below. It would be very easy to accidentally use your own name on this website so thank you for looking out for that possibility but Laura 42 is indeed an alias, so all is well!
Sending lots of love and many supportive thoughts your way.  ️  xxx

A lovely message indeed and I so agree with Cherry2 about the idea of taking one day at a time and also with you, that we are so lucky to have our NHS.

I am now on a different path and as I said, I may need to talk to someone on the Support Line as my sister's passing has hit me very hard but I need to stay strong.

I will get in touch with the administrators to ask what the best route will be for me now that I have had a bereavement as I may need a different kind of support but thank you to both you and Cherry2 for being there. xxx